FB & instagram

I have a lot of friends on FB and instagram who are showing off. Somebody always comes up with a "going to Mallorca;) sunshine beachhhh" post or a body shot with a relatively expensive watch on their arms, stuff like this (note ALL this was brought by their parents, they are in a lucky situation, and they are not necessarily rich, they just want to show off that how "good it is" for them). I think this is pure arrogance anyway, but OK moving on.

Now, my situation (both in life and money aspect) has changed a lot (I'm way past these people "level") recently and most of these people were actually the ones who also laughed at my dreams through high school, or who just looked down upon people (me included). So now that the tables turned I have this feeling that now it's time for me to start rubbing my success into their faces.

At the same time I really don't want to be like them (aka posting such stuff), as I also understand that I am in kind of a lucky situation as well - my situation changed because I worked hard, yes, but if I came from a really poor family background (and not an average one) most certainly I wouldn't be in as prosperus situation as now I am in.

I'm going to get some shit for this (3rd world problem I know) but I have been thinking about this for some time; I'd appreciate your insight.

Thanks.

 
jack3d:

So now that the tables turned I have this feeling that now it's time for me to start rubbing my success into their faces.

Don't do this. If you are on top, you'll look a lot bigger if they happen to find out through word of mouth or stumble across your success on their own. Don't rub it in their face, or you'll be just like one of them.

 
Waymon3x6:
jack3d:

So now that the tables turned I have this feeling that now it's time for me to start rubbing my success into their faces.

Don't do this. If you are on top, you'll look a lot bigger if they happen to find out through word of mouth or stumble across your success on their own. Don't rub it in their face, or you'll be just like one of them.

I agree. If you must rub it in der faces, show dem how lucky you are to have so many hot GFs.

[quote=Matrick][in reply to Tony Snark"]Why aren't you blogging for WSO and become the date doctor for WSO? There seems to be demand. [/quote] [quote=BatMasterson][in reply to Tony Snark's dating tip] Sensible advice.[/quote]
 
Waymon3x6:
jack3d:

So now that the tables turned I have this feeling that now it's time for me to start rubbing my success into their faces.

Don't do this. If you are on top, you'll look a lot bigger if they happen to find out through word of mouth or stumble across your success on their own. Don't rub it in their face, or you'll be just like one of them.

This 100%. No-one is more powerful than the guy sitting in the corner with dignity, listening to the pretenders talking about their 'extravagant' vacations, all the while knowing his experiences are on a different level.

 
  1. It sounds like you have some real douchebag friends. These are not the kind of people you want to associate with. Find new friends.

  2. Rubbing money/success in anyone's face - whether earned or handed to you - makes you a real asshole. Don't be an asshole. You earned your spot in this world, that is where your satisfaction should come from.

  3. Get rid of FB/IG. They bring no added value to anyone's lives.

 
Best Response
jack3d:
...and most of these people were actually the ones who also laughed at my dreams through high school, or who just looked down upon people (me included) ...
Wait, why are you friend with them on FB again? I think the_stig had the best advice:
the_stig:

1. It sounds like you have some real douchebag friends. These are not the kind of people you want to associate with. Find new friends.

At any rate, as fun as it can be sometimes to be a dick back to those who were dicks to you, sometimes you gotta be the bigger man (no pun intended). It sounds like you worked hard, got a good job, and are doing well for yourself. The second you start flaunting that around on FB or IG, you become no better than they are. Instead focus on the things that make your life great and stop trying to compare it to other people's standards (especially people who it seems were never really your "friends").
 

Fair enough.

This sounds silly but what would you consider bragging? I'd welcome a few regular examples, like does shooting up pics from expensive vacations crosses the line?

 

Upload one or two photos from your trip, one cool picture and one of yourself that looks good. Anyone who is showing off how good they have it while being buoyed by their parents will most likely be combing through their news feeds comparing themselves to others. So they'll see your cool pic, it's implied the rest of your trip was as good or better and they'll see you work on wall street when they click your profile. Everyone else who is interested won't get the impression you're a douche bag -- provided you don't use tacky hash tags.

 

sunsets, outdoorsy stuff, etc., are all fair game. if you put up a picture of the bottle of bubbly you got at dinner and caption something like "livin large!" then you're bragging. ask yourself this, would you want to show the picture to your grandparents/grandchildren? if no, then you probably shouldn't post it. pictures are more about sharing experiences, not possessions.

 

Use IG/FB for sharing your favorite moments with your friends and for the ability to look back several years later. It sounds like you need to clean out your FB. A good trick that I use is to check the birthdays and if you don't like the person or don't talk to them any more, just unfriend them.

