For the guys out there, how many of you have considered doing this?

Before you start your job, you shave your head completely and you let your hair grow out. You never cut it until you quit in two years.

You do this for a few reasons. One is to gauge how much time you have until you finish. You should have 1 foot of hair by the time you finish. So judging by the length of your hair and comparing it to a foot, you can estimate how much time is left.

The second reason is that it shows a subconscious evolution of growth to others. Your peers will see the hair growth as a sign of dynamic change, and not something static.

Third, once you cut it, it's like a spiritual rebirth. Like a reptile shedding its old self.

The fourth and main reason is to create a biomarker. You'll have a foot of hair to remind yourself of where you were in the past and how long you worked. Your mark in the world. And if you ever forget how long you worked for, you can measure the length of that cut hair.

And it's a conversation piece.

Just something random that I think will help.

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  • Works at Goldman Sachs
Mar 31, 2021 - 5:11pm

2 weeks ago I went out on a date with a girl who is into Zodiac signs. She was checking her phone when I getting us drinks and yelled pretty loudly. I asked what happened and she said, "My crystals have been off a few hours... It was the Vernal Equinox this weekend and its just making sense now why I haven't been getting a lot of positive vibrations lately."

I asked if that was her way of saying that she hasn't gotten laid since COVID... It was not.  

Mar 28, 2021 - 11:41pm

it will look and feel horrible. your hair on your ears and on your neck behind will be long, ugly, and very uncomfortable (itchy). do you think why people were freaking out during the covid lockdown when barbershops had to close?

Mar 29, 2021 - 3:22pm

I don't think they shave their heads. Cutting it short is different. You'll cut different length on the front, sides, and back.

If you do shave it and then just grow it out without trims, it'll look and feel bad for awhile.

Mar 29, 2021 - 8:46am

Surprised nobody has brought this up. Your hair isn't growing 12 inches in 2 years during your analyst stint. That's a stat for regular healthy people. 

You're going to be working from 9-1 AM most day and won't get to see virtually any amount of sunlight relative to the average person. You're going to be on call 24/7 and under constant pressure to deliver. That stress is going to counteract any hair growth you expect to get. In the event you managed to get anywhere close to 0.5 an inch/month after all of that the fact that you're going to be getting between 4-6 hours of sleep every night would probably be the final nail in the coffin for you coming out of your analyst stint with any meaningful amount of hair. I haven't even broken into changes in diet and exercise which could also just torpedo your plan. 

Mar 29, 2021 - 10:53am

When I started my internship, I shaved all the hair off my body, literally all of the hair (including eye lashes). I did it to assert dominance. So there is some merit to it.

Mar 29, 2021 - 2:31pm

Added perk: You can offer years of data for your company to drug test if they choose to


Look at all these wannabe richies hating on an expensive salad.
  • 1
Apr 12, 2021 - 9:33am

If your SO can't understand the sacrifices that need to be made for your career, then he/she isn't really spouse material. My SO would probably help me by getting the trimmer herself and shaving me for Day 1. 

Apr 12, 2021 - 9:32am

Y'know, that's actually a great idea, but why stop with the just the head? Why not grow out the beard, the arm pits, the... other regions too? Why stop at just the hair anyway? I believe I have some nails that could also serve the purpose well enough. That way, you'll have even more biomarkers, and at the rate you go, you may not even get to the 2-year mark before getting laid off. 

Apr 13, 2021 - 10:21am

Am I the only one who likes OP? The level of details in his bullshit is over the top. Kudos.

Never discuss with idiots, first they drag you at their level, then they beat you with experience.

Apr 13, 2021 - 11:40pm

Ok, so you are going to have points where your hair is ridiculous looking. In order to look descent you will need haircuts along the way. I know one dude who is rocking covid hockey hair, but he is also squared the fuck away and an awesome performer. If you are not above par it will be a net negative. Finally, calendars and achievements are much better way to gauge time.

Only two sources I trust, Glenn Beck and singing woodland creatures.
  • 1
Apr 13, 2021 - 11:40pm

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Only two sources I trust, Glenn Beck and singing woodland creatures.
Apr 14, 2021 - 10:52pm

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Quant (ˈkwänt) n: An expert, someone who knows more and more about less and less until they know everything about nothing.

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