Please Help A Depressed Gambling Addict Cope
Hey guys,
Last night I gambled the last of my savings away. Part of me wanted to cry in defeat, but another part was happy, in a way, as this challenges me to start fresh from ground zero again (or at least I hope).
Currently about me -- I'm 24, spent my first two years in banking and am now working in Corp Dev. I've dreamed of the cushy Finance lifestyle since my days in college, which also encouraged me to play around with risky investments and the casino -- what initially felt like money printing essentially became a grappling addiction, and I've had far too many 3-6am nights cleaned either in the parking lot of a casino or in front of my computer. Over the past five years, I've probably lost close to ~$200-$300K; at my age, I'm embarrassed to say that my net worth is zero.
Where I stand -- I even pulled some debt (~$10K) and I have big life moves coming up soon (moving, getting a dog, etc.) but my finances are still awful and I am so depressed. I hate to say it, but I feel like ending things as I don't really know if I have faith in myself to truly quit gambling -- quite frankly, I think I'll never be able to escape this given my compulsive and obsessive personality. My girlfriend has no clue I'm doing this to top things off, and it's created some volatility in dynamics as I typically let the performance of my gambling control my personality.
Does anyone have relatable experience? Or possibly have any two cents regarding the coping / recovery from here?
Try to be transparent with your significant other. If you are comfortable enough, It should offer support as well as someone to double check on your spending.
first things first, congratulate yourself on admitting you have a problem. that's the first step to healing. while it's not going to be an easy road, it'd be an impossible road if you never faced the problem head on.
second, I would seek therapy as this is an addiction much like a substance or other potentially harmful activity. a qualified addiction specialist is necessary here (not a title, but you get my gist)
third, don't trust willpower, trust systems. cut of all media that involves gambling, even something as benign as draftkings instagram, block people's numbers who you used to bet with, use a random password generator for whatever gambling sites you were on and then don't save the password, I would also not watch sports for a while or only watch replays after the fact.
fourth, you clearly have a need for a rush, find something else to fill that void, and I'd personally try to find something physical that gives you the thrill of victory, the agony of defeat, but has limited downside. if it were me, I'd become addicted to martial arts
finally, stop lamenting your finances. my net worth at 24 was way more negative than yours, and I've seen people with net worths that are negative 6 figures at 30 become millionaires by 40 (and they didn't even found their own company), so you can dig yourself out of this
I'll stop there, keep your head up kid, I'm rooting for you
This might be weird advice, but maybe try watching others play slots on Twitch - a ton of comments I see from former gamblers saying that watching others gamble satisfies the itch for them and they use it as an outlet, rather than doing it themselves.
Or try online multiplayer games that are competitive. The competing part might satisfy the itch.
I lost $6000 one time on gambling as a sophomore in college and it was absolutely devastating. I think every day what I could've done with that money. But block the gambling sites, I think there's software you can get that will do that. I currently scratch my gambling itch with crypto trading and yield farming - it's like gambling, but you'll actually come out ahead unless you do really stupid stuff.
this, has the same rush if you ask me. especially with risky coins and Dex's
But is it any different than gambling? I'm sure there are some patterns and some investors buy cryptos for the technology, but shitcoin ranked number 65 on Binance is probably not based on some novel new idea
What kind of gambling? You can’t lose all that money and not have some good stories.
If it’s poker I recommend the following coach:
https://turbokingspoker.com
His Instagram:
https://instagram.com/bfizz11?utm_medium=copy_link
Congratulations for encouraging a gambling addict to gamble even more you retard
Fuck off you anonymous intern - there is a way to win at poker. You have to play by a certain set of rules though which can be taught.
Great comeback fallacy by the way. You really strengthened your argument with the name calling.
OP's issue is self control, not his gambling prowess. He lost $200-300K at only 24 years old. It's an addiction, and he will not be able to finesse his way out of his lost earnings with poker. Suggesting that he get out of an incredibly destructive gambling habit by partaking in other forms of gambling, even if more strategic in nature, at best comes across as tone deaf and at worst offers him false hope that will cause him to double down on his bad habits.
I do not intend to sound harsh here, but I really do not believe it is in OP's best interest to play poker.
Oh ok understood
Also, if you still want to gamble for money for free, there is a nightly 7pm freeroll on Carbon Poker. You don’t have to deposit anything and can play from your computer or phone.
I"ve been wondering. Isn't nline gabling illegal at the fed level in the states? i guess i could google it but f google
It’s not illegal. But, certain companies like Poker Stars are banned except in NJ.
Have some experience with a topic like this. Although a much smaller scale, I blew 25k that I had saved in college playing poker and felt like my life was over. I was not only defeated, but embarrassed that I could be such a royal fuck up (especially after working my ass off to save it). But as you mentioned, it kinda lifted a piano off of my back. I took some time to reflect where I want to be in 2,5,10+ years and came to the realization that giving into the selfish urge of gambling it away would not only inhibit me being able to live the lifestyle I wanted to live in the near (and far) future, but would probably lead me in a direction of giving into my desires instead of prioritizing what is important.
The analogy I thought of related to sports- did Steph Curry become the greatest shooter in the history of basketball because he gave into his desires and urges? I'm sure he had the same thoughts as everyone else; partying, chasing girls and having fun all the time. The only difference was he probably never let it come in between of his priorities- in his case, shooting hundreds/thousands of shots everyday. I'm sure he had his fair share of partying, chasing girls and having fun. But he never let it come in the way of what was important to him.
The same applied to me and applies to you. I'm not telling you to never gamble again. I'm not even telling you to stop. But the next time you see money in your account and consider using it to gamble, think to yourself if it is more important than where you want to be. If it isn't, then all power to you. But if it is (which in your case, it is), then consciously remind yourself that you're sacrificing what is important to you by giving into your selfish, short-sighted urges.
I know exactly how it feels, man. I did the same thing. But your life isn't over yet. You can live the life you want next year, 5 years from now and when you retire but it starts with the little things. Remind yourself that you're not weak and that the weak choice to is to give into the urge to gamble. Later in life you can look back with millions saved in your account and remember the strength and commitment you took to get there- and remembering just how much you deserve the life you want to live
You need another, healthier fixation. Give five other things a shot and see if they stick. No one ruins their life (within reason) with a cooking or hiking habit. Try to learn a new skill and practice healthy levels of engagement and participation. With a clean slate in the activity, you can start fresh and try to only do it right. You will get to practice better habits that you can apply the next time you encounter gambling,
After losing your first $50k, didn't you step back and say, gee, this may not be the best idea? Just curious to get your thoughts and mindset
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