I bumped into Lloyd Blankfein on the street and called him Jamie Dimon

Disclaimer: I've made a throwaway account due to the crippling embarrassment of what just happened to me and my fear of being connected to this in anyway.

I'm starting at Goldman Sachs in a few weeks, bumped into Lloyd Blankfein leaving a building near Columbus Circle in NY and fucking said "Jamie Dimon, can I take a photo with you?" He turned around and with a confused look on his face said "I'm not Jamie Dimon" and walked off. I literally couldn't move as I quickly realized that I, with a few simple words, have brought shame upon all the sperm cells that lost their lives in giving me mine.

I wish this was a joke. I literally just got my offer three weeks ago and have day dreamed about what I would say to this guy if I ever bumped into him and I pull this shit...

Mod Note (Andy): top 50 posts of 2017, this one ranks #15 (based on # of silver bananas)

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Comments (76)

Jan 15, 2018 - 11:14pm

should've called him daddy

JC, john cena, jesus christ, etc.
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Dec 30, 2017 - 11:52am

Trust me I wish this was BS

If this is legit, you have to jovially call him Jamie again next time you see him and play it off as a big joke.

It will work beautifully if you play it well.

"If you always put limits on everything you do, physical or anything else, it will spread into your work and into your life. There are no limits. There are only plateaus, and you must not stay there, you must go beyond them." - Bruce Lee

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Dec 5, 2017 - 7:49pm

Look at the bright side. At least you weren't riding down the elevator or leaving GS corporate offices together when you did this. You might as well be a joe-schmo to him.

I do have to ask you though, who the hell asks bankers for a picture? What were you going to do with it? Frame your selfie and put it in your cubicle?

Dec 6, 2017 - 9:58am

What will happen on day one when Lloyd goes in front of the new hires to welcome you? He will probably spot you in the crowd and hilarity will ensue.

"I'm talking about liquid. Rich enough to have your own jet. Rich enough not to waste time. Fifty, a hundred million dollars, buddy. A player. Or nothing. " -GG
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Dec 5, 2017 - 8:08pm

With eyesight like that is Amy Schumer a 10/10 in your opinion?

26 Broadway where's your sense of humor?
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Dec 5, 2017 - 9:02pm

Haha I bumped into Rupert Murdoch and called him Lloyd Blankfein -- then i proceeded to shake his hand after eating ribs and not having washed them.

What concert costs 45 cents? 50 Cent feat. Nickelback.

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Dec 7, 2017 - 4:57pm

According to your recent posts you were 19 about a year ago. Please calm your tits oh so wise one, tumultuous titties wont do yah to well in life

They've gotten me a couple glasses of house wine and a Grand slam at Denny's...so who's the wise one now?

If the glove don't fit, you must acquit!
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Dec 7, 2017 - 2:31pm

The poor man went through Chemo last year... and you called him JAMIE DIMON?

"A man can convince anyone he's somebody else, but never himself."
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Dec 7, 2017 - 5:19pm

Not sure a throwaway account will really do you any good. Also, how did you confuse a bald guy with a guy with hair?

Follow the shit your fellow monkeys say @shitWSOsays

Life is hard, it's even harder when you're stupid - John Wayne

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Dec 7, 2017 - 6:38pm

I hope you share the elevator with him on your first (last?) day. Come back and give an update if you do.


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Dec 7, 2017 - 10:33pm

Ha, funny.I actually saw Lloyd Blankfein at a Duane Read in NYC last summer.

I told him how cool it was to meet him in person, but I didn't want to be a douche and bother him and ask him for photos or anything.

He said, "Oh, like you're doing now?"

I was taken aback, and all I could say was "Huh?" but he kept cutting me off and going "huh? huh? huh?" and closing his hand shut in front of my face. I walked away and continued with my shopping, and I heard him chuckle as I walked off. When I came to pay for my stuff up front I saw him trying to walk out the doors with like fifteen Milky Ways in his hands without paying.

The girl at the counter was very nice about it and professional, and was like "Sir, you need to pay for those first." At first he kept pretending to be tired and not hear her, but eventually turned back around and brought them to the counter.

When she took one of the bars and started scanning it multiple times, he stopped her and told her to scan them each individually "to prevent any electrical infetterence," and then turned around and winked at me. I don't even think that's a word. After she scanned each bar and put them in a bag and started to say the price, he kept interrupting her by yawning really loudly.

Dec 8, 2017 - 8:13am

Lloyd may have been having a bad day, but don't let this distract you from the fact that in 1966, Al Bundy scored four touchdowns in a single game while playing for the Polk High School Panthers in the 1966 city championship game versus Andrew Johnson High School, including the game-winning touchdown in the final seconds against his old nemesis, "Spare Tire" Dixon.

Dec 8, 2017 - 2:58pm

@Lloyd BIankfein" pls add color. Did you cry when you got home?

Life is my favorite drinking game - gselevator

Dec 8, 2017 - 4:06pm

Let's assume the OP is not trolling. How can you possibly get them mixed up? They look nothing alike.

I have a similar story of where Citadel's Ken Griffin was in my apartment building because he was cheating on his wife with a girl who lived there. We were in the same elevator, and he could tell by the way I looked at him that I knew who he was. Lol.

Dec 8, 2017 - 10:16pm

I wouldn't worry...all you millennials look the same to us olds.

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Dec 9, 2017 - 4:18am

So what happens when someone he works with closely forwards this to him (since it's circulating all over LinkedIn and elsewhere), he remembers this encounter, and then reads this and finds out you're an incoming GS banker? He may remember this encounter and your face. Or he may not and then nothing may come of this, but I would've kept it to myself in the off chance what I just described happens. Not worth blasting the internet about it just to tell strangers you fucked up

Dec 9, 2017 - 9:16am

Good point! Except, no, not really. Nothing bad will come of me telling a light-hearted and funny embarrassing story. If Lloyd remembers me, in any capacity, although insanely unlikely that would be pretty cool.

Dec 10, 2017 - 11:50am

Of course "Lloyd Blankfein" doesn't have time to scroll through LI or WSO. But don't you think someone will bring it to his attention? It was the first thing that popped up on my LI feed. I'm not hating, but firms are increasingly warning employees about what their posting on social networks. Just be careful. While the rest of the WSO community might find it cute and funny, he might not.

Dec 10, 2017 - 2:23pm

I think you're assuming this is something he would remember even a day later, let alone the amount of time it would take for me to see him again. And even if he did remember, and then by some ungodly chance read this, do you honestly think he would be pissed at someone nervously screwing up in a pretty funny way?

Dec 10, 2017 - 5:15pm

I'm curious if you put "Attention to detail" on your resume or mentioned it as a skill in your interview for the job...

Does the Tiger fire the Monkey? Does the Tiger transfer the Monkey to another branch?
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Dec 18, 2017 - 10:02pm

Don't see what the big deal is? Stop putting a CEO of a bank on top of a pedestal. Remember that he is just a person like you and nothing special, and you will go far. If anything for all you know lloyd blankfein is a sick fuck who hides all of his insecurities constantly hoping he won't ever be found out.

Mar 16, 2018 - 8:21pm

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