Posting things on social media to make people jealous is worthless because there will always be someone doing something cooler with hotter girls or with a bigger private jet. Unless you're Dan Bilzerian. I don't think your $50k bonus is going to give that many people a hard on, either.

 

I love IG but would never post pics of shit I buy or own. That is just pathetic. I post pics of shit I eat, cool things I see, books I read, whatever. More about me remembering and having a photo collection of fond moments.

Imo, I'd just delete these people. I unfollow people all the time.

 
TNA:

That is just pathetic. I post pics of shit I eat

Has to be done:

//www.youtube.com/embed/3I6qHBE_7aM

 
TNA:

I love IG but would never post pics of shit I buy or own. That is just pathetic. I post pics of shit I eat, cool things I see, books I read, whatever. More about me remembering and having a photo collection of fond moments.

Imo, I'd just delete these people. I unfollow people all the time.

You post pictures of your dinner and books you've read? What are you, a desperate little pimply faced teen pretending to be sophisticated?

 
fixedfaileddelivered:
TNA:

I love IG but would never post pics of shit I buy or own. That is just pathetic. I post pics of shit I eat, cool things I see, books I read, whatever. More about me remembering and having a photo collection of fond moments.

Imo, I'd just delete these people. I unfollow people all the time.

You post pictures of your dinner and books you've read? What are you, a desperate little pimply faced teen pretending to be sophisticated?

Another wonderfully insightful comment by the WSO community. This site really needs an IQ test threshold.

 

I totally disagree with the responses here. Shove it in their face. Sneak onto a 150' yacht and take a few selfies. Hire a couple of hot strippers and do a photo shoot of you motorboating Cristal off of their ample busoms. When you see a Lambo on the street, have someone take pics of you acting like you're getting in. Go to a private plane expo and have someone take a pic of you getting onto a GV and put a caption "Heading to the villa in Tuscany." Post it all.

One of the top rules in life: don't be a dick. Forget about them.

 

Do you have friends? Cause I do and we talk about books and where to go out to eat. Posting a picture of a good book I read is a lot different than posting pictures of a Rolex or me behind the wheel of a Bentley. Maybe in your social circle owning a book is considered balling, but in the literate group I roll with it isn't showing off. I also generally don't have people with a 5th grade reading level following me.

You seem to have an issue with people doing their thing. This strikes me as far more "desperate". Calm down, read a book. No need to get so jelly.

 
<span class=keyword_link><a href=/company/trilantic-north-america>TNA</a></span>:

Do you have friends? Cause I do and we talk about books and where to go out to eat. Posting a picture of a good book I read is a lot different than posting pictures of a Rolex or me behind the wheel of a Bentley. Maybe in your social circle owning a book is considered balling, but in the literate group I roll with it isn't showing off. I also generally don't have people with a 5th grade reading level following me.

You seem to have an issue with people doing their thing. This strikes me as far more "desperate". Calm down, read a book. No need to get so jelly.

Ha.

 

The value in Instagram is taking pictures of experiences and things that interest you that happen in your life. If you live a life like Dan Blizerian, then posting the types of licentious pictures he does isn't necessarily bragging, in my opinion, since he seems to actually live like a rockstar. The people who are doing it wrong are the ones who purposely try to inflate how "good" their life is in order to subtly boast to others.

 

But isn't almost all of it, in some ways, bragging?

You have Instagram for what purpose? Or you have Facebook and enjoy getting likes on that status for what purpose?

Almost all of it, subconsciously or otherwise, is to gain some sort of validation. Not all, of course, but a lot. Definitely difference between that and showing off your new Rolex or something, yes, but then again there's probably quite a fine line.

You post about a book on Instagram to tell your friends what you're reading? Fine. But it's like going to a nice-ish place and taking bunch of pics to get people saying "wow, that Name is always doing cool things" or whatnot. You may not actively think that's the case, but I think we're all humans and we pretty much all need some sort of validation by our peers.

 

I think it depends on a couple things. As the OP mentioned, he has friends posting purely bragging pics bought with their parents money. It also depends on your social circle. I suppose of you're a college kid posting meals, books and travel when your social circle is working in the computer lab and eating at the mess hall, then yes, it's bragging.

But if your social circle goes out a lot, travels, is older, then you are sharing a common interest among friends.

IMO, I love the interactive nature of IG. I go to restaurants because of stuff I see and people go to places cause of stuff I post. My friends @ me and show me shit and I do in return. So much shit is less about bragging and more relating and sharring.

I will agree this is all opaque, but this is why we are discussing shit. I never post shit on Facebook because I really dislike that medium, but IG is instant, flexible and cool.

And posting a book or a meal is little different than a review or advice, is it not? People ask me to rec a place and not only do I give them some ideas but I show them some pics. Pretty handy in that regard.

 

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