tinder/bumble opening messages

best opening line when messaging a woman on tinder/bumble? epic fails? anyone actually ever marry someone they met on the services?

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Comments (36)

Oct 9, 2018

"Hey there! [mild compliment, relevant question]" always worked wonders for me.

Check out the OkCupid blog, they've always written up cool insights gleaned from their data. Older entries are meatier. What You Should Be Saying in a First Message - The OkCupid Blog

Oct 9, 2018

straight forward, simple, i like it. just began trying it out for the first time.

Oct 9, 2018

Enjoy! I've met a lot of amazing women through OkC and Tinder. I'm currently 3 years into relationship with the last one I met.

My only other general bit of advice I have is to be normal. Sadly many men on those apps reveal themselves to be emotionally unavailable, pathetic, verbally abusive, or an unholy mix of the three. I'm just making this stat up, but if women find 90% of the men online repulsive, you immediately join the desirable 10% simply by not exhibiting repulsive behaviors.

PS don't ever reference hooking up. If you hit it off online and have a good date it will happen. Not that you would, but I know guys who have said, "just looking to hookup." Would you tell a client "I'm just here to bill you"?

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Oct 9, 2018

oh nice, congrats! Yeah been at it now a few days and have had some interesting matches/convos. and yeah exactly, gotta play the game a little bit. plus anyone who immediately begins a convo with "lets hookup" something is usually off their

Oct 9, 2018

this is WSO...

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Oct 9, 2018

I met my wife on Tinder and wrote a blog about Tinder:
http://arthuxtable.blogspot.com/
ama

heister:

Look at all these wannabe richies hating on an expensive salad.

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Oct 9, 2018

I actually have an awesome opener I used successfully a bunch - including on my wife. But if I reveal it, it will alter the NYC dating market permanently. @theaccountingmajor will ruin it for everyone.

heister:

Look at all these wannabe richies hating on an expensive salad.

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Oct 9, 2018

Incredible success rate with this one..."Do you like pancakes?", next message "Great, how about IHOP on that ass and then after we can go grab some pancakes/waffles/etc at insert good breakfast place"

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Funniest
Oct 9, 2018

Shit like this only works if you're a Ryan Gosling looking motherfucker. I feel like by "incredible success rate" you mean 'it worked once and I'm so stoked I'm no longer a virgin"

heister:

Look at all these wannabe richies hating on an expensive salad.

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Oct 9, 2018

Funny you say that, I have been told I look like Ryan Gosling. But yes, shit like this works, so does a simple greeting and relevant question. It honestly all depends on the girl and the type of girl you are looking for. I for one, preferred girls with a sense of humor so jokes like this that weren't overly perverted/crude worked well. Have to remember though, chicks go through so many dudes on these apps, you need something to stand out/catch their eye. Key is to do so without being coming off too perverted/creepy/etc. Once you get their attention, you can take it all from there.

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Oct 9, 2018

Dude, that line you posted is like #3 on every fucking "Top 20 pickup lines" Buzzfeed list bullshit. A chick will see that same shit 4 times in a day verbatim

heister:

Look at all these wannabe richies hating on an expensive salad.

Oct 9, 2018

Never said it was original, just an example of a good strategy that works for a certain subset of women. My only point is that different approaches work for different chicks, especially online. I just recommend to OP using a strategy that would work with the certain type of girl you want.

Oct 9, 2018
radio528:

Funny you say that, I have been told I look like Ryan Gosling. But yes, shit like this works, so does a simple greeting and relevant question. It honestly all depends on the girl and the type of girl you are looking for. I for one, preferred girls with a sense of humor so jokes like this that weren't overly perverted/crude worked well. Have to remember though, chicks go through so many dudes on these apps, you need something to stand out/catch their eye. Key is to do so without being coming off too perverted/creepy/etc. Once you get their attention, you can take it all from there.

Post pics of yourself.

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Oct 9, 2018
radio528:

Incredible success rate with this one..."Do you like pancakes?", next message "Great, how about IHOP on that ass and then after we can go grab some pancakes/waffles/etc at insert good breakfast place"

Incredible success rate with this one:

my abs.

