Sophomore Semi-Target Resume. Feedback is Welcome.

Hi guys, I posted my resume for critique about a month ago and surprisingly it didn't get too many harsh criticisms.

Since then, I've changed some details, minor formatting errors and updated the descriptions of each position.

I welcome any and all feedback. Be as mean or as nice about it as you want. Thanks.

http://www.razume.com/documents/29813

~ GrandJury

5 Comments
 

-Get rid of the periods after each sentence -Multi-Million what? Add dollar I'm assuming (under your second entry) -"Oversaw the chapter recruitment process and helped implemented" Sounds weird, try "helped implement" -Add an "ed" after conflict "who project themselves in a behavior that conflict(ed) with..." -The outward bound leadership program sounds very interesting, maybe try putting that first in your leadership section

 
Best Response
Waymon3x6-Get rid of the periods after each sentence -Multi-Million what? Add dollar I'm assuming (under your second entry) -"Oversaw the chapter recruitment process and helped implemented" Sounds weird, try "helped implement" -Add an "ed" after conflict "who project themselves in a behavior that conflict(ed) with..." -The outward bound leadership program sounds very interesting, maybe try putting that first in your leadership section
Periods after the descriptions of the work & leadership experience? Changed the rest and also added more detail to the Outward Bound experience.

Thanks for the feedback.

BTbankerYour GPA is the only thing holding you back.
Yeah I realize that. I was a chemical engineer my freshman year, and a combination of uninteresting hard classes and just not transitioning well to college left me below a 2.8. Since then I've managed to get it up to a semi-respectable level, but I still need a lot of work to do concerning my GPA.

Do you think my work experience stands out? I'm definitely aiming to do IBD recruitment next year, so I'm trying to bolster my work experience in the meantime. I'll either be accepting an offer for PWM with MS or an insurance sales internship at a large insurance broker company.

 

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