How to be satisfied
Hello everyone,
This will sound retarded af and I'm aware of that, but there's no one in my life I can speak about these things.
I'm an incoming A1 at a weaker EB (not PJT /EVR/CVP), and getting into IB, let alone a BB/EB has been my ambition since I found out about the industry when I was 17. I would have jumped at the opportunity to even start working at a MM shop since I don't come from money nor do I have any connections, but now that it's already done, I can't just be happy with me having "made it" and breaking into the industry. I constantly keep thinking about why Im not at a better bank or even joined an MF out of undergrad, and I'm aware how ridiculous this type of thinking / comparison is.
Curious to know if anyone else has experienced such thoughts
You’re self aware enough to know that this is a retarded way of thinking, but not quite self aware enough to get over it.
Figure it out.
I'm aware of that and was looking for insight on how to abandon that type of mindset - if your point is "figure it out yourself", why even bother commenting?
Because I, nor anyone else, can figure it out for you. Do you want to go through life insecure and crushed by envy, or would you rather be happy?
Nothing is stopping you from trying to lateral or rerecruit.
In 10 years I doubt this matters and 99% chance you won’t still be in IB then
bro u'll make 200k out of college and will have decent/ok shots at MFs and def UMMs. Just enjoy life and if it really hurts, just lateral. most of the shitposters dont have jobs on here.
Tbh idk the answer but I’m laughing my ass off reading the replies so far of dudes being like “just lateral”. I feel like he’s asking “how do I be happy where I am without lateraling to a better bank”. Let me know if u find the answer
Try to understand what‘s causing this feeling of inadequacy and why you feel like you should‘ve done better. You first have to understand and label this inner conflict before trying to accept and eventually resolve it.
Common examples why you could feel this way are: the fear of falling behind and being excluded by your peers, the fear of not being enough for a potential partner/spouse, or not meeting the expectations of your parents. Just to name a few.
Note that most if not all of these fears are based on primal behavioural patterns and usually are irrational. Don‘t just ignore these signs and try „to lateral somewhere else“. You‘ll only delay facing this conflict.
While a healthy drive to achieve more is essential in pushing yourself, do it because you want to not because you feel pressured to achieve more.
Final note: be aware in this Type A personality environment you‘ll always find someone telling you to suck it up and just try harder. While this works for some, I don‘t think this will solve your problems down the road.
In case no one told you: You are doing really well - best of luck!
Thank you very much for taking the time to share your thoughts, especially the internal labelling & attribution point is very helpful!
I think it's probably also related to being used during adolescence to be successful and smart, and therefore building part of my identity on being smart and successful, which obv doesn't work that well since there's always a smarter, more successful fish out there.
Wait til you find out about the fish that is 10x dumber than you but vastly more successful. That is what broke me back in the day: a dude that basically mentally retarded walking away with a $50m paycheck at age 32 because he somehow was involved with a company he didn't even understand.
Imo nothing wrong with lateraling to a better for better deal flow or CVP level C-Suite exposute but on a real note it seems like ur just doing IB for the prestige and the title. I think that right now all you know about the job is the prestige and exit ops and once u actually start you will understand whether u really like it or not.
Congrats on JPM LEVFIN
What are you referring to / how is JPM LevFin relevant
I think it comes down to the fact you realize despite all your stress and work and chasing of prestige you will not have a yacht or Bugatti or penthouse in your 20s or 30s. That’s enough to make you shut up and just live your life lil bro.
You mean it's irrelevant if you're at GS or another firm bc you won't get rich anyways/ lifestyle will roughly be the same anywhere in the finance rat race?
Yes man it’s exactly what I mean. All those people who are at whatever firms doing whatever are still no richer than the other and vice versa. Even if they do mfpe they still scrapping by . Even if they do a startup they are scrapping by. No one doing any of these things are getting a mega yacht or Bugatti or pent house they are grinding just for status it’s alone and flex. So live your live as is and don’t feel bad about where you work. All these things are is nice cages
In general, after attending an HYP school, you realize that across the board, everyone is the same whether they go into MBB, startups, or investment banking. It’s all about the someday that never comes. Most people’s career ladders cap out, and the high cost of living in SF and NYC eats away at their earnings. As for startups, they usually fail and never hit unicorn status. And everyone is always grinding.
We’re all in the same rat race. No one is better than anyone else everyone is the same. The idea of prestige, in general, is an illusion used to distract others from how hollow the grind for status or validation really is. You’re too busy chasing the next big carrot or validation loop to notice. And it’s all reinforced by the need for money anyway, which commits you to this path.
Reality of the situation is there will always be someone “better” than you. Even if you were at a MF, there’s someone your age making multiples of that salary, now and over career, doing some other kind of job (started their own company, daddy’s money, etc). There’s no winning in this game, by your standard, unless you’re Musk or Bezos.
I would not call them two winners…ones got the ‘tism and the other is a revenge of the nerds manchild
Bezos and musks are still slaves. They are just like everyone else performing for other peoples approval and shit. No reason to put them on a pedestal. They are very insecure like the rest of us.
Just trying to make a point that if OP’s metric of success is wealth and status, and his problem is that there’s people “better” than him, then there is no winning until you get to the very top because those are the only people who, by this metric, no one is “better” than. And you’ve furthered my point, it’s likely that even they are insecure and unhappy, so why judge yourself by this metric to begin with; it’s idiotic, in that it’s a game where no one is truly happy and one where there is practically no one who doesn’t lose
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