"If you always put limits on everything you do, physical or anything else, it will spread into your work and into your life. There are no limits. There are only plateaus, and you must not stay there, you must go beyond them." - Bruce Lee

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Oct 9, 2018

Oh lord I imagine your profile is all indoor-beanie bathroom selfies, with maybe a bicycling pic tossed in for good measure

Oct 9, 2018
urmaaam:

Oh lord I imagine your profile is all indoor-beanie bathroom selfies, with maybe a bicycling pic tossed in for good measure

A lot of mirror selfies, yes, chicks like that stuff ... some race photos (2 snowboarding race photos just standing 1 running 1 triathlon race photo). Yeah one with bike helmet on.....

"If you always put limits on everything you do, physical or anything else, it will spread into your work and into your life. There are no limits. There are only plateaus, and you must not stay there, you must go beyond them." - Bruce Lee

Oct 9, 2018

You probably know more than me, but I feel like mirror selfies are going to attract girls from a certain subset that you aren't looking for attention from. It's hard giving up easy ass though, maybe it'd be more beneficial for you to specialize on the different apps. My Hinge is set up with a profile for dating (cute kid pics, mentions family & dad jokes, love of frugal dates etc) while my tinder is straight pics of me looking good, with the homies, etc and the bio makes it clear I'm not trying to catch any feels. All the apps have their niche, and playing them helps with the vetting process since you have the criteria in mind.

All the Hinge dates are serious women who are looking for long term potential, and it's been awhile since I haven't banged a tinder match first meetup with no harm done when we fall out of contact at any time

Oct 9, 2018
urmaaam:

You probably know more than me, but I feel like mirror selfies are going to attract girls from a certain subset that you aren't looking for attention from. It's hard giving up easy ass though, maybe it'd be more beneficial for you to specialize on the different apps. My Hinge is set up with a profile for dating (cute kid pics, mentions family & dad jokes, love of frugal dates etc) while my tinder is straight pics of me looking good, with the homies, etc and the bio makes it clear I'm not trying to catch any feels. All the apps have their niche, and playing them helps with the vetting process since you have the criteria in mind.

All the Hinge dates are serious women who are looking for long term potential, and it's been awhile since I haven't banged a tinder match first meetup with no harm done when we fall out of contact at any time

I tried another site and didn't like it. I haven't been on Hinge.

Mirror selfies are standard in MMA and fitness. The chicks I match up with are typically doing mirror selfies too - in bikinis.

"If you always put limits on everything you do, physical or anything else, it will spread into your work and into your life. There are no limits. There are only plateaus, and you must not stay there, you must go beyond them." - Bruce Lee

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Oct 9, 2018

Tinder is somewhat annoying for me. Its funny/entertaining at times, but sometimes I check my phone and have 50 new matches and 20 new messages and it just seems like a lot of work for me. A lot of vetting, getting rid of annoying chicks, etc.

I do hope to make meaningful connections on there, but am more geared towards playing the long game.

"If you always put limits on everything you do, physical or anything else, it will spread into your work and into your life. There are no limits. There are only plateaus, and you must not stay there, you must go beyond them." - Bruce Lee

Oct 9, 2018

No, m_1, I am not hiring my butler to filter out messages - lol

"If you always put limits on everything you do, physical or anything else, it will spread into your work and into your life. There are no limits. There are only plateaus, and you must not stay there, you must go beyond them." - Bruce Lee

Oct 9, 2018

A younger, less good version of Goldie made a video about this:

heister:

Look at all these wannabe richies hating on an expensive salad.

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Oct 9, 2018

WTF it really is a different world for some people. I've used it off and on for a couple years and have a couple hundred matches over that time but this just seems absurd. I'm in a tier 2/3 city too.

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Oct 9, 2018
justphresh:

WTF it really is a different world for some people. I've used it off and on for a couple years and have a couple hundred matches over that time but this just seems absurd.

