Now that we’re over one month into this, I think it’s time to speak up. I had been trying to go on a diet of social media and message boards, but I can’t help but try to shed some alternative thinking where it might be needed. As with most things, take what I have to say with a grain of salt, and at the same time I hope my message resonates with everyone.
This virus is a front kick straight to the testicles. I’ve lived through the financial crisis, was in high school during 9/11 and wanted to immediately run to the USMC recruiter and start sniping Al Qaeda, been at a firm that closed its doors promptly after moving to a new city where I knew no one, lived through hurricanes with weekslong power outages (SE USA remember), and so on and so on. During all prior crises, we were able to huddle together as a community (especially during natural disasters), we were able to get away from it all with a vacation that was preplanned, or even just get a brew at the local pub with your mates. Social distancing has nuked our normal coping mechanisms, and that sucks, no two ways about it. So, with a new normal with no end in sight, how should we think about this?
1. Respect
Respect. It’s easy to get snippy during this time, particularly if you’re living with roommates, have young children at home, live in a cramped apartment, this is not going to be as easy as someone who has only their spouse, a couple dogs, and a nice house. Lead with respect. We’re all stressed during this time, that’s not to say you’re not allowed to feel stress, just that you’re not alone, so treat others with respect now more than ever. What does this mean specifically? It means exercising patience in long grocery lines, it means not doing burpees during your roommates morning conference call, it means not hoarding food and supplies just because you have the money to do so. More than the golden rule, treat people the way they wish to be treated. And if you’re unsure, ask. Say something like “what are some things we can do to make this time more bearable, if not fun?” You will be surprised what you hear.
2. Humility
I’ve seen a lot of political banter on this virus, presumably because Trump is disagreeing with many within the medical community and has focused his concerns on the potential economic impacts rather than solely on public health. Now is not the time for this. If you enjoy discussions among family members or friends, that’s totally fine, just keep it civil. Nobody knows for sure what is going to happen. Even trained virologists’ statements are just opinions based on years of experience. Models can only be so helpful, so while you should tend to lean on scientific opinions rather than those of your uncle’s facebook, have some humility. You don’t know much more than the next person, so if you choose to argue about this, have some humility. Also ask yourself this question, maybe in your head, maybe aloud – by continuing this argument/discussion, what do I hope to gain? Newsflash: you aren’t going to change many people’s minds, if any whatsoever. Are you arguing with strangers just so people upvote your post online? Because you want to “win” an argument with your superior knowledge? Reflecting on your reasons for engaging others on politics will hopefully cause you to lessen how much a part of your life this is.
3. Kindness
I follow a lot of people on twitter of the Nassim Taleb variety, I’m sure you all have similar circles of people you follow. Mine are an odd bunch, they love putting out papers on complex systems and how shocks like CV are mayhem on systems. They use their platform to yell and scream at politicians, intellectuals, and others trying to belittle the virus or if they enact measures that do not agree with their work. They may be correct, but now is not the time for nastiness. I’ve seen nastiness on the part of people like them, I’ve seen nastiness in my own working team with people taking different attitudes to social distancing (some not leaving their homes at all and chastising others for their actions), I’ve seen nastiness on the part of people in favorable financial positions saying “well, you should’ve had an emergency fund” and the like. I am not saying you’re not allowed to think those thoughts. I am not saying that you are incorrect, you may very well be correct. I ask you this: what good does that accomplish? Does someone who just got furloughed really need to hear you say they should keep 6 months of living expenses in cash? They know that, they feel shitty about it already, give them a hug (virtually), share some kindness, we can talk about personal finance later.
4. Perspective
This isn’t that bad in the US. We still have running water. We still have electricity. We have technology that allows for communicating in ways never thought possible. I remember when cell phones had limits on minutes, texting was like toll roads (you paid per text after your limit), group chats were nonexistent, and video chatting was unheard of outside of major news companies. Some people on this forum and elsewhere have lost your jobs. I am sorry for you, that sucks, no two ways about it. Companies are still hiring, so dust yourselves off and get out there. This is no the Great Depression where everyone is laying people off. Some areas are experiencing food shortages, I am sorry for you. I am lucky enough to live in the SE where we’re close to our food at all times, but for those of you in SF, NYC, and more, I feel very sorry for you. That said, you are still in the USA. You are not riding this crisis out in Tehran, this is not Ebola in the Sudan, this is not MERS in Syria. Take a moment and focus on the positive things of your life, and you might just change your perspective.
5. State of mind
Even if you’re an optimist like me, this period has proved challenging, particularly for extroverts. I cherish the ability to go to one of my favorite bars, chat hockey with my favorite bartender, help the gi