DOUSING NONTARGET STUDENTS IN OLIVE OIL???

Hi fellow monkeys,
As you know, business is a ZERO SUM GAME where you need to dominate and innovate and DISRUPT the STATUS QUO. As such, we need to be as RUTHLESS and PRODUCTIVE as possible. As a firm believer in SURVIVAL OF THE FITTEST, I have arranged for a naked jousting match to the death between NONTARGET students, with the winner getting an interview for GOLDMAN SACHS. Think MARCH MADNESS meets the IDES OF MARCH. My question for you all is, which OLIVE OIL should I lather their naked bodies in? Should it be GREEK, like the EUROZONE's downfall? Or should it be EXTRA VIRGIN, like @theaccountingmajor" ? Thanks for the advice! Also if you all know any good carpet cleaning services in Midtown please let me know.