Mario - Rational asset allocator, owns a good mix of low-cost index funds and ETFS
Luigi - Incapable of second level thinking, investment theses are that he "believes in it", writes disingenuous Seeking Alpha articles, has sold out at the bottom of every correction since the .com bubble
Princess Peach - Exclusively invests in ideas off of VIC and Sumzero
Yoshi - Options nerd
Koopa - Classic value guy, can quote Munger and Buffett in his sleep, rants about how much he hates std dev as a measurement of risk in his shareholder letters
Daisy - Definitely works for an ESG fund
Lakitu - Quant with a PhD in physics from MIT
Bowser - Hardass deal junkie MD, makes misogynistic comments to female coworkers and sends analysts 14 hours worth of work at 2am telling them "not to burn the midnight oil on this one"
Drybones - Crypto enthusiast, doesn't shut up about blockchain, still lives in his parent's basement
Donkey Kong - Asian debt trader with absolutely no sense of risk, former CDO guy that helped engineer the 2008 crisis
Shy Guy - Mid-size city hedge fund guy who has murdered the market every year since 1990 but no one knows he exists
Waluigi - Exotic options trader, probably worked for LTCM
Wario - Macro hedge fund guy, doesn't sleep, on and off co***ne addict, spends 90% of his day reading news
Comments?
Needs Bowsette.
I like the potential of this thread, do some other characters/universes.
Toad - Received at least $413 million from Toad Sr but claim it was only a $1 million loan.
The mask that swoops around and chases you in SMB2 buys companies out of bankruptcy and strips out the assets
Haha love this.
Kamek - predatory hard money lender
Honestly I really don’t think this is that far off from the truth, good stuff
Nearly had water come out of my nose at Donkey Kong. I just pictured him with that short red tie, mashing on a bunch of keyboard and basically fat-fingering everything on purpose.
All too familiar with the Princess Peach variety. I'm not sure how you thought this up, but it's somehow so perfect.
All the credit for thinking this up goes to adderall
Genius!
King Boo-Distressed debt investor, shows up out of nowhere every time shit hits the fan; does not go away until he gets what he's owed
Bowser Jr.- Legacy intern
lmao +1 for King Boo
Goomba: king of the bag holders. Might still be long TSLA.
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