Hey monkeys, title is pretty self-explanatory, and is based off of the recent happenings with United. Anyways, I’ll start. Probably around 12 years ago I flew from South Carolina to Wisconsin as an unaccompanied minor. Everything was going great and the airlines make it all operate very smoothly. An attendant walks you to your next gate and makes sure someone is keeping an eye on you at all times. However on the connecting flight to Wisconsin something rather terrible happened.
I was sitting comfortably near the front of the plane, when all of a sudden a flight attendant came up to me and requested that I switch seats with someone who “wanted to be closer to a bathroom”. Being raised to respect authoritative figures, and being on my own I didn’t really think I had an option to say “no” so I said that was okay. As I walked towards the back of the plane I realized what a dirty trick had been played on me as I saw the seat-switcher had actually wanted to change because the ham-beast in the seat next to him was spilling all over into the other seats. I still remember how he just kind of looked at me as he walked past me to take my seat, screw that guy. They had picked me since a) I was a kid and wouldn’t say no, and b) I would be the only one small enough to actually fit in the seat. Safe to say once my parents found that out the airline got an earful and in the end they got free tickets to keep quiet about it. All in all quite the experience!
So there’s mine, what’s your worst experience with an airline?
The food.
Ba dum tshhh
Certainly true with US-based airlines.
This comment deserves more silver bananas.
I'm Asian so uhhhhhh...
Jokes aside, few years ago when I was around 18, my flight home was delayed, and as a result my connecting flight had departed before I'd arrived the layover point. It was at LAX (of course), around 10pm. Had to line up for an hour to receive the compensation package, which includes an overnight stay at an inn nearby and like $20 (damn you American...). That was during the winter, and since my destination was tropical I didn't bring any jackets, so I was outside the LAX airport during midnight, shivering at the 40s weather (again I'd always lived in a hot climate, so 40s was considered freezing to me).
Waited a good one-hour plus for the hotel bus that's supposed to pick me up, and due to the combination of my lack of patience, "freezing weather", and sleepiness, decided to embark a sketchy van outside the airport whose driver insisted would take me to the inn annotated on my voucher. Boarded the van, departed the airport. On the van sees a few unfamiliar Asian tourist and an African male who does not seem very much local; became increasingly nervous. Arrived to the "hotel", which does not seem at all like what the inn should look like. Ran a Google and found horror stories about people getting their things stolen and bedbugs and generally sketchiness. Told the driver that it's not the right hotel but he insisted that I could use my voucher here and it'd work. Told him no and to either take me back to the airport or to my actual hotel, and after a "donation/tip" he finally decided to take me to the real hotel I was assigned. The few other passengers who don't seem to speak much English decided to stay at that hotel for the night though (and that was the last time I'd seen of them...)
Funny that it was my first time staying at LA, and frankly it didn't leave me with the best impression. Still trying to live there long-term in the next couple years though.
Oh man you broke all the childhood safety rules lol... at least the driver was bribe-able.
WTF. Shit reminds me of hotels and people in Pakistan and India. Never thought you'd find the same variety in LAX.
Boarded a flight to Lisbon, waited three hours, got cancelled. Got put on a flight to Munich instead, delayed four hours, forced to deboard for 10 minutes then reboard, missed connecting flight when I got to Munich finally. Fuck united
Got puked on by a passenger while flying in a suit. Puke was all over the aisle right next to my seat and all the United personnel did was cover it up with some baking soda and towels. Was told to contact customer service for reimbursement of suit jacket but ended up getting a ridiculous push back.
Flying on a cheap Chinese airline. My flight got delayed for two hours, then we boarded. Once we were boarded, we sat there for SIX HOURS. It was originally a two hours and twelve minute flight. Then they canceled the fucking flight. I had to sleep in the airport to get on the first flight in the AM.
Don't fly cheap Chinese airlines. Pay a bit more for something that won't fuck you like they fucked me.
Covering them.
Ever hear of Kingfisher Airlines? Yeah, the Budweiser of India is also an airline. Sounds great right? Wrong. Parallel an average experience to what you might imagine an orgy among Spirit, Allegiant, Midway, Ryanair and Aegean airlines would be like. Take that mental image and add a curry-infused smell that basically melts the plastic off the paneling of the cabin in addition to a complimentary febreze detox prior to every domestic and international flight, because...you know...hygiene isn't exactly their forte.
