Comments (67)

 
  • Anonymous Monkey's picture
  • Anonymous Monkey
  • Rank: Chimp
May 18, 2006 - 11:42am

MD: Yes. If you can deal with the cottage cheese, why not? she probably has a nice Type-A personality so you know she will be great in bed (that being one of her only outlets to "loose control")... but be warned, you might come into work with bite marks all over your neck. then again, that might just help you win a big sexual harrassment lawsuit.

VP: probably not. Not senior enough to help "bring you along" and still has huge downside risk

Associate: Never. As soon as you stop returing her late night booty calls she claims to your MD and VP that you aren't a "team player."

Fellow Analyst: Always. The great part is that in all likelihood, both of you understand that you don't really find the otehr person attractive. When you're both in the office for 100+ hrs a week, anything will do

 
Jan 9, 2014 - 1:16pm

null:

MD: Yes. If you can deal with the cottage cheese, why not? she probably has a nice Type-A personality so you know she will be great in bed (that being one of her only outlets to "loose control")... but be warned, you might come into work with bite marks all over your neck. then again, that might just help you win a big sexual harrassment lawsuit.

VP: probably not. Not senior enough to help "bring you along" and still has huge downside risk

Associate: Never. As soon as you stop returing her late night booty calls she claims to your MD and VP that you aren't a "team player."

Fellow Analyst: Always. The great part is that in all likelihood, both of you understand that you don't really find the other person attractive. When you're both in the office for 100+ hrs a week, anything will do

This is a decent breakdown, however, in my opinion, at the "Fellow Analyst" level it just isn't there /doesn't happen. Two reasons out of many:

1. No time for it.
2. Women date up, generally speaking, and especially money focused biatches working in banking would much rather snatch up a guy from the upper level echelons.

Winners bring a bigger bag than you do. I have a degree in meritocracy.
 
May 19, 2006 - 12:59am

you're going to want to tell everyone you know that you're hooking up with the cute girl 4 cubes away but you. you can tell everyone you want - JUST NOT ANYBODY AT THE COMPANY!! trust me, working as hard as we all do, a little slice of gossip might be the most exciting thing i've heard all week that's not work related. and word DOES get around to your seniors/ etc. ESPECIALLY if the girl is cute and they're also working long hours, they're going to be resentful that you (the newest little bitch) is falling asleep to a good lay after a hard day's work that they should have. they fork out hundreds to hit the chic bars to buy girls drinks and hit the strip clubs to no avail and you steal the new batch of cookies from THEIR kitchen. trust me, if word gets out and bonus time is right around the corner, your bosses aren't gonna feel that extra sorry for your pain/ "i.e. hard work" and you might see a 5-10k less bonus than you would have. happened to a coworker of mine last year.

 
Jan 9, 2014 - 1:21pm

date = drama

fun = fun

someone is bound to find out and they might be jealous and start crap. also it's going to be kinda awkward when other people become the third wheel in the office, I really hate being third wheel between some lovey dovey couple, even among friends. also if the relationship explodes, you're going to have a lot of trouble on ye hands and then you will need shiatsu 5 times a day instead of 2 times.

========================================= We are excited to formally extend to you an offer to join Bank of Ameria
 
Jan 9, 2014 - 1:33pm

It happened a lot on my training program. If you go for someone in a different division it won't be an issue as you'll barely see anyone outside of your group once you start on the desk. So if you're in IBD go for an S&T person. And don't tell anyone you work with that you're seeing someone else at the bank - they don't need to know that.

If you work for a large IB it's unreasonable to write off everyone who works at that company, there might be someone good for you there and as long as they're not in your business area it will have zero impact on you career. Don't compromise your work but at the end of the day you're still human.

 
Jan 9, 2014 - 1:45pm

when i was on my 6 week training with the bank there were so many hook ups going on it was crazy... so it's not as umcommon as you may think.
6 weeks is a long time, and after about a week of being with the same people in the same room - people get bored and start to look for ways to entertain themselves. even those people who had a bf/gf were jumping on the bandwagon... it was so weird.
there was a little drama but we're all adults and handled it with professionalism.

 
Jan 9, 2014 - 1:47pm

We were all in the same hotel for 6 weeks straight and had guys/girls staying right next door/ on the same floor. Our training was also held in the hotel - so it was like you take an elevator down to class and run into people all hours of the day and night.
And when the weekends came - OMG watch out. you would randomly run into people hooking up in an elevator or on the street...
Definitely a once in a lifetime experience and wouldn't take it back for anything!

 
May 23, 2006 - 1:16pm

i say go for it, as long as you're pretty sure she won't go psycho on you when she hears about you with another girl. there needs to be some communication and an understanding UP FRONT. and it will get around the office, so don't even bother trying to cover it up...

 
Jan 9, 2014 - 1:50pm

Sweaty Office Romance (Originally Posted: 08/06/2016)

I'm looking for advice from other fellow corporate degenerates like myself (preferably more experienced ones). I've been working as an entry-level analyst at a mid-cap hard-money lender in LA for two months now. I like the job, and I'm not looking to move up the ladder much while I'm still in law school, so I'm just taking it easy for now. That said, I need some excitement in my life. The office hottie seems to have a thing for me. Not gonna lie, I have a thing for her too, though I haven't shown it. Considering I've been on a dry spell for months now, it's a fucking miracle I haven't given in to the temptation yet. But at this point, contrary to all the advice I've gotten, I really wanna shit where I eat (that sounded better in my head).

This post is strictly prompting advice from those experienced in office flings. Is it a good idea? Is it a bad idea? If the former, how should I go about it? If the latter, what is the proper way to make a bad decision? Feel free to tear me a new one. I have thick skin.

Thanks in advance.

