Other analyst doesn't like me, unsure what to do
So I am in a group for a MM, and our team runs thin. There are two analysts: a senior analyst, and a junior analyst (me).
The issue I'm facing is that I don't really think I am a good fit with the other analyst. The MD and I are pretty good friends (I think); sometimes he'll pull me into his office for 30 mins to an hour to just shoot the shit and talk about random stuff (wine, art, cars, food, has invited me wine tasting, etc.). I would classify the Director as a pretty neutral guy--he gets that I'm just starting and tries to get me doing things when it makes sense. Associate is super helpful and is upbeat, pretty busy but generally makes time for me and is a solid team member. Our senior analyst though...I can't tell whether she doesn't like me or we just aren't a good match with each other.
We can work together I guess, but it seems that our relationship is purely work related--and not really friendly/personable whatsoever. I would think that the other analyst is someone that you'd would want to get along well with because we're working so closely together all the time and sit with each other...especially because we're a tiny group.
I have two theories: one--our personalities are just super different and we weren't really "destined" to get along, and 2--she just kinda has a stick up her ass and is a massive hardo (possibly because she's the only girl in the group?). Part of me also thinks she might be a little annoyed that our MD for some reason really likes me and purely talks about work with her (theory 3 maybe?). Frankly, we all know she's a superstar analyst--but I've never seen my boss just come over and shoot the shit with her.
I'm wondering if I should just put my head down and face the music that we probably won't ever be "friends" or anything...but simply just co-exist and do work together.
Would like to hear from people who have been in this situation, or can provide some sort of advice on how to move forward. It doesn't seem like the best start to my analyst stint so far....
She probably doesn't like you because you're a worse (in her opinion) analyst then her but the boss likes you better.
If its not that, whats wrong with a purely work relationship? As long as you're cool with everyone else does ONE holdout really matter?
I can see it just being uncomfortable when the person you work with the most, is the person who likes you the least.
You could reach out in a very (and I stress VERY here, so it can't be taken as any sort of harassment...) kind way and saying "We work a lot together so I've naturally just noticed that you're not as happy as you used to be. I really hope it's not me, but if it is, let me know if there's anything I can improve on."
If she responds flatly, then she's just a dick and she'll get in trouble eventually with that type of attitude. But maybe she's just unhappy with the work, or maybe there's something in her personal life. Who knows? Or maybe it is you, but you're taking initiative in trying to actively improve. How can anyone not like that? If it is something you're doing, you can fix it, and then everyone's happy because your quality of work improves (by getting feedback from her) and her relationship with you is improved (I'm sure no one WANTS to be unhappy).
The main thing is to be as humble as possible in doing so.
............
It doesn't matter. You won't be good friends with everyone you work with over the course of your career and it's ok. Work well with them, produce good product/service/results and that's it. You're colleagues, not dorm mates. Don't approach her out of the blue and say something unless it's affecting your work or she's outwardly hostile to you.
Wintercoat being silly
Wtf? That would be super weird.
Wintercoat being silly
No offense intended, but do not buy her a gift (completely inappropriate in any office environment) and do not patronize her by saying things in front of the MD unless you're directly asked. That's like saying "look at her MD, she's such a good puppy." She's the senior analyst and like I said, you do not have to be friends with everyone you work with. As long as she isn't actively sabotaging your work or being outright mean, just keep your head down and do your work. I've done some of my best work with other people when we weren't friends (not enemies) and I've been good friends with people in the office and we didn't work well together.
It sounds like you haven't been there too long so maybe after a few more months or a year she'll warm up or if/when the group goes out for drinks try to talk to her on a more social level but don't get drunk and ask why she doesn't high five you and give you chest bumps when you walk onto the floor. If she wasn't performing or her personality was greatly disrupting things she wouldn't be working there.
You also have no idea why she acts the way she does. Maybe that's just her and it has nothing to do with you. Maybe something's going on in her personal life. Maybe she's fucking the MD. Don't ask or probe.
I should probably just put my head down and listen to your advice, but I just want to reiterate a couple of things:
1- I didn't mean just give HER a gift. Are gifts a no-no all across the board? Or is this gender specific? What if you give one to everyone in the group (there's only like 5 people)? Like I said, it shouldn't be random (Christmas). And sometimes your associate keeps talking about starting a matcha tea cleanse and they never get to buying the dam sachets. Wouldn't you appreciate it if I casually picked it up for you and didn't make it weird?
2- Obviously I didn't mean he should go out of his way to compliment her in front of the MD. I mean't it more in a setting where everyone is chatting and the opportunity comes up. I can't see how being thankful/saying someone is a great mentor could be a negative. I didn't phrase my initial advice properly but you know what I mean.
I've seen gifts given in small groups, especially to people for something specific they did that they didn't have to do. It gives plausible deniability that you're not brown-nosing or being creepy even though you clearly are. If done right women love that shit...
But in terms of the OP yea I agree with comments above that the girl is probably pretty cunty and you should just let her boil quiety until she implodes
I've worked with people like that in the past. Best thing to do is do your job well and just have a simple working relationship with her.
I get it maybe be uncomfortable at times, but this is one of those moments where you have to just stick it out. It's not going to be forever.
Enjoy networking with your other colleagues, stay humble and eventually.. In a few months time when your just as good with the technical stuff, you yourself won't give a shit about her.
Only reason your beating your head over this is because, right now.. she's better than you and you feel slightly insecure cause of it.
My advice: let it go. Seriously, why do you care? If you must do something nice for her, say you're getting coffee and ask if she'd like anything. But really, LET IT GO. You have one person's opinion to gain, but so much to lose.
Sounds like she is into you.
Yeah, she's playing hard to get.
One major difference between the working world and school/college is that you cannot choose the people you spend your time with. Think about it, in school and college you could for the most part pick your friends and pick who you wanted to avoid. The grown up world is not like that and we often have to work with people who we either don't have a lot on common with, don't get on with or flat out don't like.
The person I do most of my work with is a different gender, different age group, has a completely different work mentality to me and completely different interests. Needless to say we are not best buds but we put it aside and work professionally together, it's part of being a grown up.
It sounds like you are in a similar situation but you are taking it personally...don't. Get on with it, be professional and realize you cannot be best friends with everybody.
I don't know what these guys are talking about. You should definitely get her a gift.
Two suggestions: a vacuum cleaner and an ironing board
The best gift would be a sandwich-maker TBH..
buy her a god damn dildo.
Seems like she needs to blow off some steam but can't because of the hours.
Minus eveniet qui perspiciatis quo iste. Exercitationem harum amet incidunt dolorum.
Provident odio ut explicabo ipsa dolor molestiae. Corporis quidem maxime voluptates excepturi aliquid laborum dolorem est. Doloribus molestiae et a distinctio. Ad omnis eligendi veniam maiores.
Quod provident dolorem corrupti eius ut. Voluptas voluptatum eum tenetur nobis. Ratione voluptate repellat blanditiis voluptatum.
Qui earum eos repellendus nostrum dicta voluptatibus. Consequatur sed nam non voluptatem voluptatum beatae. Eligendi recusandae veritatis et qui.
See All Comments - 100% Free
WSO depends on everyone being able to pitch in when they know something. Unlock with your email and get bonus: 6 financial modeling lessons free ($199 value)
or Unlock with your social account...