Jul 24, 2013
6 Comments
 
SonnyZH's picture
Neanderthal HF
13y
Avon Barksdale

also chill with the caps. for me personally it makes me want to not read your post at all

Totally dawg.

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[quote]The HBS guys have MAD SWAGGER. They frequently wear their class jackets to boston bars, strutting and acting like they own the joint. They just ooze success, confidence, swagger, basically attributes of alpha males.[/quote]
 
mb666 - Certified Professional
Neanderthal VC
13y
Best Response
  • EXTRACIRRICULAR is misspelled
  • Generally limit bullet points to 1 line (extracurriculars should def be no more than 1 line)
  • Cut down on bullet points (these are internships)
  • "Created and built" 50-75 is repetitive... why not "Built x slides"?... Less is more... you're too verbose
  • You forgot a , after Bloomberg
  • Remove interests, especially magic
  • You overuse ;
  • Write out junior (as opposed to jr.)
  • Fix your dates... graduation Expected May 2014... Oil internship (Summer 2012, September - December 2012, etc.)
  • Improve wording for bullet points (e.g. "Conducted research on equities, bonds, & financial markets while participating in monthly team meetings"... equities and bonds are financial markets so why not just "conducted research on equity and debt markets... also you combined past tense with current (conducted research/participating) so simplify it. Conducted research on equity and debt markets and participated in monthly [investment analysis] meetings (if in the past).
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Authored by: Certified Venture Capital Professional - 1st Year AssociateCertified Venture Capital Pro
 
Fingerling Potatoes - Certified Professional
King Kong CO
13y

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Authored by: Certified Consulting Professional - ConsultantCertified Consulting Pro

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