 
May 24, 2006 - 8:19pm

just don't get caught in the conference room or in the elevator -- i heard 2 analysts got fired for hooking up...beware of cameras cameras cameras

Array
 
May 30, 2006 - 5:57pm

I dunno how things were for anyone else when they were in college, but I never ever got involved with anyone on the same floor. I tried to avoid people in the same building as much as I could. Might want to consider the same stance in this matter also. Sure its fun and convenient, but if things start to go sour, you won't want to see that person every single day.

 
Jun 12, 2006 - 2:38pm

was sent this article from a friend. pretty much if you're ugly and she is hot, and you are wondering how you got her, then she doesn't like you. she likes your banker's salary. and face it, if your bonus dips in the next few weeks, she will dump you.....

    Getting hitched... and announcing it obnoxiously in the

NYT

            BY JULIA ALLISON

            Special to amNewYork



            There are two types of women in this city: those who

adore The New York Times weddings announcements and hope they'll be
featured, and those who think such announcements are insufferable,
archaic and pretentious ... and hope they'll be featured.

            I'm the latter.

            Either way, come Sunday morning, we all stare

bleary-eyed at the back of the Style section, fixated for an
embarrassing length of time on what David Brooks once called "The
Mergers and Acquisitions page."

            But aimless scanning is for amateurs - pros (such as

myself) conduct a truly comprehensive analysis, meticulously filtering
the announcements for socioeconomic research and recreational mockery.
After all, until the Times starts printing divorce notices, there's
nothing more captivating than the compressed 20-line resumes of our
city's newest pseudo-aristocratic couples.

            As a public service, I'm providing the following

checklist in hopes that your next Weddings read is infinitely more
satisfying.

            To set proper mood, obtain coffee saturated with

Splenda, kick boyfriend out of room, turn cell phone to silent. Curl up
on couch, locate Style section, unfold to last page. Curse newsprint for
turning your new manicure black. Do not get distracted by large color
picture in "Vows" section! You have serious work to do. Start at first
announcement and ...

            1) Scrutinize photo.
            a. Weigh couples' respective attractiveness. Note if

she's hot and he's not. Wonder how he landed her. Check profession to
confirm suspicions (yep, "generational wealth").

            b. If only bride photo is provided, assume groom is

ugly. Chortle impolitely.

            c. Ignore mentions with no photo. Boring!

            2) Check ages.
            a. Note large numerical differences. Raise eyebrows.

Cluck like a yenta.

            b. Coo at geezers. Adorable! Visualize them consummating

marriage. Less adorable!

            c. Embrace "Preemptive Schadenfreude." Remember that

most irritatingly thin 24-year-olds marrying i-bankers will be hawking
their 3-carat engagement ring to pay for a divorce lawyer in less than
seven years - tops.

            3) Inspect educational background.
            a. Did they meet at Yale? Barf. Hope their kids get

rejected.

            b. Feel mildly satisfied to read that city college guy

tied knot with Columbia University girl.

            c. Note proliferation of law degrees. Become concerned

that law degree is prerequisite for New York marriage. Make mental note
to sign up for LSAT.

            d. Observe how many married college sweethearts. Think

about own college sweetheart. Be very glad you didn't marry him.

            4) Analyze occupations.
            a. Note mentions that say "bride was at BLANK job until

last month." Read as "bride gleefully quit crap job after finally
landing banker/lawyer/exec with bonus large enough to support her dreams
of one day owning Bugaboo Frog stroller."

            b. Visit Bugaboo Frog website. Pick out color and model.


            c. Think also that, to be fair, "Coordinated enormous,

exorbitant, exhausting wedding while fending off neurotic future
mother-in-law" should really go on one's resume. In bold.

            5) Think listing parental professions bizarrely

anachronistic.
a. Almost expect to read: "bride and groom are of good
stock."

            b. Look at top of page to check year; reassure yourself

it's not 1955.

            c. Actually read recently: "bridegroom is descendent of

Hendrick Hendricksen Kip, who settled in the 17th century in New York in
the area now known as Kips Bay." Think to self, "seriously? They REALLY
put that in their wedding announcement??" Wonder if groom went around
bragging about that when he was younger. Hope groom got beat up.

            6) Seek out mentions of divorce.
            a. Shake head judgmentally at announcements explicitly

stating demise of bride or groom's first marriage. Psychoanalyze. Did he
drink? Did she cheat? Is he gay? Refer to old "Days of Our Lives" plots
for inspiration.

            b. Read that "groom's four previous marriages ended in

divorce." Wonder if bride has therapist. Wonder if bride IS therapist.
Hope guests kept receipts.

            7) Fantasize about own announcement.
            a. Decide to have glamour shot taken, change alma mater

to Ivy League, subtract four years from age and add law degree from
Princeton. Remember Princeton doesn't have law school. Oops.

            b. Think to self that self needs to get a life.

            c. Vow to read business section from now on.

            At least Julia doesn't read the obits! Email

[email protected]

 
  • Anonymous Monkey's picture
  • Anonymous Monkey
  • Rank: Chimp
Jul 22, 2006 - 8:05pm

I say go for it...probably best to just do a fellow analyst. To echo some of the sentiments of this board, remember to keep quiet. I fucked a fellow analyst at the company offsite and although admittedly she was not the hottest chick in the world all that pent up frustration made for some pretty intense sex. We both made sure not to tell anyone and everything has been smooth sailing. Granted she is in a different office so that does create some separation.

 
Jan 9, 2014 - 1:15pm

ZiggyMon:

Its not worth it, since you might end up messing your future at this company. Or at least you won't be comfortable at work with her presence around you.

Good point. Don't mess up work with romance.

I might also add that higher levels -Directors or MDs, generally speaking, have relationships with people that work outside their industry.

Winners bring a bigger bag than you do. I have a degree in meritocracy.
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