Rip my resume into tiny bits!

Have a couple of things you might want to have a think about:

Content

• I would add more specifics on your education at non-target, i.e. grades, honours, thesis, scholarship etc. Whatever adds more substance to it
• Would not note that you shadowed the office manager at the offshore bank and try to polish that point up a bit. I'm not sure what exactly you did at the bank but based on the second bullet I am sure you can twist it a bit more interesting than just administrative support
• Am not sure whether you should include your bar/restaurant stint, especially because it was only for a month. Others may correct me if I'm wrong but it does not seem like this is something of interest for an IB position. Also, your point about cross-selling and cultivating repeat business comes off way too cheesy imo
• Not sure what your 'diversity' experience under professional development actually entails, but in this way it comes across as if you took a course to help you during an interview. Would personally leave it out or phrase it differently as it would show the interviewer that you did some course just to be better in an interview rather than doing something for your actual personal development
• Would include Club Tennis under other skills & interests, unless you have done something more than just play tennis, like coach a team
• Add English as a language
• Adventure as an interest? Write down something tangible, like rock climbing or whatever you do to be adventurous
• You generally explain your experience quite well, but sometimes you are still a bit vague. I.e. under finance and investment club 'due to the nature of the product', what does that refer to? Might as well leave it out because it does not relate to what you have done. Also the undervalued by 20% point is a bit irrelevant. Try to focus more on what you have actually done and learned

Formatting

• Align everything on the left side (i.e. 'Leader' under 'Case Competition' is more to the right. Also align everything on the right side. In general, check your alignment everywhere (i..e second bullet under bar and restaurant is not aligned)
• More space between the bullet and start of sentence
• Remove the comma after things like 'Participants' and 'Waiter/Server' and make sure it all has the same formatting (either all italics or all normal)
• Add a white line before other skills & interests

In general, I think you did a good job at summarising your prior experience and showing the interviewer what you did. I do think you could try to make it even more specific, i.e. explain what your investment recommendation (finance and investment club) is based on and include other specifics. I'm sure you did industry research, valuation, benchmarked against competitors, stock price analysis and much more

Keep it up man! Happy to have a look at a second version.

What are your other work experiences? Might be useful to add if you have learned useful skills