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You should try to quantify what you did
^ I definitely suggest doing this. You say you're a part of a college investment fund that outperforms the S&P 500 - by how much? Whether its your finance-related internship or job experience somewhere else, try to insert actual, quantifiable figures that would give a recruiter a sense that you had tangible results that you can talk about. So try and support your work with raw numbers because bankers like that.
Also, I personally don't think having the parenthesis with (pivot tables, what-if-analysis, etc.) is necessary. Just have "Microsoft Excel" or "Proficiency in Excel" should be enough. For activities, I think you should list some organizations or clubs that you're a part of.
bump
Just FYI, blacking out your information doesn't make it inaccessible. You should remove your personal info entirely.
Thanks- I guess locking it didn't work. Do you have any advice for the actual resume now?
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