Dear Mr. Monkey,
I am interning right now at a small investment boutique in my hometown doing some value-adding work. However, I want to work at Goldman Sachs so I decided to start networking hard with a few MDs I cold called.
I found an alumni's profile on linkedin, but as I learned from WSO you should try to turn networking into more personal relationships and talk about your own lives instead of work. So, I decided to add the MD on Facebook and cold facebook messengerd him.
Now here is the issue: I accidentally liked not one but TWO pictures of his kids on his fb wall. I can see that he saw my message on messenger because it says "Read at 12:30" but he hasn't responded in over 2 days. Here is my question: what should I do next? Send him another message on facebook or maybe find his number and cold call him? Thanks
Hah this one actually gave me a laugh.
Holy shit. Don't message that guy again. Don't ever message anyone on Facebook seeking professional relationships. It's way over the line.
Clearly you have no clue as how to network effectively and land GS TMT. You need to seek PERSONNAL relationships....kids nowadays have no clue about common sense and personal boundaries
This a troll post... right? Please.
Find the MD's address and show up at his front door. PM me for tips on dodging security; I've done this many times before.
UPDATE Thanks for the suggestions, decided to go with the personal approach again. Just slid in the MDs Instagram DMs, now awaiting response.
I have a hard time throwing monkey shits at good trolls
Don't fuck around. Figure out where his kids go to school, call the school posing as the kids pediatrician, get patched through to the MD's secretary, use your little girl voice, badabing badaboom
This is sensational
love the hustle.
I want to see a post from someone claiming to be a Wall Street hopeful working his way through school as a cabana boy, who overhears some cougars talking, discovers their husbands are MDs at Goldmans, and wants to know whether he should hit one with a view to sleeping with her and networking his way into an internship. His dilemma should be which one to hit on - the attractive cougar whose husband works in middle office, or the crusty one who is married to a BSD in Goldmans TMT.
I would actually give him a cold visit if you're able to get a hold of his personal address. The goal is to be as personal as possible, remember, there is no line you can't cross here.
Honestly I would try and network with him through his kids. Most businessmen are family men first and foremost and if the family approves, the MD will be powerless to refuse.
Some ideas:
*If he has a daughter age 16 and up, invite her to a nice dinner. Girls love being treated like princesses.
*If he has a son at least 14, take him out to a cool new restaurant/bar concept like Twin Peaks. Boys that age love to eat.
UPDATE: I received a letter from his attorneys concerning a restraining order or something like that. I think that means an offer and GS may be trying to restrain me in the firm. Does anyone have experience with these orders? How long do I have to accept the order?
This is all a standard part of the recruiting process. It's like when you're pursuing a girl and she does the same - it's just playing hard to get and you shouldn't take "no" or "stop" for an answer in this situation either. What's important here is to not let off the gas. This is a test of your resolve. Only the 1% get jobs on Wall Street.
Demonstrate your passion for finance and an old school grind-it-out mentality. Kill 2 birds with 1 stone by:
a) hand writing a DCF with 10 year (!) projections for your favorite co. on legal pad paper (plz color code w/ markers for calculations vs. assumptions) b) cold mailing it to his home address
Watch the spoils of your passion for finance roll in. Just get the fucking assumptions right.
THIS POST MADE MY NIGHT
I recommend the DENNIS system for this situation. He will want you to work for GS more than he ever imagined was possible. Liking Facebook pictures isn't exactly demonstrating value though, so show up at as many volunteering events as possible at his kids schools. This will demonstrate your work ethic as well as your care for the community. Maybe also try slashing the tires of the cars in his driveway. Cruise by the morning after when everyone has to get to school/work and offer rides. They will be dependent on you for rides as long as you keep slashing tires, offering potentially endless networking opportunities with this MD.
This is pure gold.
Add me on Snapchat, I'd be more than happy to schedule some time to discuss this via SnapStory.
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