My boss keeps farting... on me.

I don't know how to tell him to stop. He thinks it's the funniest thing in the world but it's disgusting. And he does it on my face! Like literally he stands with his backside toward me and when I'm not ready, he'll rip a loud one and I actually feel the gusts of wind coming from him on my face and in my lungs.

I'm just an intern and need a return offer, and I've never been too good at standing up from myself and I don't know what to do. I started sobbing in the bathroom yesterday trying to wash the smell off, I'm literally becoming depressed. 

Before someone says troll, I really do need advice. God, I wish I did IB and not RE.

 

When I was sobbing in the bathroom, one of the associates found me and told me the same thing. It offered little comfort at the moment and it offers little comfort now.

 

PeRmAnEnTiNtErN

Should he keep his head up is the real question.  

Yes, he should, he is being evaluated if he likes it or not. People are always do this, so best to have a thick skin.

SafariJoe, wins again!
 

Well my boss enjoys a good Arby's sandwich and Mexican food which makes it all so much worse. It's so bad that it sticks to my clothes, the odor of his gas is becoming a part of my own scent. No one sits next to me because they don't like my "cologne" (as they call it) and all laugh and move away when I get into the office. I literally tear up at the thought of going to work. 

 

Bootstrap

From the Arby's Boys to the Farty Boys

I'm ded xd

"The obedient always think of themselves as virtuous rather than cowardly" - Robert A. Wilson | "If you don't have any enemies in life you have never stood up for anything" - Winston Churchill | "It's a testament to the sheer belligerence of the profession that people would rather argue about the 'risk-adjusted returns' of using inferior tooth cleaning methods." - kellycriterion
 

He's testing to see if you have what it takes. You have to fart back. Go to Chipotle tomorrow and order a massive side of beans and chug some protein shakes. Then set up a meeting in the afternoon, walk in, rip ASS (as close to shidding your pant without actually shetting them), then walk out without saying a word and shut the door on your way out. It's the only way to gain his respect and secure a return offer. Best of luck. 

To live is to suffer, to survive is to find some meaning in the suffering.
 

This is what others have told me. One of the VPs told me to walk into his office, climb up on his desk, and take a shit in front of him (this VP is old school like that) but alas I lack the nerve.

 

I'm not into all those devil sex acts, this world is burning because of them. I am a Christian, a servant of Jesus Christ. 

 

 I am a Christian, a servant of Jesus Christ. 

Amen.

"If you always put limits on everything you do, physical or anything else, it will spread into your work and into your life. There are no limits. There are only plateaus, and you must not stay there, you must go beyond them." - Bruce Lee
 

Plug his hole with your thumb so the gas can't escape.

 

No sir! This is not a troll post. There was a time when I may have come on wso and made shit post or two, but it was before my boss started farting on me.

 

You need to get some video evidence and save it as leverage. 

"If you always put limits on everything you do, physical or anything else, it will spread into your work and into your life. There are no limits. There are only plateaus, and you must not stay there, you must go beyond them." - Bruce Lee
 

No sir! This is not a troll post. There was a time when I may have come on wso and made shit post or two, but it was before my boss started farting on me.

its battery technically - this is a criminal act - you're a victim, just like this police officer

Man charged with battery after passing gas towards police officer

https://www.kltv.com/story/9073162/man-charged-with-battery-after-passi…

"If you always put limits on everything you do, physical or anything else, it will spread into your work and into your life. There are no limits. There are only plateaus, and you must not stay there, you must go beyond them." - Bruce Lee
 

I don’t care! Let him recognize me. The man FARTS on me! 

 

You’re real lucky to be in IB, real estate is fucked up. The other day one of the analysts got hit with literal dog shit to let him he was doing a shitty job and would be let go.

 

Yes sir, I’d try but I don’t think I can. He’d enjoy the competition.

 

Yall put up with a lot of shit for these jobs man.

Ain't no way in hell I'll let a muthafucka do this to me. I hope you're trolling. 

 

We've reached the peak. How can WSO go higher than this?

"The obedient always think of themselves as virtuous rather than cowardly" - Robert A. Wilson | "If you don't have any enemies in life you have never stood up for anything" - Winston Churchill | "It's a testament to the sheer belligerence of the profession that people would rather argue about the 'risk-adjusted returns' of using inferior tooth cleaning methods." - kellycriterion
 

WSO is going to the moon!!
 

Alas WSO could go to Mars and it wouldn’t stop the weapons of gas destruction coming from my boss. 

 

You gotta assert your dominance. Next time he gets into position jam your face in his ass and burp aggressively.

"The obedient always think of themselves as virtuous rather than cowardly" - Robert A. Wilson | "If you don't have any enemies in life you have never stood up for anything" - Winston Churchill | "It's a testament to the sheer belligerence of the profession that people would rather argue about the 'risk-adjusted returns' of using inferior tooth cleaning methods." - kellycriterion
 

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"If you always put limits on everything you do, physical or anything else, it will spread into your work and into your life. There are no limits. There are only plateaus, and you must not stay there, you must go beyond them." - Bruce Lee
 

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