For the guys out there, how many of you have considered doing this?

Before you start your job, you shave your head completely and you let your hair grow out. You never cut it until you quit in two years.

You do this for a few reasons. One is to gauge how much time you have until you finish. You should have 1 foot of hair by the time you finish. So judging by the length of your hair and comparing it to a foot, you can estimate how much time is left.

The second reason is that it shows a subconscious evolution of growth to others. Your peers will see the hair growth as a sign of dynamic change, and not something static.

Third, once you cut it, it's like a spiritual rebirth. Like a reptile shedding its old self.

The fourth and main reason is to create a biomarker. You'll have a foot of hair to remind yourself of where you were in the past and how long you worked. Your mark in the world. And if you ever forget how long you worked for, you can measure the length of that cut hair.

And it's a conversation piece.

Just something random that I think will help.

35 Comments
 

2 weeks ago I went out on a date with a girl who is into Zodiac signs. She was checking her phone when I getting us drinks and yelled pretty loudly. I asked what happened and she said, "My crystals have been off a few hours... It was the Vernal Equinox this weekend and its just making sense now why I haven't been getting a lot of positive vibrations lately."

I asked if that was her way of saying that she hasn't gotten laid since COVID... It was not.  

 

Your peers will see the hair growth as a sign of dynamic change

No the fuck they will not.

 

Surprised nobody has brought this up. Your hair isn't growing 12 inches in 2 years during your analyst stint. That's a stat for regular healthy people. 

You're going to be working from 9-1 AM most day and won't get to see virtually any amount of sunlight relative to the average person. You're going to be on call 24/7 and under constant pressure to deliver. That stress is going to counteract any hair growth you expect to get. In the event you managed to get anywhere close to 0.5 an inch/month after all of that the fact that you're going to be getting between 4-6 hours of sleep every night would probably be the final nail in the coffin for you coming out of your analyst stint with any meaningful amount of hair. I haven't even broken into changes in diet and exercise which could also just torpedo your plan. 

 

Added perk: You can offer years of data for your company to drug test if they choose to

heister: Look at all these wannabe richies hating on an expensive salad. https://arthuxtable.com/
 

Y'know, that's actually a great idea, but why stop with the just the head? Why not grow out the beard, the arm pits, the... other regions too? Why stop at just the hair anyway? I believe I have some nails that could also serve the purpose well enough. That way, you'll have even more biomarkers, and at the rate you go, you may not even get to the 2-year mark before getting laid off. 

 

I recently started a new job and kind of want to do this...

"If you don't have any enemies in life you have never stood up for anything" - Winston Churchill | "It's a testament to the sheer belligerence of the profession that people would rather argue about the 'risk-adjusted returns' of using inferior tooth cleaning methods." - kellycriterion
 

Am I the only one who likes OP? The level of details in his bullshit is over the top. Kudos.

Never discuss with idiots, first they drag you at their level, then they beat you with experience.
 

Ok, so you are going to have points where your hair is ridiculous looking. In order to look descent you will need haircuts along the way. I know one dude who is rocking covid hockey hair, but he is also squared the fuck away and an awesome performer. If you are not above par it will be a net negative. Finally, calendars and achievements are much better way to gauge time.

Only two sources I trust, Glenn Beck and singing woodland creatures.
 

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Only two sources I trust, Glenn Beck and singing woodland creatures.
 

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Quant (ˈkwänt) n: An expert, someone who knows more and more about less and less until they know everything about nothing.

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