Investing Styles of Mario Characters

Basketfoot's picture
Rank: Baboon | banana points 154

Mario - Rational asset allocator, owns a good mix of low-cost index funds and ETFS

Luigi - Incapable of second level thinking, investment theses are that he "believes in it", writes disingenuous Seeking Alpha articles, has sold out at the bottom of every correction since the .com bubble

Princess Peach - Exclusively invests in ideas off of VIC and Sumzero

Yoshi - Options nerd

Koopa - Classic value guy, can quote Munger and Buffett in his sleep, rants about how much he hates std dev as a measurement of risk in his shareholder letters

Daisy - Definitely works for an ESG fund

Lakitu - Quant with a PhD in physics from MIT

Bowser - Hardass deal junkie MD, makes misogynistic comments to female coworkers and sends analysts 14 hours worth of work at 2am telling them "not to burn the midnight oil on this one"

Drybones - Crypto enthusiast, doesn't shut up about blockchain, still lives in his parent's basement

Donkey Kong - Asian debt trader with absolutely no sense of risk, former CDO guy that helped engineer the 2008 crisis

Shy Guy - Mid-size city hedge fund guy who has murdered the market every year since 1990 but no one knows he exists

Waluigi - Exotic options trader, probably worked for LTCM

Wario - Macro hedge fund guy, doesn't sleep, on and off cocaine addict, spends 90% of his day reading news

Comments?

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Comments (14)

Oct 9, 2018

Needs Bowsette.

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Most Helpful
Oct 9, 2018

I like the potential of this thread, do some other characters/universes.

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Funniest
Oct 9, 2018

Toad - Received at least $413 million from Toad Sr but claim it was only a $1 million loan.

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Oct 9, 2018

The mask that swoops around and chases you in SMB2 buys companies out of bankruptcy and strips out the assets

    • 5
Oct 9, 2018

Haha love this.

Kamek - predatory hard money lender

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Oct 9, 2018

Honestly I really don't think this is that far off from the truth, good stuff

Oct 9, 2018

Nearly had water come out of my nose at Donkey Kong. I just pictured him with that short red tie, mashing on a bunch of keyboard and basically fat-fingering everything on purpose.

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Oct 14, 2018

All too familiar with the Princess Peach variety. I'm not sure how you thought this up, but it's somehow so perfect.

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Oct 14, 2018

All the credit for thinking this up goes to adderall

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Oct 14, 2018

Genius!

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Oct 14, 2018

King Boo-Distressed debt investor, shows up out of nowhere every time shit hits the fan; does not go away until he gets what he's owed

Bowser Jr.- Legacy intern

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Oct 15, 2018

lmao +1 for King Boo

Oct 19, 2018

Goomba: king of the bag holders. Might still be long TSLA.

Aide-toi, et Dieu t'aidera.

Oct 20, 2018
Comment
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