Help - Can't Find Dates

My profile:

- Oxbridge educated (PPE)

- M7 MBA

- Rhodes Scholar (2010-2015)

- Signed model (Storm Model Management

- RP accent 

- Eton/Westminster /Rosey/Andover/Exeter educated

- Vacation homes in Nantucket, Hamptons, Ibiza and Mykonos

- 6'1

- Physique consistently rated around 9.6/10 by members of the opposite gender

- Face and hair consistently rated around 9.82/10 by members of the opposite gender

- Voice consistently rated at 9.45/10 by members of the opposite gender (see bullet point 5)

- Lives in a sub penthouse in the Wharf

- Does not smoke, casually drink or even drink caffeine beverages.

- Also vegetarian

- Despite the above two bullet points, I do coke or adderall almost every day.

6 Comments
 

Troll

"If you always put limits on everything you do, physical or anything else, it will spread into your work and into your life. There are no limits. There are only plateaus, and you must not stay there, you must go beyond them." - Bruce Lee
 

Are you admitting you have micropenis prior to the dates? It could be a factor.

"If you always put limits on everything you do, physical or anything else, it will spread into your work and into your life. There are no limits. There are only plateaus, and you must not stay there, you must go beyond them." - Bruce Lee
 

Mollitia iste est nam eum corrupti beatae. Esse quia voluptatem nulla est ea.

Nobis voluptas quia sapiente nihil. Et nam expedita dolorum labore voluptates. Praesentium possimus rerum est voluptates et dolorem praesentium dolore. Asperiores voluptatem officiis alias eligendi enim. Saepe tempora cumque aut ea aut incidunt nihil. Exercitationem magnam ullam magni sed.

SafariJoe, wins again!

Career Advancement Opportunities

June 2026 Investment Banking

  • Evercore 01 99.4%
  • Moelis & Company 01 98.8%
  • JPMorgan 01 98.2%
  • Guggenheim Partners 01 97.7%
  • Morgan Stanley 07 97.1%

Overall Employee Satisfaction

June 2026 Investment Banking

  • Moelis & Company No 99.4%
  • Morgan Stanley 01 98.8%
  • Evercore 01 98.2%
  • BMO Capital Markets 12 97.6%
  • Banco Santander 01 97.1%

Professional Growth Opportunities

June 2026 Investment Banking

  • Moelis & Company No 99.4%
  • Evercore No 98.8%
  • Morgan Stanley 05 98.2%
  • JPMorgan No 97.7%
  • BMO Capital Markets 12 97.1%

Total Avg Compensation

June 2026 Investment Banking

  • Vice President (14) $434
  • Associates (43) $259
  • 3rd+ Year Analyst (8) $210
  • 2nd Year Analyst (22) $179
  • Intern/Summer Associate (13) $156
  • 1st Year Analyst (75) $151
  • Intern/Summer Analyst (65) $101
notes
16 IB Interviews Notes

“... there’s no excuse to not take advantage of the resources out there available to you. Best value for your $ are the...”

Leaderboard

1
redever's picture
redever
99.2
2
kanon's picture
kanon
99.0
3
BankonBanking's picture
BankonBanking
99.0
4
Secyh62's picture
Secyh62
99.0
5
Betsy Massar's picture
Betsy Massar
98.9
6
dosk17's picture
dosk17
98.9
7
GameTheory's picture
GameTheory
98.9
8
CompBanker's picture
CompBanker
98.9
9
DrApeman's picture
DrApeman
98.9
10
bolo up's picture
bolo up
98.8
success
From 10 rejections to 1 dream investment banking internship

“... I believe it was the single biggest reason why I ended up with an offer...”