Relocating With Your SO

dtowninv's picture
Rank: Baboon | 126

I'm relocating with my wife this summer for a (hopefully) partner-track PE role, to a city neither of us are too familiar with, but within driving distance to her family. She initially thought she'd be able to transfer with her current company, but it doesn't seem like there's going to be a spot. We both agree that eventually she's going to stop working when we have a family, and so we're willing to move and invest in my career. But right now she has a career track job with a good firm and it's incredibly stressful for her to uproot that security and have to find something else. I've been told relocating with a SO is one of the hardest things you'll deal with, but I'm still finding it incredibly strenuous on our overall well being, and I'm not even sure how to help!

Anyone else ever relocate with a spouse for career-purposes? How did it end up? How do you support your SO who's giving up their career so you can pursue yours?

Comments (3)

Jun 7, 2019


Jun 7, 2019

I have some experience with this:
Before Finance, my SO and I were both in music performance that were going to finish(transfer) at top music schools. I got into THE school for nonclassical performance in the world. I settled for a really good school in-state that offered excess in scholarships. My SO got a scholarship also, but it wasn't enough to really cover her. So she decided to just work instead of take out debt to finish. We continued to grow apart in many ways for many reasons, and eventually ended things after 5.5 years very badly. I fell in love with someone who was passionate and driven like myself, but that definitely changed after we relocated. Her ambition vanished and was all play outside of work while I was still in school trying to transition to finance(long story there). We ended up having separate friend groups and interests. I'll just cut it there and say shit got really really bad, but things are great now... not with her though.

Key points:
Make sure she finds a fulfilling path that works for both of you. BSD PE Partner or not, she needs to be happy with herself, and you have to be happy with whatever that is.
Over communicate. #1 thing for anything relationship-based.
Recognize each other's situations, responsibilities, and sacrifices.
Best of Luck

JUST DO IT. Don't let your memes be dreams.

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Jun 7, 2019
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