Re: What should I do to marry a rich guy?

JamesDimon's picture
Rank: Monkey | banana points 50

Guess there are lots of girls out there who have similar questions. Please allow me to analyse your situation as a professional investor. My annual income is more than $25M, so I hope everyone believes that I'm not wasting time here.

From the standpoint of a business person, it is a bad decision to marry you. The answer is very simple, so let me explain. Put the details aside, what you're trying to do is an exchange of "beauty" and "money": Person A provides beauty, and Person B pays for it, fair and square. However, there's a deadly problem here, your beauty will fade, but my money will not be gone without any good reason. In fact my income might increase from year to year, but you can't be prettier year after year. Hence from the viewpoint of economics, I am an appreciation asset, and you are a depreciation asset. It's not just normal depreciation, but exponential depreciation. If that is your only asset, your value will be much worse 10 years later. By the terms we use in Wall Street, every trading has a position, dating with you is also a "trading position". If the trade value dropped we will sell it and it is not a good idea to keep it for long term - same goes with the marriage that you wanted. It might be cruel to say this, but in order to make a wiser decision any assets with great depreciation value will be sold or "leased".

Anyone with over $500k annual income is not a fool; we would only date you, but will not marry you. I would advice that you forget looking for any clues to marry a rich guy. And by the way, you could make yourself to become a rich person with $500k annual income. This has better chance than finding a rich fool.

Hope this helps.

Jamie

Mod Note (Andy): top 50 posts of 2017, this one ranks #33 (based on # of silver bananas)

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Comments (14)

May 14, 2017
May 14, 2017

This must get posted every few months on this forum.

    • 4
May 14, 2017

Nice copy paste brah

    • 5
Best Response
May 14, 2017

Banana farming at its finest, folks.

    • 11
May 15, 2017

I don't see how banana farms are relevant...

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May 14, 2017

This is the real Jamie Dimon omg...

    • 1
May 18, 2017

Jamie Dimon, still an orangutan.....meh

GoldenCinderblock: "I keep spending all my money on exotic fish so my armor sucks. Is it possible to romance multiple females? I got with the blue chick so far but I am also interested in the electronic chick and the face mask chick."

May 14, 2017

This was a great post when I read it 10 years ago. Literally this has been around for at least 10 years.

May 18, 2017

It's been so overused, even on 9gag, tumblr, reddit, etc. I remember reading this when I was in high school...

GoldenCinderblock: "I keep spending all my money on exotic fish so my armor sucks. Is it possible to romance multiple females? I got with the blue chick so far but I am also interested in the electronic chick and the face mask chick."

    • 1
May 15, 2017

At least have the decency of correcting the grammar if you are going to copy paste. For fuck sake it's expected to write poorly on original content, but here... What a fucking disaster, and yeah - it was funny 10 years ago.

May 15, 2017

8 million sugar babies!! there are certainly a lot o fish in the sea.

https://www.seekingarrangement.com/about-us/

May 17, 2017

What's @DickFuld saying about it ?

Dec 26, 2017

As someone who use this site for close to 10 years, can we take off these so called entertaining characters? (i.e. JamesDimon). If we don't do that, WSO will become something like "Business Insider". Although I can understand the appeal of having entertainment content, WSO would be best served on focusing quality contents on getting people into high finance industry and growing/progressing their careers. Thanks.

Dec 27, 2017
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