My boss keeps farting... on me.
I don't know how to tell him to stop. He thinks it's the funniest thing in the world but it's disgusting. And he does it on my face! Like literally he stands with his backside toward me and when I'm not ready, he'll rip a loud one and I actually feel the gusts of wind coming from him on my face and in my lungs.
I'm just an intern and need a return offer, and I've never been too good at standing up from myself and I don't know what to do. I started sobbing in the bathroom yesterday trying to wash the smell off, I'm literally becoming depressed.
Before someone says troll, I really do need advice. God, I wish I did IB and not RE.
He is testing you to see if you got in or not. Do not take it to seriously annoying yes, rude yes but keep your nerve.
When I was sobbing in the bathroom, one of the associates found me and told me the same thing. It offered little comfort at the moment and it offers little comfort now.
Should he keep his head up is the real question.
Yes, he should, he is being evaluated if he likes it or not. People are always do this, so best to have a thick skin.
You‘re wrong: BULL OR BEAR? THAT‘S the question
From the Arby's Boys to the Farty Boys
Well my boss enjoys a good Arby's sandwich and Mexican food which makes it all so much worse. It's so bad that it sticks to my clothes, the odor of his gas is becoming a part of my own scent. No one sits next to me because they don't like my "cologne" (as they call it) and all laugh and move away when I get into the office. I literally tear up at the thought of going to work.
Wonder what ever happened to that guy. Hopefully he hopped on the Arbys train and embraced the Arbys boys gang
I'm ded xd
He's testing to see if you have what it takes. You have to fart back. Go to Chipotle tomorrow and order a massive side of beans and chug some protein shakes. Then set up a meeting in the afternoon, walk in, rip ASS (as close to shidding your pant without actually shetting them), then walk out without saying a word and shut the door on your way out. It's the only way to gain his respect and secure a return offer. Best of luck.
This is what others have told me. One of the VPs told me to walk into his office, climb up on his desk, and take a shit in front of him (this VP is old school like that) but alas I lack the nerve.
I’m crying
Some people pay good money for this, you should be grateful he's doing it for free /s
I'm not into all those devil sex acts, this world is burning because of them. I am a Christian, a servant of Jesus Christ.
Amen.
Plug his hole with your thumb so the gas can't escape.
Modern problems require modern solutions
Two can play at this game. Buy a bottle of chit spray and mess w/him.
Buy some liquid ass spray and spray him next time he does this and spray it in his office.
https://www.amazon.com/Liquid-Ass-Mister-Pooter-Bottle/dp/B01JUS9H6K/re…
This has got to be a troll lol. Had a good one thanks.
No sir! This is not a troll post. There was a time when I may have come on wso and made shit post or two, but it was before my boss started farting on me.
Well looks like you learned your lesson then. All fun and games until the man starts ripping ass on you
You need to get some video evidence and save it as leverage.
its battery technically - this is a criminal act - you're a victim, just like this police officer
Man charged with battery after passing gas towards police officer
https://www.kltv.com/story/9073162/man-charged-with-battery-after-passi…
Video record it, then call an employment lawyer.
You'll be crapping all over the company in no time.
This is going too far. He’s a nice guy and I want this connection to last, might help me in the future.
I feel like this is the guy
I thought farts are colorless and u kinda can't video that？
Not sure if you're worried about this, but this is a situation specific enough (I hope) that if your boss reads this forum that he'd recognize this as you.
I don’t care! Let him recognize me. The man FARTS on me!
Alright, why not take the direct confrontation approach then? Also, I'm struggling to figure out how he's able to fart into your face without you noticing... How is that even possible? The back of your head/general direction I get, but into your face? And without you noticing?
Who ever new that RE would be this fucked up.
You’re real lucky to be in IB, real estate is fucked up. The other day one of the analysts got hit with literal dog shit to let him he was doing a shitty job and would be let go.
Eat beans and out-farting him. Make sure he feels his position is threatened.
Yes sir, I’d try but I don’t think I can. He’d enjoy the competition.
Your boss is releasing pheromones - sleep with him for the guaranteed return offer / hush money lawsuit
take a deep breath and bury your face in his ass, make sure the nose matches the groove.
clearly a boutique bank. QUIT. Or sue for harrassment film it and case closed. take in 250k tax free, graduate and travel the world.
Yall put up with a lot of shit for these jobs man.
Ain't no way in hell I'll let a muthafucka do this to me. I hope you're trolling.
This thread is hilarious man, SB'd, but I can't, for the life of me, understand how so many of you don't realize this is an obvious joke. You all deserve to be farted on
If it's a blue fart means it's a boy. One of those new age baby gender revelations.
Are you working at Goldman Sachs?
No, I work for a middle market brokerage in Arkansas.
Really? Your boss is doing this to you? what kind of boss is that?
A most terrible one, sir.
CRE? Cap. Only a few places (think GS/C/JP), specifically S&T (think Rates/Commodities) can produce odors of this sort. Willing to bet half my recent 10% (think 25k) salary raise on this.
We've reached the peak. How can WSO go higher than this?
WSO is going to the moon!!
Alas WSO could go to Mars and it wouldn’t stop the weapons of gas destruction coming from my boss.
You gotta assert your dominance. Next time he gets into position jam your face in his ass and burp aggressively.
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