Destroy my resume so bad that I don't even send my resume

Destroy my resume and make me regret ever applying to schools. I WANT ALL OPINIONS GOOD OR BAD. Can't get better without criticism to please let me know. And yes I am getting it reviewed by WSO
Edit: Thank you all for your help/input

 

Look pretty good, solid format and clear outline of activities. Only thing; it makes you seen like a bit of a finance nerd. If you can add some sports, languages, travel or other non-finance awards/interests and quantify them e.g. business proficient in X languages, travelled to XX countries or placed XX in so and so sports competition it will add value to the CV.

 
Most Helpful

First of all, this thing is fucking hideous. I would rather explore the inside of a donkeys ass than have to look at this thing for my than 5 seconds.

Also, provide more color on the details of your positions. I want statistics, hard coded numbers. What projects specific projects did you work on? We all know you "analyzed," but what exactly did you analyze?

Independent investor shouldn't take up more space than any of your actual job experiences. Take the specific equities off there, I feel like this is a stock pitch, not an actual learning experience. What did you learn? How did you learn? What the biggest mistake you learned from?

Interest in business movies? There called movies for a reason. BIG stretch. Watching "Margin Call" wont educate you in anything other than ruthlessness. "Wall Street" wont provide you with any M&A or IB info other than remember the quote, "Blue horseshoe loves Anacott Steel." Pull your head out of your ass and get a new hobby, that doesnt involve taking notes on "The Big Short."

In all seriousness, you wont be taken serious with independent investor and business movies on your resume. Putting your own money into the market is just a microcosm on the tip of the iceberg. If you do that, you are opening yourself of to being asked about it in an interview and that could go astray very quickly.

Driving is an interest?? C'mon, even Genghis Khan could've came up with something better, and his only interest was brutality. You would be better off putting a sport or fuck it, throw math olympiad or econophysics on there /s.

TLDR - If you dont take yourself serious, no one will. Start to really find things that you enjoy because your life seems pretty boring. You want to stand out, because the field out there is rough. Trust me.

"He who makes a beast of himself gets rid of the pain of being a man" - Samuel Johnson
 

Only thing I might add, is that you have a lot of bullets on your resume that say things like "researched potential investments" or "conducted stock pitches". Did any of your investment ideas ever get implemented? If so, it might be good to say something like "Lead research initiative on $100,000 worth of placed equity investments". Just claiming that you did a bunch of analysis without having any specific numbers or transactions to back it up sometimes looks like BS.

 

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