Help - Can't Find Dates

My profile:

  • Oxbridge educated (PPE)

  • M7 MBA

  • Rhodes Scholar (2010-2015)

  • Signed model (Storm Model Management

  • RP accent 

  • Eton/Westminster /Rosey/Andover/Exeter educated

  • Vacation homes in Nantucket, Hamptons, Ibiza and Mykonos

  • 6'1

  • Physique consistently rated around 9.6/10 by members of the opposite gender

  • Face and hair consistently rated around 9.82/10 by members of the opposite gender

  • Voice consistently rated at 9.45/10 by members of the opposite gender (see bullet point 5)

  • Lives in a sub penthouse in the Wharf

  • Does not smoke, casually drink or even drink caffeine beverages.

  • Also vegetarian

  • Despite the above two bullet points, I do coke or adderall almost every day.

 

Are you admitting you have micropenis prior to the dates? It could be a factor.

"If you always put limits on everything you do, physical or anything else, it will spread into your work and into your life. There are no limits. There are only plateaus, and you must not stay there, you must go beyond them." - Bruce Lee
 

Non hic totam sunt tempore cumque quia voluptatem facere. Illo dolores assumenda voluptas. Consequatur nulla modi rerum officiis alias. Accusamus accusantium et nam et.

Rerum vel dolore repellendus amet numquam et hic. Accusantium et voluptas totam id. Repellendus nihil consectetur voluptatibus illo quo et eum itaque. Repellendus impedit quia iste sapiente et sed. Consectetur autem accusantium aut ut excepturi ut a doloribus. Eveniet hic aut sit facilis nesciunt temporibus. Labore quos error sint vitae commodi ut.

Ut doloribus magni sint eveniet est. Eveniet ut architecto assumenda perferendis. Qui iste culpa et distinctio cumque atque. Quis aliquam repellat consequuntur voluptatem inventore consectetur.

Quis consequuntur quo quo. Optio molestias debitis et dolorem. Cumque corrupti dolorum tenetur sit vel quae. Eligendi consequatur sint hic perferendis in sapiente ipsum maiores.

SafariJoe, wins again!

Career Advancement Opportunities

April 2024 Investment Banking

  • Jefferies & Company 02 99.4%
  • Goldman Sachs 19 98.8%
  • Harris Williams & Co. New 98.3%
  • Lazard Freres 02 97.7%
  • JPMorgan Chase 03 97.1%

Overall Employee Satisfaction

April 2024 Investment Banking

  • Harris Williams & Co. 18 99.4%
  • JPMorgan Chase 10 98.8%
  • Lazard Freres 05 98.3%
  • Morgan Stanley 07 97.7%
  • William Blair 03 97.1%

Professional Growth Opportunities

April 2024 Investment Banking

  • Lazard Freres 01 99.4%
  • Jefferies & Company 02 98.8%
  • Goldman Sachs 17 98.3%
  • Moelis & Company 07 97.7%
  • JPMorgan Chase 05 97.1%

Total Avg Compensation

April 2024 Investment Banking

  • Director/MD (5) $648
  • Vice President (19) $385
  • Associates (87) $260
  • 3rd+ Year Analyst (14) $181
  • Intern/Summer Associate (33) $170
  • 2nd Year Analyst (66) $168
  • 1st Year Analyst (205) $159
  • Intern/Summer Analyst (146) $101
notes
16 IB Interviews Notes

“... there’s no excuse to not take advantage of the resources out there available to you. Best value for your $ are the...”

Leaderboard

1
redever's picture
redever
99.2
2
Secyh62's picture
Secyh62
99.0
3
Betsy Massar's picture
Betsy Massar
99.0
4
BankonBanking's picture
BankonBanking
99.0
5
kanon's picture
kanon
98.9
6
CompBanker's picture
CompBanker
98.9
7
dosk17's picture
dosk17
98.9
8
GameTheory's picture
GameTheory
98.9
9
numi's picture
numi
98.8
10
Kenny_Powers_CFA's picture
Kenny_Powers_CFA
98.8
success
From 10 rejections to 1 dream investment banking internship

“... I believe it was the single biggest reason why I ended up with an offer...”