Does making it in IB mean killing your personality?
I am just genuninely trying to figure out if anyone's been through something similar.
Little background about me. I am at a place thats considered a super target, two MM internships by end of Y1 (generalist coverage role + M&A this summer), a boutique from end of high school, really good GPA and I would say my technicals are strong. Old childhood friend of mine at BB who would realistically refer me in the Y3 cycle.
The issue is I feel like a huge poser. I have been alternative legit since childhood. How I dress, what i listen to or the people I just hanged out with. Not that I didn't hang out with other people I am just saying i hung out mostly with those types of people. I already took all my piercings out before I came here(luckily didn't have any crazy piercings that would scar my face), and as long as I never go swimming in my life covering tattoos should be fine, which sounds obviously insane when I say it out loud. I am in a slim-fit everything now and dress semi-formal most days. I obviously don't really mind that I mean its part of the game and I get that. The part where it gets impossible is that conformity pressure isnt just about what you wear to some superday or a client dinner, but it legit bleeds into all types of social life layers. I am sure none of you would be shocked if I said that people get looked down (to some degree either silent or just in a close friend group) if they move with baggy jeans, and I dont even mean insanely baggy ones. the 'culture' is just extremely self-selective and to pretend otherwise would be cope.
So now I've got two social circles that obviously can't overlap. The campus isn't that huge and there is obviously a clear gap between how I would carry myself in each group. It would become basically impossible to explain cleanly. It's not just the 'dress for the room' type of problem, but its physically not possible to run a double life where you hide a set of friends from the other one on a campus I go to daily. A girl I was seeing a while back literally also made it feel like I was choosing a side and that i seemed like a different person depending who I was around I mean it would literally be impossible to even have two friend groups. What if I ever cross a friend group when im hanging out with another one? Any normal person would feel like im being an untruthful fake person with the other group (most likely both would feel the same way). It is also pretty much impossible to make friends with those interests here as if I were to regularly approach people they would be much more hesitant from a finance bro dressed dude. If it was just 'dress formal to uni and work' I would be fine with it but it just doesn't work that way. I feel like I genuinely have to make some sort of choice between the industry or just being myself. Is there a middle ground I am missing or something.
Based on the most helpful WSO content, your situation resonates with a common struggle many face when entering the finance world, especially in investment banking (IB). The culture in IB can indeed feel self-selective and conformity-driven, often extending beyond professional attire into personal identity and social interactions. Here's what you need to know:
Conformity Pressure in IB:
Dual Identity Struggles:
Cultural Shifts in Finance:
Finding a Middle Ground:
Mental Health and Self-Preservation:
Ultimately, while IB culture can feel stifling, it's important to remember that your individuality is an asset, not a liability. Finding ways to integrate your authentic self into your professional life, even in small ways, can help you thrive without feeling like you're sacrificing who you are.
Sources: Finance Culture - Personalities, Finance Culture - Personalities, Apple Corporate Finance?
I think the main thing that'll help you is just to own it. Those things make you a more interesting person and if you're good at your job, generally friendly/easy to work with, and are confident in yourself and and how you present then people will respect it. There can definitely be times where I start feeling a little corporate drone-y and have felt less connected to my less corporate-y circles but making sure you make time for your passions and regularly go out and embrace that side of yourself all-out will help
Watch Severance and perfect your performance of that particular form of on-the-clock-lobotomy and you’ll be just fine.
You can stay interesting if you try
I just graduated and had similar feelings here - except not in IB, but dual degree in Finance & CS. Except I grew up in grunge, in tech, and too much internet so you can kind of imagine the amalgamation of character that isn't widely accepted in Finance.
The time in business school took me a while to get used to and it was genuinely awful because of how standard everyone else was compared to the characters in CS & STEM. Everyone likes F1 listens to drake says you know ball to literally everything and etc. I think you have to conform to some bit, but not entirely. You don't have to like everything 1:1, but you can just like part of it and then the rest be whatever your default character is and your interests. Show the more palatable parts piece by piece of whatever your niche interest is and do not start off with asking do you listen to Bladee and surely they'll come around.
Regardless, I understand where you're coming from with all the watchful eyes and commenting if you were seen with your non-finance friends from your finance classmates, but realistically I've found that as long as you're completely above them in terms of internships your social value doesn't degrade as much as you think it does, then they'll be the fake ones unfortunately. I don't think your friend groups will ever mix unfortunately never had it happen for me or have seen it happen so just make sure you keep both outlets. Your personality will not be lost as long as you have a nice mix of both, but if you go off onto the Finance side you can always claw your personality back through visiting back so don't worry it comes back with the right people.
Regarding girls, if they are ones saying that you're picking a side I think you dodged a great bullet. Personal experience has not hindered me one bit and actually saw more success because I was more "unique".
Also seems like you're in non NA cause of uni, but if tattoos were really that egregious then idk, only got great comments in US, but tbf I did get some common tattoo and some other ones just non showy one if I was in a tee.
Coming from a similar background to you, but I also can fit in very well to my pretty fratty/drinking culture BB coverage group, and had a similar identity crisis later in school as well. I think the point about owning it is right, and that you sort of become what you fill your days with. I think it's probably hard to ignore that a part of you probably does enjoy the intellectual rigor, the competitiveness, and probably some of the social aspects of finance or at least can fit in. On the other hand, you can't ignore who you are and you need to feed the side of you that likes whatever alternative things you're into.
Also, I think you'll find that once you get out of university, adults are a lot less judgmental and would probably find you more interesting and it might surprise you to find out who's secretly also fan of the things you like. Nobody is going to care if you went to an obscure concert that weekend, and if they do, who cares? Obviously, meter your expectations... an MD probably won't care about your love for Godspeed You! Black Emperor, but not that you need to really win that social battle on that front anyway - pick and choose your battles. E.g. I would show up to club meetings with baggy jeans, hoodie, and some jewelry, but I had good ideas and people generally respect that more than anything - but it's tough when you're just starting out in university and trying to come off the right way. I think it's totally fine, albeit hard to see now, to be a different person to different people. You wouldn't interact with your professor the same way you would your parents, or your friends from high school, or your boss. Go smoke that joint, go binge that anime, go listen to whatever you want and do it for you - if anything, I think a lot more people in this job would like to be more interesting and you'll realize what you have is a blessing not a curse.
Baggy jeans aren't cool anymore anyways. Get into hedi and fashion mog the rest of your coworkers.
they're back apparently. it's trendy again among teens now. hoping for comeback of Nu Metal.
Retard alert 🔔
Long story short, yes. As a top bucket A2A, it slowly is killing me and making me more dull. Trying to figure out how to get it back as i think about next steps.
In consulting and I would say for our lead partner in our practice, yes - I feel consulting likely killed his personality in some ways. I know some other seniors on other teams who've straight up told me they don't like working with him. Everything about him feels so transactional and old school mentality (do it my way or the highway). He brings in a lot of projects but his lifestyle and personality is so intensely focused around work that I would hate to be like that in 15-20 years.
On the other hand, the partner I'm closest to enjoys his WLB / time with family, has a great professional network outside of our firm, very high EQ - extremely easy to get along with. If he somehow got let go at our firm, I have no doubt the large C-suite Rolodex he has in his network would be open to helping him land somewhere else at a similar senior level. He probably makes a fraction of what the above partner makes but his life seems a whole lot more fulfilling.
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