Snapping Out of Depression - Any advice or Personal Anecdotes?
My Life in a Nutshell:
-Went to a Top 25 university, always had that future promise to look forward to. I'm going to be RICH, people will respect me, i'll be one of the cool kids like I always was in high school!
-Stayed around my hometown after graduation. At first it was awesome, I was the only one with my own place and everyone wanted to come over and was so impressed. Was great to be back partying with my high school friends like old times
-Things start to change and I'm no longer the popular guy in the room. I feel left out and lonely as my high school friends have moved in together and I'm no longer on the invite list for most small activities or group trips.
-I add to my own isolation through favoring smoking weed and staying in on the weekends, occasionally indulging in something more than beer and weed to substitute the lack of stimulating personal interactions with chemical excitement.
-Feel really alienated and snubbed socially. The people I grew up with and considered my best friends are all having the time of their lives together and I miss most of it.
-Now that I'm not mister popular guy in the room, girls and others that I thought had my back just don't seem as intersted.
-COVID has put my career in a shitty place, so my one alibi of just focussing on work isn't something I can lie about myself and others to anymore.
TL:DR: I feel like a peaked in high school /college and just haven't been able to integrate back into my normal social scene post-college. Somewhat my own fault for being distant and choosing to smoke weed and rip Juul over going out spending time with my friends when I do get an invite. My work life isn't incredibly satisfying right now either. On the verge of just pulling the trigger and moving to an entirely different city.
Question:
-Have you ever experienced a similar depression?
What were the keys to snapping out of it?
-Any personal anecdotes of fighting through rock bottom and subsequent success, and details on how you accomplished it are much needed.
idk im depressed all the time. im bipolar it's not going anywhere. i used to be mildly hypomanic mostly but now im depressed mostly cause i hate my life. my advice would be to not lock yourself into a life you hate like i have. but if you are in a place where you hate your life, deadlifts and music. yeah. lift and music. and the carnivore diet helps a lot of people. been on that for all year. ummm drugs and alcohol do not work long term but make things worse actually. you can't drink right and lift right. you should pick one. umm functional alcoholism is ok. you can do it for a long time if you do it right. it's an ok way to live. you have your nights at lease.
you dont sound depressed though. you just sound like a pussy as bitch who's just starting to come to terms with this fact. one of these twerpy little white kids who thought he was a genius because he was born into some upper-middle class third generation nonsense and had his hand guided to the path of "success" all his life. boy aint never made a solo dolo decision. neva eva.
whatever, fuck your life and mine too. but definitely do not have children til you figure that shit out
Why do you hate your life?
Generally bipolar depression leaves the brain in a state whereby there is a lack of dopamine, causing feelings of disdain towards oneself and others. Hypomania and Mania are the opposite of this, whereby the brain is cranked up with dopamine. Hypomania can be somewhat sustainable, but if it gets more severe it leads to mania which feels like every move is the right move, everything is 'clicking', but sometimes results in detachment from reality and over committing on things so that when the mania goes away, the depression comes back even harder, given all your new commitments.
These are generally the feelings that lead to a heavy depressive state for those that say 'they hate life' or 'hate everyone'. It's less a reflection of themselves and more a reality check of the lack of dopamine in the mind. There can be levels of depression and any downers taken can add to it.
agree - workout + music
for me though its THC + Caffeine + Workout + Music + Nutrition + Hydration
It is the formula.
I like this. Mine was always Sleep + Diet + Exercise
Assuming you're a consultant, you can afford to take a blood test to screen for stuff that might be physiologically ailing you. You can also probably afford a therapist.
Me I just do my best to push along and I bitch and moan about it but I keep doing it. Exercising helped me out. Cliche, yes. Pull the trigger move to a different city don't be afraid of it. You can find new friends and a new job.
Psychiatrist
I've done the whole DSM / Psychiatric Assessment / IQ test deal before. The underlying problem is largely a lot of generalized anxiety, specifically social anxiety. Figure there aint much to do besides gradual exposure. I'm sure as hell not going to take Prozac the rest of my life. Gotta just stop substituting weed and booze for social opportunities.
Fuck dude. Good luck.
Dude that's only part of the equation. You have to dig deep and look for a therapist that isn't just giving you pills, but is also giving you other therapy stuff. I say other therapy stuff because there's a lot of therapy stuff that can be used including, but not limited to CBT and Psychoanalysis.
