Burner account for venting purposes. I'm tired.
I'm tired of working at a bank that never wins M&A. I bet they don't feel this way at Lazard.
I'm tired of the umpteen thousandth pitch where footnotes and alignments are scrutinized when you, me, the guy next door, the MD and the client know that no business will result. There is a higher probability of me getting blown by Kate Upton on my subway ride home than you getting mandated after this shitty pitch. You add no value, sad little MD. They'll just go to Goldman.
I'm tired of having a good attitude. If you come up to me with one more negative value comment, I just might turn that smile upside down and tell you to go fuck yourself.
I'm tired of MDs peacocking all day and speaking large when we all know behind closed doors they're begging clients to return their calls. Just be honest with your team man - you really need to get this deal for your P&L so you're not clinging to the bank's teet for the 3rd year in a row. At least your team will respect you.
I'm tired of the intellectual dishonesty and bullshit artistry plaguing this business. For an industry that pontificates that hard work is the greatest virtue, there is an unbelievable amount of half-assing it and general lack of curiosity throughout. Analyses based on made up bullshit with a +/- 50% margin of error does not demonstrate any "insight" to the client, nor does you turning it 10 times impress me.
I'm tired of the expectations of being a processing machine who is not allowed to have an off day, not allowed to just coast through another meaningless internal committee memo. Nobody gives a shit about these things - why must you pretend that people do when you review them? Moreover, I'm tired of always being held accountable for my trivial oversights, but the ship is steered by MDs who know fuck-all about fuck-all. Clowns who know dick about what they're doing and couldn't identify a valuable insight or meaningful contribution to a client's business if it walked up and hit them in the head.
I'm tired of deluding myself and being around others who are deluded in thinking that we're somehow superior to used car salesmen because we sit in a pretty office atop a tall building punching at keys all day. Finance is not cool. This job does not make you a special person. You're still peddling trinkets. We're glorified private industry bureaucrats. The reason we get paid is because there's a 100% 3 year turnover. They need your body and soul at least for a little while.
This job is balls.
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