Shitting on the Job?

I have gathered that you are not supposed to be away from your desk for longer than 5 minutes at time. My body is fucked up and I shit three times a day on average, and piss like crazy. Is this going to negatively effect me? This is serious and not a shit post. Is it normal to have a piss bottle by the desk? I can resort to that if it makes it less obvious how much I use the restroom. 

Asking for advice, I am worried about how my shit tendencies will look to my superiors. 

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Jun 14, 2021 - 2:13pm

This is serious and not a shit post. Is it normal to have a piss bottle by the desk?  

Good one OP

I’m a fun guy. Obviously I love the game of basketball. I mean there’s more questions you have to ask me in order for me to tell you about myself. I'm not just gonna give you a whole spill... I mean, I don't even know where you're sitting at

Jun 14, 2021 - 4:32pm

if you want to end up like limousine liberal mike bloomberg, you don't ever take bathroom breaks: https://au.finance.yahoo.com/news/michael-bloomberg-weird-tip-for-succe…

if, however, you want to be in touch with reality, you listen to your body. if it's not some condition that's been irreversible with diet and medication and they ask, I'm sure they'd understand. however if you're shitting that often, I'm betting your gut has inflammation so I'd play with your diet a bit to try to reverse that

Jun 14, 2021 - 5:09pm

Don't take any shit from anyone. If someone tries to pressure you into not using the bathroom, remind them how shitty their shitbox personality is. Those shitheads don't understand the bullshit your horseshit of a shitty body has to offer. Don't be a dipshit and shit yourself acting like a complete shitface.

Array
Jun 15, 2021 - 9:54am

MD found the piss drawer. What do I do bros?

I’m a fun guy. Obviously I love the game of basketball. I mean there’s more questions you have to ask me in order for me to tell you about myself. I'm not just gonna give you a whole spill... I mean, I don't even know where you're sitting at

  • 3
Jun 16, 2021 - 7:39am

>mfw WSO gets slowly turned into my favourite Tibetan Underwater-basket-weaving forum

...and the Truth shall set you free
  • 2
  • Intern in IB - Ind
Jun 15, 2021 - 1:46am

incoming SA with IBS here. You have your phone with you, so you're always available if someone pings you. You can also take the extra time on the toilet to respond to non-urgent emails, read up on market news, and handle personal stuff.

  • Intern in IB-M&A
Jun 15, 2021 - 9:07am

Same here. I need coffee in IBS, but I always run to the bathroom whenever taking caffeine...

Any tips?

Jun 25, 2021 - 3:40pm

hehe you joke. when I was doing my analyst stint there was a nosy person who kept track of when people got up from their desk and how long they were away. This log was sent to our MD who promptly tossed it in the trash. Upside we did found out who took the most amount of shit/piss in a day. 

Jun 18, 2021 - 3:00pm

At the bank I was at, I have unfortunately witnessed folks from associate to MD level go into a stall and blow it up... while on calls (clients, teams, etc.). At first I was just like what the fuck, but I became desensitized to it over time. I would never do that shit but I empathize with people who are just slammed with back-to-backs that can't be moved, but they have to drop the kids off at the pool. Sometimes doody calls and it is what it is.

  • Analyst 1 in IB-M&A
Jun 19, 2021 - 7:21pm
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