Also, you need to fnd new friends. Its really hard right now with covid and all, and it sucks. It seems like you where already experiencing some isolation before covid, and now its probably doubled up. You just have to wait it out or go try to find friends in this environment -its your call.
420 is fine but find a good pre and workout like a mofo
Working out does wonders for the mind. If you think you’re depressed see a therapist, then if you truly are suffering from MDD then see a psychiatrist.
Turning to substances to cope with life is not a good habit to get into, it’s really difficult to escape that pattern.
Yeah, I think the substance abuse (connected to social anxiety) is really the main culprit. I've been substituting short-term gratification and staying in my safe zone rather than capitalizing on social bonding opportunities. By Friday at 8Pm I'm so stoned going out is the last thing I was to do. I feel content in the moment while comfortably stoned and eating a steak while watching Netflix, but in the long-term it's lead to a place where I've avoided the social situations that everyone else has used as bonding experiences.
Think I need to grow a sack, get rid of my substitute (ie, drugs) and force myself back into socializing for gratification.
getting stoned isn't that big of a deal
When last having suicidial ideation, I started a martial art and it was incredible. The exercise is great, skills are great, and you join a brotherhood of respectful but dangerous men that have your back on and off the mat. I can’t suggest this strongly enough.
Not trying to be a downer, but it sure sounds like you know why you're feeling bad. The question you should be asking yourself is whether you can get past these limitations, i.e. can you stop idling in your room, baking, doing drug X and get back out there.
As for how you get past issues, that entirely depends what your original reason for socializing was. If you were in those circles to just have a fun time then it's the hardest to solve - new circles might not replace the old circle. If you were in there because you had a crush on a girl then I'd just drown myself into weight training or find another dime (there's thousands on Instagram, all you gotta do is go to the explore section).
I just want to remind you that there is a trade-off in the field that we are in - we trade socializing with our old friends for better career opportunities. Did you think these guys working 80-90 hours a week are still maintaining relationships with their high school/college friends? Of course not. Even if your hours are smaller, your work will bring with it new relationships that need maintaining (and quite often these new relationships have priority).
To close on, having buyers remorse now that your opportunities are dried up is normal. You can see that in several posts in this forum, some are unfortunately in way harsher what-if's than you are. At the end of the day, most of the system is dynamic, not static - just because we constantly promote career paths X->Y->Z on the forum does not mean they pan out for everybody. A lot of people are left unfulfilled from their job because they're in it for the wrong reasons.
I was the exact same way - I was all about running up the bag until I realized this perfect life I have envisioned for myself is simply not achievable until I am at least in my mid 40s or even early 50s. I'm still tempted to buy a Lambo truck as soon as I get a job on the street, but who the fuck am I really impressing with it? Everyone around us can get 1, so if I'm doing it to flex on people, this ain't the crowd for that. Getting where we want to be takes time, we can't burn out on the first time that the going gets tough.
[Did You Get the Memo? ](
)... Life can suck sometimes. When it does, we need to fix it before it fixes us.
> “They say a person needs just three things to be truly happy in this world: someone to love, something to do, and something to hope for.” ― Tom Bodett
I leave you with some wise words from Henry Rollins Iron and the Soul:
> The Iron is the best antidepressant I have ever found. There is no better way to fight weakness than with strength. Once the mind and body have been awakened to their true potential, it’s impossible to turn back.
[Tyler Durden's Philosophy](
)
Well said. Thank you.
Have no expectations when it comes to relationships/friendships. That's the best way to go about that. I was surprised by how much my relationships/friendships changed as I got older. People who I thought I would be friends with my entire life ended up drifting away, either because we grew apart or would have a random epiphany and realize they weren't such good friends to me.
Find a few hobbies, meet people in through these activities. Depends on the city that you're in. Some cities suck because you're expected to have "friends" or else you're considered weird.
I think traveling solo, and staying in a social hostel will be a great remedy. YOu'll be forced to interact with new people in a new environment, and realize that your problems are all in your head.
Good luck.
Which cities do you feel like this is NOT the case? I feel like most young people expect you to go to events with a group rather than by yourself
I struggle with this too. No one to do stuff with -> can’t go out to meet new people -> no one to do stuff with
Start taking daily Vitamin D supplements. It’s an extremely easy starting point that could go a long way.
Yes this. 5,000IU per day at least. Heavy workout days you can take 10,000IU or more depending on how long you workout.
What makes you think he’s vitamin D deficient? Please don’t take medical advice from unqualified strangers on the internet.
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