Introverts Who Learned to be Successful Networkers?

Hit the gym/get in shape is important--it drastically improves self confidence. Eat right too. You'll have more energy. Play the student card--it is an incredible time for you do to so as you won't be looked as an employed guy trying to change jobs. Ask questions and be genuinely interested. Prepare before meetings so you're not asking things you could look up online in 2 mins time. Make it a point to remember people's names. Take interest in what they do at work, but also outside of work. Lastly, a teacher of mine told me that it's 'who knows you' rather than 'who you know.' I completely agree with this--it's one thing to get 100 business cards at a networking event, but what are the odds any of those people will remember you a month later if you email them? Spend time perfecting your 30 second elevator pitch--I'm sure threads on here about interviewing can help you out if you've never heard of this. Lastly, set small goals each day and work towards them. Tell yourself that you are going to start a conversation with 'X' strangers tomorrow, and then add 1 the next day, and so on. Soon, you'll build a habit of talking to strangers and find that it comes even easier when you're talking about a fun subject (real estate).

you don't need to know every person on earth. a good network does not have to be 500 people. some of the most successful guys I know in the industry are NOT gregarious loudmouths and are in fact the opposite.

My advice: skip those events. From my experience, they are filled with a bunch of junior brokers trying to get listings, or a bunch of "business development associates" from civil engineering/real estate related consultant firms looking for leads.

Decide what you want to do in CRE, then simply reach out to people in the industry for coffee or a quick chat over the phone. Ask them how they got into the industry, what they do now, advice they could give to someone young and in your shoes. This cultivates a more personal relationship with someone, rather than exchanging business cards at an event. Always ask if they reccomend anyone for you to reach out to. This approach also allows you to follow up with them in the future: "hey Bill, we chatted a few weeks ago about X. I noticed that a similar firm is hiring, do you have any insight on that firm you can share, or reccomend anyone I should talk to from there?".

Example of how this worked for me: I was 23 years old at the time, and wanted to shift into a new market (that I had no connections/network in). HFF was hiring in my target market, and I did a LinkedIn search nationwide to find anyone at HFF who either went to my school or was in my fraternity. Found a senior broker from LA who was in my fraternity back in the 80s. I emailed him out of the blue playing on that card, and asked him if he could spare 15 minutes for some career related advice. He was happy to talk to me, shot a personal email to the HFF MD in my target market for an informal intro, and I got an interview. I didn't get the job, due to lack of debt/equity experience, but I do not believe I would have been offered an interview without the referral.

Networking has goten me calls with MDs from at least 30% of the REPE top 50 funds.

My biggest advice would be to try and get them to relate to your position. People love talking about themselves, ask about their time in college and journey to where they are now, what they do for fun, beer, girls ect hahah.

This is going to sound crass and off-base, but how is your sex life?

Networking isn't about being Mr. Popular at the party. You're really just talking shop with people who are in the same industry as you. In the beginning, you are just trying to know the players. As your relationships develop you can start benefiting each other (sharing information, referring deals, etc).

I'd start out going to industry events. Make sure you always have business cards. If you meet someone you think might be a good connection, hand them your card and connect on linkedin.

IMO, good networking is about helping people and seeing how things interconnect. I literally have LinkedIn up all day at work, send out thank you notes to everyone I meet and put them in outlook for later. You are building a network that will be invaluable as you get older so don't rush it.

I'm part of the North Texas ULI group and would recommend trying to get involved with one of the committees are volunteering wherever you can. This really gives you good face time and relationships just happen without you thinking about it. Also, are you going to the Young Leaders Group events? These I feel are much easier for networking than their speaker events.

+1 on the post event drinks

Thanks for the advice guys.

Blake, I actually heard about the Young Leaders program at a ULI author event a couple of weeks ago. It's something that I am actively looking to get involved with.

TNA, networking being about helping people is part of the difficulty. I'm a UG student and have a hard time thinking of ways that I can be helpful to successful people in the industry. For the guys who are already successful, how have students been able to help you (beyond being employed by you)?

jiu jitsu helps even the most self doubting, shy, introverted people gain a lot of confidence

I went from super shy to quite extroverted. I also went from 155 to 230 pounds at 6'5 in the meantime. My new confidence allowed me to network my way into interviews with Google/FB/Uber/LinkedIn/MBB/various BBs.

What worked for me: 1) Read Dale Carnegie's how to make friends and influence people (I read it four times now I think) 2) Speak to two strangers a day. Whatever happens. If you make comfortably make conversations with strangers is awkward settings (train stations at 3am are tough), networking chats are a cakewalk 3) Make a consistent effort to improve your social skills (if you can present/speech/hit on that hot girl, don't dither and seize it) 4) Put in consistent effort in your appearance. Not just lifting and nutrition (altho invaluable in my case, few people take skin and bones seriously), but also dressing/skincare/hair.

It won't be an overnight change, but I guarantee you that if you commit to these things people you haven't seen in a few years won't recognise you.

let The Liquor do the thinking

I just told myself not to be a pussy, and get the other person talking/interested. Nobody gives a shit about your struggle to find a job/what you want to be in 10 years. Talk about things that the other person is interested in (how they got to where they are now, for example). Let them talk/reveal more information to you, which will help you guide the conversation. Get their name/contact info, and follow up with email.

This is a great thread.

For me, a lot of it was just practice and going out. I had a regular crew of wingmen where we didn't just go out together: we would actively critique and motivate each other's interactions at night,

Finding the right mentor also helped. I learned a lot from the old shows (OLD, circa 2008-2012) from a guy named player supreme. His show went downhill after he fell for some race siting but the old stuff is gold and I highly recommend. He's more focused on dealing with women(and the only "guru" who gives off the I impression that he actually understands human interaction) but a lot of what he teaches in the area of conversation and active listening applies to networking.

If you have a REALLY hard time..... try playing Dungeons and Dragons or some other RPG.

No. I am not shitting you. I know some other folks who did and they've all said that playing D&D and having to act out in the role of another character did wonders for both their social skills and their storytelling ability. If you think that you don't ever act out as a character then I think you're full of it. Everyone wears some kind of persona as a mask in public, let alone during networking and interviews.

I have no connection to the networking events or how to address them, per say. If you need help on initial contact, I may be of some help. I had that issue before, but it is slowly going away. I hope what I say can add some solution to your problem.

I started opening doors for random strangers, held the elevators, let people go pass me while doing a quick "hello" conversation. Keep it small and short, if it extends furthest the most should be a name exchange. What does this is it builds up your self confidence in eye contact and posture position.

Hopefully this can at least build your initial conversation so you can feel more relaxed when you are around others. I have made many new friends from all backgrounds just by a simple conversation. Good luck!