Major family issue, need to quit SA?
.;
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Yeah do it.
It won't hurt. esp if you are going to be working at a huge fund you should be fine. you should be able to spin it off to something relevant to IB
So you are going to quit this one and do another internship in another country?
Yes, but it probably will be less relevant to IBD and will carry a bigger brand name. Also it will be for a very short duration. I could even just end up carring bags and making coffee there. But with previous experience, i might be able to make a good impression and get relevant work. the firm never hires interns and everything is informal.
Do it.
Personally? It's his life. The only person that can help him, is him. He'll drag you down with him. However, being a brother myself, i'd have loved to go travelling with mine, so for a pure enjoyment bonding angle, do that with him, if you think you're helping him, you'll be sorely disappointed.
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His main issue is WoW. He will do all of the other stuff mentioned just to play WoW.
It really hurt me when he told me how much he hated me because I blocked the game and got my parents on his case. He claims he only sunk so low because he couldn't play WoW. But he might just be trying to guilt me so I'll leave him alone, addicts come up with the craziest plans you know.
I should also mention he recently raged and is now completely against traveling with me - he was OK with it before. The assault was for a really stupid reason.
In my opinion, not only would this be significant enough to change internship for, but I would seriously take time off of school if necessary. Family comes first.
You're a good guy, I say do it. The guys from the boutique you're leaving behind will understand.
do it. family first.
..
I'm not sure if I misread your post, but right off the bat people who use meth aren't going to be helped by going traveling.
I don't mean to come off as rude, but in your effort to help you might just be enabling him more. If he really has all those issues (which I do hope he recovers from) it might be best for him to go into a medical facility that can help him get stable and get a grip on his life. As for your internship, I think you'd just need to pick what will be best in the long run for you career wise. As you already have the responsibility of care-taking your parents (and down the road possibly your brother), the internship that will give you the most connections for a good job $$$ later on would be the most logical.
Good luck :)
I say it's worth a shot, but please listen to the following advice. As mentioned above, this is his problem, not yours. I have a 3 brothers who didn't even graduate from high school, one of which still lives at home and two that sorta live on their own. Neither of the two that are on their own have held any sort of job with any consistency in the last year or so and one (the oldest) hasn't had a job in several years.
The oldest one (the one who hasn't worked in years) has quit everything he's ever started (HS, tech schools, tech schools again, jobs, etc), committed a non-violent felony, served some time, was put on probation and instructed to pay restitution. This was a few years ago. Literally the only money that has been paid toward his restitution has been the money my mother (against my father's wishes) has given him. They live off of food stamps (if they actually go get them) and his gf's two jobs that she works. My two brothers and their gfs, so a total of four people are so damned lazy (minus the one gf) that they can't even pay the rent & utilities in the 1 bedroom apartment they have in nearly the shittiest part of town. I don't know the numbers, but we have to be talking about maybe a couple hundred dollars a month each and they can't manage to do that.
Anyways, not to get sidetracked with my family issues, but the point is this...there is a very fine line between helping someone and enabling them. My parents tried everything to motivate my brother and nothing worked, literally to the point that the only thing left in his room was a bed...which he used to sleep all day. He has no interest in being a productive member of society, he would rather live off of other people and steal just to get by. I am constantly counseling my mother about dealing with her emotions when it comes to them because they always put a guilt trip on her and whine about being hungry (which I am sure they are) and she caves and gives them money. She enables them and allows them to not work because they always have a safety value.
My brother blames my father and says that he is the way he is because my father didn't love him, etc. Obviously this isn't true, my father (who is a law enforcement officer) just didn't care for the shoplifting, stealing, drug use, etc. My parents have spent tons of money trying to help my brother, whether it was paying rent up from so he could find a job, paying for bus passes, taking him around to fill out job applications, in-patient treatment programs, etc. and nothing seems to work. My brother(s) have figured out that someone will always, or so it seems, take care of them or help them out...if it isn't their guilt ridden mother than it will be one sibling here and one sibling there, if they don't step up it will be the gf who works two jobs or the mother of the gf or the state or federal government.
Just be careful, don't allow your brother to become dependent on you, it's the greatest disservice you can do to him. Also remember that love and care can't heal drug addiction, you aren't qualified to assist someone with a severe drug problem so don't think you can and don't think that you are quitting on him if you acknowledge that. Help him seek out assistance, especially for meth.
The bottom line is, you can't care more about somebody's well being/success than they do...because the real victim will ultimately be you, your emotional well being and health. Best of luck.
Regards
I can directly relate to the WoW addiction. I had that at university, and though it was my fault, killed off my chance of a decent grade. Parents went nuts over it, to the point where i came home and found my stuff on the doorstep.
Nothing they did made any difference. I'll send you a PM regarding another possibility, but it might sidetrack the thread. The ending is happy. I got through it, been off the game since the start of the year and have no intention of going back. It got boring for me, and wasnt part of the life i wanted to live. Noone else could have changed that.
Do you want to help, or just want to satisfy the guilty urge you'd get if you do nothing.
T
What do you think you are going to accomplish by traveling with your bro? I think you are being a bit megalomaniacal in thinking that all it's gonna take to "fix him" is being with him. Moreover, giving him more attention because you feel guilt-tripped, is in a way enabling. You don't enable a drug (or any other kind of) addict if you know what's good for him and for you. And you can put yourself in a situation of getting arrested along with him in another country for something he did behind your back.
Little fucker is manipulating all of you, and you are thinking about fucking up your life to play in his game? Keep in mind, that your career will probably be what will support your disabled parents.
Have him sent to rehab, and then to military school. Stop protecting him from the consequences. I would let him sit in jail for at least a couple of days for his assault charge and get a sobering taste that that's what his life will be like if he doesn't stop fucking up.
And for pete's sake, have your parents go to counseling and learn to enforce some boundaries. The fact that YOU had to tell them to cut him off of WoW speaks volumes.
Also your brother is clearly trying to pit your parents against you and prevent you from interfering in the future, by implying that if it wasn't for you cutting of WoW, he wouldn't have become a meth head. meanwhile he probably started doing meth with his WoW buddies in the first place.
this is like combat field medical triage. Spend time with your bro and give up everything you got ahead of you by risking your career potential and possibly the ability to take care of your disabled parents who seem to have raised you correctly. Or you can go take the hard line and cut him out and focus on your career and your parents.
If he serves long enough for you to become rich enough to throw his ass in a comfy resort rehab then go do it and you should not feel guilty in anyway.
Let him figure it out for himself. Do whatever is best for you.
This thread reminded me of a quote I revisit from time to time...
"There are many who find a good alibi far more attractive than an achievement. For an achievement does not settle anything permanently. We still have to prove our worth anew each day: we have to prove that we are as good today as we were yesterday. But when we have a valid alibi for not achieving anything we are fixed, so to speak, for life."
Regards
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