I'm lost. Life is too hard, and it's becoming unbearable. [Rant]

I've been born into an uneducated family who are trying to live with 300$ every month. Since my childhood, I have been told that if I study too much I was going to have a perfect life. Since middle-school I was the best student in my class. I studied so much more than anyone, and got into one of the best high-schools in Turkey. Then, they told me that I have to study for hours and hours for 4 years to get into a good university. I did it. I got into one of the best universties in Turkey. Even though I lacked social skills, and never had a girlfriend I was succesfull. As of today, I'm a Sophomore student and don't know what to do even though becoming an investment banker was a dream of mine. I feel like I don't have any other purpose than studying and learning. I never had hobbies, because I never had money nor time to try one. The only hobby of mine was playing video games, because it was the cheapest and easiest thing to do. Because my family haven't studied, they forced me to study for hours and hours till I cry. I begged them to let me free and do something else, but they forced me to leave my friends behind and study. I hate them, but I don't even hate them.

I wasted my childhood, so many experiences, emotions that I will never have ever again. I never felt the love of my dad. I always felt responsible for everything in my life. I've never felt like a child. While people were having fun, drinking, having sex, I studied like crazy without developing any social skills because I had to. While people were worrying about which girl to fuck, or which plate to travel I worried about our financial situtation while eating tomato inside of a bread. I didn't deserved to have a family that was making 300$ every month. I didn't deserve to grow up without feeling anything to my father. I didn't deserved to have an uneducated mother who knows nothing about life and can't talk anything about except gossip.

I have 3.78 GPA, and don't know what to do. I'm about to be 21, and still a virgin. Still lack basic social skills. I don't have money to do anything, only small amount of money from the scholarships I get. I'm worried about everything, my family, my future, my psychology, my life, my social skills, everything. But, I don't even have money to go to a psychologist. I don't even have money to buy red meat. The economic crisis, religious extremists, suffering, anxiety, the life, uneqality, lack of love, the responsibility of doing everthing is killing me. I'm fucking 21, and never have kissed a girl. I'm 21, and never have felt being loved. I'm fucking 21, and never felt happy. I'm fucking 21, and never felt like a child. I always had something to worry or care for. While you were drinking, having fun, enjoying your life, I never did. I'm 21, and can't say that I've enjoyed life a single second. You had options. I did not.

I'm not in an existential crisis or in depression. These are the truths that I'm dealing with since I'm a child. It's just too hard... Just wanted to rant here, sorry for wasting your time.