Buddy, Kingfisher and Jet are easily the "premium" Indian airline brands, try a long-distance Air India flight! There you can enjoy Mad Max-esque queueing procedures and flexible handluggage allowances (read: cardboard boxes and stapled ikea bags). A good tip is to stop at Tax Free and spray both sleeves with copious amounts of aftershave, as there will be that inevitable time when everyone lifts their arms up to reach for their luggage and now you'll be able to asphyxiate yourself.
The airline food ain't bland though, I'll give them that.
Also Indian airports are the only ones I've been to that add "no coconuts" to the traditional no-fly list of "knives, guns and corrosive substances".
Malaysian Airlines. One time I travelled in it to go to China, the flight's pilot went nuts and decided to reroute the plane to some Fucksville island in the Indian Ocean. I had to take a ferry to get to civilization. Dunno why the others didn't do the same.
The other time happened just a few weeks after that. I had to travel urgently from Kuala Lumpur to Amsterdam, when suddenly, these random-ass folks in camos began shooting at our jet. I had to run the fuck away before my three-piece Armani caught fire, but luckily I had my Burberry trenchcoat handy in order to fan away those flames. Finally I reached the border of some Eastern European Fucksville country. Worst experience ever.
the tsa dog acted crazy with me once lol.
Winter of 1992 or 1993, Chicago O'Hare - I'm working for the airlines at the time. Storms all over the east coast were wreaking havoc with flight schedules everywhere and Chicago was under heavy snow as well. I was deadheading to Miami. Plane leaves the gate but has to line up for de-icing. Long story short, we ended up on the ground at O'Hare for 5+ hours. That was some unpleasant shit, at some point I swear the passengers were about to revolt.
It was sort of made up for by the fact that I finally get to Miami, and the flight schedule is so bad, our flight from Miami is cancelled, and the schedule is so crazy, that I, along with the rest of the deadhead crew I was with, got 'stuck' in Miami for three days. Yes, stuck at a nice hotel paid for by the company, on salary plus a per diem for every hour we're away from base, in Miami near the beach with girls in tiny skimpy things, while the northeast was being pummeled with snow. It was awful....ly nice.
I had a direct flight home through Delta that was delayed from 8:00 pm to 10:30 pm on a Friday evening. It was inconvenient, but not an issue. The problem was that, unbeknownst to me, the airport / security closed at 9:00, so when I showed up for my flight at 9:02, security would not let me through and I had to fly out the next day (with layovers of course). Delta never communicated the issue ahead of time. The ticket agent had the balls to say"It happens all the time", which tells me they've never thought to implement a solution to a problem that they could easily solve.
That sucks mate. Once (and this was around 12 yrs ago), I popped up for an Emirates flight at 2:15 for a 2:30 AM flight thanks to an accident on the road to the airport. The check-in counter woman went bonkers and got half the airport crew ferrying a kid on that cool vehicle through immigration, security check, etc. Best part? The woman calmly tells us there's no time to do Duty Free shopping.
I honestly haven't had that many bad experiences that were the airline's fault. Like everyone though, I've had some bad flying experiences:
On the way to an interview, where I was flying in the day of a pre interview dinner followed by super day the next day, someone grabbed my carry on (with my suit - I specifically didn't check my bag to avoid them losing it and this happens...) So I called the firm, let them know the situation, and spent like 3 hours scrambling trying to get in touch with a friend from HS who lived in the city and borrowed his suit, which was too small but whatever. The taxi driver was wholly incompetent and kept getting lost on the way to my buddy's, then dropped me off at the wrong restaurant (having already missed most of the dinner anyway) because they names sounded the same (it was like Beck's vs. Black's or something).
Was flying to Middle East from Philly and wasn't given a seat (Us Airways- before the merger with AA.) Had to see my friend who was leaving to the army for a couple years, had only one day to see him. Apparently flight was overbooked and was put on a flight the day after. Sucked because I didn't see my buddy but at least they gave me a $1K voucher, hotel and $25 food voucher.
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