Children and Demanding Careers

CorneliusLux's picture
Rank: Baboon | banana points 119

The more I look around, the more I realize I'm an anomaly in private equity. I'm married, in my late 20s and have two kids below the age of two. I'm managing the work hours and traveling quite well, but I was wondering if others on here are in a similar situation and how you guys manage the demanding schedule.

Essentially, I work 12-13h at the office (typically 6ish to 7ish) before getting home, taking care of the kids for a little bit and then working an extra few hours if needed. I've come to terms with sacrificing sleep by getting up very early so that I can see my kids at tonight, something I wouldn't give up for any amount of money (which is in turn something that my 22 year old self would have ever said)

Anybody else in a similar situation? If so, what's your routine? Do you manage to fit hobbies in there or the schedule's too tight? How does the wife/gf/husband/boyfriend deal with your career choice given that kids are in the mix?

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Comments (20)

Nov 6, 2018

Early 30's IBD with 2 year old daughter here. My wife works so our schedule is that I take care of the morning shift and drive the toddler to day care ~8-8:30, my wife picks her up at 5-5:30 and takes the evening shift / dinner / sleep. I work fairly late and live really far away right now so can't make it back for the evening, but trying to buy a place that's very close to work so that daddy can be home for dinner and I have the flexibility to bounce back to the office as needed. On Sat/Sun I try to block out her awake times to be with her, and work remotely during her nap and go to work in the evening after she's asleep from ~8 PM-whenever.

Keen WSO readers w/o kids will notice that there is no personal time slotted...

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Funniest
Nov 6, 2018
Synergy_or_Syzygy:

Early 30's IBD with 2 year old daughter here. My wife works so our schedule is that I take care of the morning shift and drive the toddler to day care ~8-8:30, my wife picks her up at 5-5:30 and takes the evening shift / dinner / sleep. I work fairly late and live really far away right now so can't make it back for the evening, but trying to buy a place that's very close to work so that daddy can be home for dinner and I have the flexibility to bounce back to the office as needed. On Sat/Sun I try to block out her awake times to be with her, and work remotely during her nap and go to work in the evening after she's asleep from ~8 PM-whenever.

Keen WSO readers w/o kids will notice that there is no personal time slotted...

I bet you work your analysts like hell

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Nov 6, 2018

Hard for me to answer that question! Well, I do everything in my physical and mental capacity to avoid that. There are a lot of days where I'm working alongside the Analyst until 2 AM, then I have to get up at 6 to be a dad and commute to work while my Analyst gets 2 more hours of sleep... We probably work a similar amount of hours or at least a toss-up, I can cover on Saturdays for example while they cover me Sunday afternoon, then I cover on Sunday night, etc. I respect our Analysts a lot and hope they come away from their experience not feeling like their Associate's life circumstances messed them up.

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Nov 9, 2018

There's really only one bank in LA that treats their analysts so well hahaha...

Nov 6, 2018

Great stuff. You're definitely living a more extreme version of my schedule. Reminds me of my time in M&A, when my first child wouldn't even let me hold him on weekends cause he didn't know who I was. Not something I'd go back to for any amount of money.

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Nov 6, 2018

wow this is incredibly fucked. Thats scary shit

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Nov 6, 2018

No joke, it kills you. Kids change your perspective on everything, but that just destroyed me for a long while.

Nov 7, 2018

Nightmare fuel... well, props to you, fellow Dad. Keep on keeping on.

Nov 12, 2018
Synergy_or_Syzygy:

and go to work in the evening after she's asleep from ~8 PM-whenever.

By go to work do you mean go TO work as in go to the office or remote work?

Nov 12, 2018

Depends on how much time needed, if it's a grind then have to be in the office to be efficient. If it's going to take the same time as commute to get done, then it makes more sense to just log in remotely.

Nov 6, 2018

Thanks for posting this. Even as a first year analyst, this sits in the back of my mind and kinda freaks me out sometimes.

Nov 6, 2018

Simple fix. Dont have kids.

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Nov 6, 2018

The sad part is that you're probably being serious. Mentioning the fact that I'm a dad in interviews has actually helped me in all industries aside from IB. Senior PE professionals tend to have kids, meaning I was likely the only one they'd come across in a while that could actually joke about random dad stuff with during interviews, immediately making me stand out.

I had to go into a final round less than 12h after my second kid was born and I got the offer. The conversation changed the second that they realized I was coming back from the hospital.

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Nov 12, 2018

The more you post on this site the more and more I think you might be autistic.

Nov 12, 2018

Cool...? I don't care abut your opinions...?

Most Helpful
Nov 8, 2018

Early 30s sell side banker here and have a 3 year old at home. I do my best with this whole work life balance thing where I work more or less 12 hour days in the office, come home for dinner, spend some time chatting with my wife about our days, and then log back in to work till midnight or 1am. I wake up early to walk my kid to school and then in the office by 8am.

On weekends I spend the sunlight hours with my family. If nothing is live I'll spend the night watching movies or T.V. and if I have work I'll spend my saturday night logged in from home.

The area that takes a hit is obivously my sleep and social hang outs with my single or friends without kids. I do see them sometimes but generally I wouldn't trade a night out with them for even spending a few minutes with my kid without a hangover next day. I never I thought I would have said that but I just love hanging out with my family (man life changes such in only a few years!!!!).

I can function completely well on 5-6 hours of sleep a night on a regular basis and on 4 hours or less for no more than 3 or 4 days straight before my brain just goes to mush.

The key for me is I have an incredible wife (full time mom) who is literally my soul mate and on the same page (mostly atleast...) that sometimes the job must come first when we are deep into a live transaction.

I am a big hiker and have trekked all around the world pre-baby days and have not done a major hike since my kid was born but I do fit in day treks on weekends but all my other activities and hobbies have gone by the way side as there just so many hours in a day and you have to sacrafice somewhere.

Life is definitely hard but I make a huge effort to be the best dad I can be. I love being a dad but I am also one of the few people on the sell side that actually like my job and see myself as a career banker.

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Nov 9, 2018

I see myself in a lot of what you wrote. I barely go out with friends because it would mean spending the little time I have away from my family.

Thanks for sharing, really appreciated!

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Nov 9, 2018

+1 for the story and +1 for reminding me of pre-baby days in Wanchai

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Nov 10, 2018

Honest question, is it worth it?

I have a LT significant other that I plan to marry, but I worry a lot about how I will balance career, family, and having any time for myself... I already never see my friends and know that will only get worse with more responsibilities added in

Nov 10, 2018