36 Comments
 
BTbankerHa. The only women at my firm are subordinates... I'm an intern.
You can always suck a cock, I guess.
BTbankerAll I ask of Consuela is to keep the lemon Pledge flowin'.
That's a racist, bullshit comment. Grow up.
 

Ive hooked up with a girl at my school because I knew her dad was the head of Public finance at a large MM firm. Got the interview but realized I didn't want to go into public finance and there were no off cycle M&A spots open. She wasnt THAT bad. like a 5.5. She also walked with a limp because of a horse racing accident so she kid of looked like a retarded horse. So sad.. but true story.

 

lol same but my gurl had an accident in a poke-battle (rhydon used takedown but hit her leg instead lol dun ask) and she ended up having to limp around :(

also knew someone who acidentally got hit by a zubat's confuse ray and thus was rendered retarted for at least a month ...was a lvl 49 zubat so understandable

"so i herd u liek mudkipz" - sum kid "I'd watergun the **** outta that." - Kassad
 
mudkipz

lol same but my gurl had an accident in a poke-battle (rhydon used takedown but hit her leg instead lol dun ask) and she ended up having to limp around :(

also knew someone who acidentally got hit by a zubat's confuse ray and thus was rendered retarted for at least a month ...was a lvl 49 zubat so understandable

As someone who grew up in the mid-90s, I found this surprisingly funny. I chuckled

 

My favorite is to bend him over his desk

Either you sling crack rock or you got a wicked jump shot

-------------- Either you sling crack rock or you got a wicked jump shot
 
When your in a bind do whats right....pull out your c*ck. Works with both banking sexes.

So what do you do? -I work for an investment banking firm. Oh okay; you are like my brother, he works for Edward Jones. -No, a college degree is required in my profession

Reality hits you hard, bro...
 
Also you could slip him/her some rufenol, knock her up (get knocked up), DNA test the kid and blackmail, blackmail, blackmail

So what do you do? -I work for an investment banking firm. Oh okay; you are like my brother, he works for Edward Jones. -No, a college degree is required in my profession

Reality hits you hard, bro...
 

Walk into their office and say, "Everyday for the last year you have pushed my shit in, HARD... So its time for me to return the favor."

 

Tenetur quia aliquam ullam molestiae vero optio omnis. Eum et nihil vitae. Provident molestias velit voluptates quo. Unde laborum vero necessitatibus eveniet magnam ratione commodi. Sunt et aliquam ipsam praesentium. Delectus totam aut nihil animi est repudiandae.

Career Advancement Opportunities

July 2026 Investment Banking

  • Evercore 01 99.4%
  • Moelis & Company 01 98.9%
  • JPMorgan 01 98.3%
  • Guggenheim Partners 01 97.7%
  • Morgan Stanley 07 97.1%

Overall Employee Satisfaction

July 2026 Investment Banking

  • Moelis & Company No 99.4%
  • Morgan Stanley 02 98.9%
  • Evercore 01 98.3%
  • BMO Capital Markets 12 97.7%
  • Banco Santander 01 97.1%

Professional Growth Opportunities

July 2026 Investment Banking

  • Evercore 01 99.4%
  • Moelis & Company 01 98.9%
  • Morgan Stanley 06 98.3%
  • Goldman Sachs 01 97.7%
  • JPMorgan 01 97.1%

Total Avg Compensation

July 2026 Investment Banking

  • Vice President (15) $434
  • Associates (46) $258
  • 3rd+ Year Analyst (8) $210
  • 2nd Year Analyst (22) $179
  • Intern/Summer Associate (13) $156
  • 1st Year Analyst (79) $150
  • Intern/Summer Analyst (73) $101
notes
16 IB Interviews Notes

“... there’s no excuse to not take advantage of the resources out there available to you. Best value for your $ are the...”

Leaderboard

1
redever's picture
redever
99.2
2
Secyh62's picture
Secyh62
99.0
3
BankonBanking's picture
BankonBanking
99.0
4
kanon's picture
kanon
99.0
5
DrApeman's picture
DrApeman
98.9
6
GameTheory's picture
GameTheory
98.9
7
dosk17's picture
dosk17
98.9
8
CompBanker's picture
CompBanker
98.9
9
Betsy Massar's picture
Betsy Massar
98.9
10
Mimbs's picture
Mimbs
98.8
success
From 10 rejections to 1 dream investment banking internship

“... I believe it was the single biggest reason why I ended up with an offer...”