Non Target, needs resume help, Please kill it
http://www.razume.com/documents/22458 Have updated to a second draft
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I think you can omit USA, maybe brief description of the awards (i.e. 5% of the top class), you use mm somewhere and million elsewhere, keep it consistent. you use period at the end of some sentences, not for others. remove periods. "rescarchexi"? wtf is that
on another note, i notice that you list out your experience. try to make it more of what you learned out of the experience, not what you did
other than that looks solid
don't list awards by year and semester like that, just state the award and if you feel compelled to detail how many times you had it put something like "(3 semesters)" after it
don't put "MOORE SCHOOL OF BUSINESS" , if you are studying at the University of South Carolina and you are obtaining your BSBA people can assume you are in the business school.
get rid of the stuff on Microsoft office, everyone assumes that if you apply to a position like this you have some basic office skills
get rid of the tag "IT SKILLS" - no real suggestions for a replacement but it looks odd
basic formatting (random "," and "." to end things) ... you shouldn't end a bullet point with a period and if you choose to do it, you certainly shouldn't end some of them without a period
get rid of the explanation after Sigma Series ... if you want to talk Leadership experience then add another section to your resume and talk leadership.
something I've got critiqued on was the amount of white space. Either make your font larger or add a leadership section (if you have some experience) or a volunteer section (if you do any of that)
Hope this helps a bit. I'm also a non-target honing my resume and these are tips that I have got after my first draft.
FYI guys - the Moore School format requires the "USA" bit and the "Moore School" stuff under education.
That being said, now that you've graduated from USC, you can depart from their format. Take the M&I format and adapt it to your resume. Take all the USA's off.
What was your minor/cognate? I'd list it, you look super generic with a 3.5 Econ major from a non-target. Add "/4.0" to your GPA. Take your AP Scholar thing off, it's not related to college. Change "Awards:" to "Honors:". Were you on a merit scholarship at USC? If so, add it.
Change everywhere you say "over" to "more than".
Take out "from scratch in order"
Be consistent with your number formatting - spell out anything under 10.
Your last M&A bullet seems a little out of place.
Just a comment but you might want to add a space before and after the dashes in your dates.
Be consistent with your periods. You end some bullets with them and don't with others.
Your summary sentence for your law firm experience needs work. You have a fragmented sentence in there.
Third Attorney bullet needs work. Ongoing is one word. Take out "the" before attorneys.
I think you can take out "Cincinnati, Ohio based" in your summary sentence since you have your location on there.
Take out "those states'"
Second bullet doesn't work.
Redo your skills/activities section. Any foreign language skills? Interests? What did you do for your 2010 summer? If you had leadership in Kappa Sig, you need to expand on it because your resume is too bare bones for now.
Make these corrections and go from there. You will still have work to do but it will be an improvement. You need to be using your OH boutique network to try to get in somewhere. Where are you based out of now? I assume Cincy. Go Cocks.
I appreciate the help, I will upload a revised version later tonight.
Please keep the help coming. Any ideas on other things i could add in there to fill up some of the white space, I have a little bit of leadership experience and a little bit of volunteer experience but not really enough to fill up an entire category. Could i put in school projects, further details of previous jobs, any other ideas?
Thanks
how about you explain your leadership/volunteer experience? start from there. leadership is definitely something you wanna throw in. school projects, definitely. more details on the job, probably not since you already have lots of bullets on those.
Would you mind PM'ing me regarding what firm you are working at in Cincy? If not it's cool, just wondering as I'm a history/econ major at UC.
cmon man...attention to detail.
btw, I would also start the bullet points in past tense. Instead of create or draft, I would write created or drafted. After all, it did happen in the past...
Once again thanks for the advice, I just updated the link to a second draft. Any input on what I still can change would be greatly appreciated
Going to recommend you use the M&I format because honestly Moore School's format sucks.
I think that's close to as good as you're going to get right now honestly. Good luck.
Thanks, sounds like I'm going to need it. Anyone else have anything that they think I should try and highlight a little more? Ideas of things I could get involved with now that may add something to my resume to make me more appealing?
I'm a Senior so I'm not exactly qualified to critique this but ... did you really create complex financial models? If you did great, but I feel like an interviewer might fuck you over with modeling related technicals or shit like that.
Also I'm a Republican too, but with the current political division - if the HR/Interviewer is a Democrat you could be in trouble.
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