I WILL pay for your coffee/lunch!
I feel like this is the most basic question ever, but it's a problem I am constantly having. People are always paying for meals/coffee with me, even if I reach out to them for a meeting or informational interview. Even when I set the precedent that I'll be taking you out for lunch... etc. When it comes time to pay people make a big fuss about the check and won't let me near it. I make it clear that I applicate they took the time to meet with me, and that I am more than happy to cover the bill, but they almost take it personally that I won't let them pay. In the end I always give in because it gets to be ridiculous and I don't want to end the meeting on a bad note.
Any advice out there on how to overcome this or should I just shut up and enjoy the free ride?
You mean: as a student going for a meal/coffee with somebody working in XYZ industry? It's pretty normal, especially since student life in the US (and elsewhere, to some extent) usually involves being low on money. Just pay it forward when you're on the other side of the table.
General rule: The more senior person pays. If you're a student and you're networking with an Analyst, Analyst will usually pay. If you're an Analyst going with an MD, MD will usually pay. If you're going with me, you're paying because I have a scorpion in my pocket.
This. But keep doing what you are doing, and always offer to pay. The more senior person will offer 99% of the time, just make sure you take an action showing you are trying to pay. No one likes a leech.
I'm going to have to use the scorpion reference more often. love it
It's ok to let older people with means pay.
When I grab dinner with my aunt and uncle, I'll offer to pay, but they always grab the check.
When I grab dinner with my parents, they grab the check.
When I grab coffee with a college student, I buy.
It's good to offer, but 95% of the time the senior person with means pays.
normal - offer to pay, get counter-offered, offer once more, then yield
This, it's just too odd to play this game where the students insists on paying for you. I mean, the industry guy is not going to break bank for coffee / lunch, don't worry. But the above is the best approach.
As a female I never even offer to pay it's always bought for me
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I don't get it?
6/10... would have been a 5 but you got @yungmonkey100"
Send nudes
you look poor
Please shut up and appreciate their generosity.
I swear, people on this site and social skills are like oil and water
Just accept the coffee. It's like $2. The person you're having an informational interview with likely received free $2 coffees as well as he/she tried to network into the industry.
Just make sure you do the "fake reach for wallet" move when it comes time to pay to add a bit of sincerity.
If you're talking about working professionals paying for your coffee, please stop insisting on paying. Offer once to be friendly, but drop it after that. I'm already rich, don't make me an asshole too by letting a college kid buy me food.
Are you a girl?
Personally, even if I make mid to high six figure, I already don't have enough money to fund my current lifestyle so not sure why I would want to pay a $4 vegan frappuccino for an obnoxious, spoiled frat brat
you don't deserve being rich, being rich is a thing that comes from the inside, being rich is the feeling of letting somebody feel you're richer with every mean.
Let me buy you a vegan obnoxious DOM.
I noticed that too. I always reach in for my wallet, then they say its on them and I just say thank you. No need to make a fuss about it.
i think the greatest payment that you can make to them is > to make it worth while for them to come out to see you and advise you > the last thing i want is > waste my time > then this kid do exactly the opposite of what i suggested
if you were smart > someone paying coffee for you is a good thing > they pay money for you > they are emotionally invested in you > they take time to talk to you > they are more invested in you > you listen to their advice + meet the people that they introduce > they are more invested in you > keep doing this + being pleasant > they will just start hiring you at their firms when time comes
net net > people being invested in you > both emotionally and financially is a good thing > because they will want you to succeed > which is what you want anyway
and don't be a dick > you are not that rich > imagine that you have to meet people for coffee + drinks > assuming average you need to pay US$20 for yourself + the other person > 20 x 800 > US$ 16,000 > 800 > assuming you only meet 200 people per year > during 4 years of college > 200/365 > only 1 new person every other day
I don't mean to be a dick, but why are there "greater than" symbols all over your post? It makes it incredibly hard to read, similar to if you wrote in all caps (aka, shouting).
sorry. just my way to thinking when i am trying to explain a process. noted. example: weight loss > diet + exercise = result > diet only > no results
I almost feel as though it's more awkward to even offer to pay as the more junior person. I can see how it could be insulting to an MD, etc
If I was the more senior person all I would expect is gratification for my time and meal, offering to pay IMO can look worse than just being grateful and thanking them... ESPECIALLY if they are using a corporate card..
Trying to argue that you want to pay (IE - making a second/third counter-offer) probably looks the most toolish of all. Don't argue with the person being nice enough to give you their time.
I'd say you gotta at least make the offer, you don't want to come off as a douche like you expect them to pay (even though they probably want to). A quick, "Can I grab your coffee?" should do just fine. Don't overthink things, try to be a human with a personality in these situations and they usually work out
Insisting to pay as a student is like saying my parents have more money than your bank, Mr. MD. Don't be a weirdo.
I'm not on here all that often but this is the second time I've seen this question, if it's not obvious than I feel you probably lack the soft skills to go far..
If I go for coffee with someone more senior I'll reach for my wallet to show that I'm willing to pay but they have always more or less explicitly told me that it's on them, which is what I would expect but the gesture is polite. DO NOT insist on paying once they've offered, it makes the situation awkward, just accept their generosity and thank them.
As a first year analyst I'll pay when I'm with a student.
If it's someone on the same level I would say it's the one who initiated the 'meeting' who should pay.
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