"If you always put limits on everything you do, physical or anything else, it will spread into your work and into your life. There are no limits. There are only plateaus, and you must not stay there, you must go beyond them." - Bruce Lee

Oct 9, 2018

Answer your phone

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Oct 9, 2018
PocketAces--:

best opening line

"If you always put limits on everything you do, physical or anything else, it will spread into your work and into your life. There are no limits. There are only plateaus, and you must not stay there, you must go beyond them." - Bruce Lee

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Oct 9, 2018

^typically I get a lot of messages like this from the 19-23yr old crowd

"If you always put limits on everything you do, physical or anything else, it will spread into your work and into your life. There are no limits. There are only plateaus, and you must not stay there, you must go beyond them." - Bruce Lee

Oct 9, 2018

Stuntin hard there. I won't lie, I'm a little jealous

Most Helpful
Oct 9, 2018
urmaaam:

Stuntin hard there. I won't lie, I'm a little jealous

Yeah, I mean my biggest asset is my time. There are a couple rules here that will save you lots of it in the long run:

a) don't stick your dick in crazy

b) if a chick can't keep a schedule, I drop her

I'm not re-scheduling if we can't even make a first meet. My schedule is wacky as hell and to actually make a gap in it to 'grab coffee' or 'lunch' necessitates changes in my training or sleep or nutrition, which is also a pain in the ass.

Girls generally need more time with me than I need with them. One ex-girlfriend called me "Mr. Ambitious," because I was always working on something or training for something, which meant less time with her. She would be like "oh, you're going to go hang out with Mr. A". She worked in finance at a fund.

My point being, I have to filter all of these chicks out. The needy chicks. The above chick wasn't needy, she was pretty cool. But, the chicks that can't keep a schedule, it goes on and on. Then if a girl gets to the level of dating, she soon finds out that I have broken up with nearly every single one of my past girlfriends and then she gets insecure and goes from 'when are you going to break up with me' to ... 'are we going to get married'. The first question doesn't bother me that much, but I have been honest in the past with the second one and if I don't think its going to happen, I'll say 'we are not getting married', which brings on a whole new level of neediness/insecurity/clinginess, etc etc.

So to avoid the time suck of all of this BS, I spend a lot of my time filtering, vetting, etc. Its not all 'gravy' in terms of me reaping huge rewards from all these matches. It just means I have more variables in the equation. More options, per se. More options don't always mean a better outcome, or better result. The girls I am seeking are typically 9s, not used to being rejected, and some are used to lots of attention and flattery, but if you're dating one of these chicks, you have to spatter the flattery so that you're not completely putting her on a pedestal as these really hot model chicks tend to lose their mind when ego takes over and are just an ass to be around, so you have to be quick to put them in their place. That, and all the attention you get when you're around other random guys or drunk guys, how many fights you almost get in because some dude said something very inappropriate about your chicks' tits or something, but she liked it and you're just on edge.

The way to avoid all of this, is to get a girl that is balanced, respects herself, is not ego driven and takes care of her body (the 25-35 jump just ruins some girls).

I'm pretty picky and content being single rather than with someone who drains my zen and peace, so will meet/filter/date until I find someone who builds me up, rather than brings me down, and is ok with my energy levels or can at least keep up a little bit.

"If you always put limits on everything you do, physical or anything else, it will spread into your work and into your life. There are no limits. There are only plateaus, and you must not stay there, you must go beyond them." - Bruce Lee

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Oct 9, 2018

Good stuff, as usual +SB

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Oct 9, 2018

yeah well said, and now having been doing it for a few days, yeah, some of these girls need a reality check, way to much ego/wannabe kim kardashian.

Oct 11, 2018

How do you do it man?

RIP LEHMAN
RIP MONACOMONKEY
RIP THEACCOUNTING MAJOR

Oct 9, 2018

Wait hold on. Don't chicks message first on Bumble?

heister:

Look at all these wannabe richies hating on an expensive salad.

Oct 9, 2018

I'm like 2 for 100 on Tinder. I use one of those auto-like programs to rake in matches, but chicks just flake on me within 2-3 messages. So I've tried every variation of every opener.

Anyways. for some reason the 2 i managed to snag came off this line:

"Prove you aren't a spambot so that I can take you someplace nice tonight"

Both were hookups.

Oct 9, 2018

I'm too ugly to even get matches in the first place.

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Oct 9, 2018
Oct 9, 2018