I used to send out a weekly update to my boss, director level, as well as a bunch of VP's and senior VP's. This was at a F100 company so the people were all fairly high-level. Because we all knew what was being talked about, the subject was simply "This Week".

Once however, the title was simply "This Weed".

in it 2 win it
 

Lesson learned early on - had an AP Lit class in high school which had me up till 3AM one night for some essay. I was getting frustrated so in the conclusion paragraph, I was summarizing some literary themes and then capped it with "and other shit like that". Definitely chuckled to myself, then quickly forgot to delete it.

Turned it in like a moron and proceeded to get called in a few days later with the phrase circled in red with a single word "INAPPROPRIATE".

 

In an email to an IPO working group, one of the lawyers had a name that sounded like two first names (think Matt Steve), having never met them I addressed the email to Steve, his name is Matt. Cue a flurry of emails to point out my mistake, and the next reply all to bold and underline Matt's name.

My boss was dealing with some back office BS at a Swiss bank, and the person had two, two syllable words for a name (think: Tevin Loab). Over the course of four or five emails managed to call the person Loab Tevin, Toab Levin and Levin Toab, it's like he was actually trying at that point.

 

Not a typo by me but I was communicating with a CFO for a business we were looking at buying. The CFO replied and CC'ed in the CEO. who then forgot to remove me from his reply to the CFO saying "who the fuck is this guy".

I got a very quick apology from the CFO.

 

A friend of mine (female) once wrote to a professor (male) to ask a question about one of the subjects of the course and tried to end the email with "Thank you for the attention". Given the proximity between "T" and "R" in the keyboard, she instead typed "Thank you for the arrection", which her MacBook proceeded to autocorrect to "Thank you for the erection".

 

I didn't actually make a typo, but I sent a note to the DA where I live on Facebook and Facebook corrected her name to an incorrect spelling. Damn you Facebook!!!

I had been friends with her for years, but fell into some nonsense that I thought she might help clear up, then misspelled her name (didn't see the delayed auto correct) after specifically not misspelling her name (I checked twice to make sure I spelled everything correctly). Damn you Facebook!!!!!!!

It was something stupid, I still have a clean record. Figured it out.

"If you always put limits on everything you do, physical or anything else, it will spread into your work and into your life. There are no limits. There are only plateaus, and you must not stay there, you must go beyond them." - Bruce Lee
 

Look down at your key board and look at where the "L" is and where the "P" is. On a Thursday after we successfully closed a deal and were expecting to get the money from the client, I attached the final PDF to an email to my direct promote, a female VP, and asked her:

"So are we getting laid tomorrow?"

We're not lawyers. We're investment bankers. We didn't go to Harvard. We Went to Wharton!
 

I called a partner "Brain" when his name was "Brian." For whatever reason, that really caught on and whenever we were both on an email, the sender would refer to him as "Brain." I laughed, but deep down, was quite angry.

“Elections are a futures market for stolen property”
 

We used to do all kinds of shit like this, put text in white font in the back of slides saying all sorts of terrible things which won't show in a pdf.

However, if someone sends the ppt to the client, and the ppt gets printed in black and white, the text will show. We held ranks and no one got outed for that, but it was bad.

Also, as a standard, I can't get up and walk away from my machine without locking it, just muscle memory now to prevent people from dicking with your email.

 
Most Helpful

I don't make typos b/c i literally take 10 mins to send a single email and reread it over and over again until my brain hurts. this is what banking has taught me.

https://media3.giphy.com/media/3o7TKDHrTOfFA44x8I/giphy-downsized.gif" alt="the accountant" />

on another note why does the account do the same weird shit i do

What concert costs 45 cents? 50 Cent feat. Nickelback.
 

Once had a higher-up on another team accidentally copy me on an email that trashed me and a director I was working with. Needless to say, we were both pretty livid, and sent it up the chain to our boss, who basically said "what an asshole!" after the person refused to apologize.

"There's nothing you can do if you're too scared to try." - Nickel Creek
 

Id vel rerum quis voluptatum. Enim corrupti occaecati eligendi vel dicta illum qui. Corrupti sint quaerat eligendi porro adipisci culpa non. Ipsum qui ea magni eveniet. Sunt quod et consequatur aut adipisci eos. Dolor et tenetur vero itaque consequatur ea. Est magni velit quia explicabo neque est sit.

Voluptatem aut est doloremque officia. Perspiciatis eveniet error voluptatibus sint laudantium. Voluptate nesciunt excepturi expedita laboriosam. Aut temporibus sapiente expedita qui porro placeat repellat nulla. Similique fuga et assumenda distinctio velit ab et. Iusto iusto quaerat reiciendis id.

 

Magnam sed quia qui error repellendus totam. Saepe sed non quo est deserunt a. Iusto voluptatum illum beatae officiis sequi repudiandae. Voluptatum eius voluptatibus distinctio commodi quasi. Ea et eaque aut numquam et. Pariatur illo occaecati totam consequatur molestias qui.

Et quisquam rerum labore iure quidem iure. Necessitatibus quidem quisquam vero voluptatem. Sunt provident odio eligendi suscipit voluptatem. Est cupiditate nesciunt ut vel eos et. Sit praesentium quidem qui cumque explicabo nisi.

Career Advancement Opportunities

April 2024 Investment Banking

  • Jefferies & Company 02 99.4%
  • Goldman Sachs 19 98.8%
  • Harris Williams & Co. New 98.3%
  • Lazard Freres 02 97.7%
  • JPMorgan Chase 03 97.1%

Overall Employee Satisfaction

April 2024 Investment Banking

  • Harris Williams & Co. 18 99.4%
  • JPMorgan Chase 10 98.8%
  • Lazard Freres 05 98.3%
  • Morgan Stanley 07 97.7%
  • William Blair 03 97.1%

Professional Growth Opportunities

April 2024 Investment Banking

  • Lazard Freres 01 99.4%
  • Jefferies & Company 02 98.8%
  • Goldman Sachs 17 98.3%
  • Moelis & Company 07 97.7%
  • JPMorgan Chase 05 97.1%

Total Avg Compensation

April 2024 Investment Banking

  • Director/MD (5) $648
  • Vice President (19) $385
  • Associates (86) $261
  • 3rd+ Year Analyst (14) $181
  • Intern/Summer Associate (33) $170
  • 2nd Year Analyst (66) $168
  • 1st Year Analyst (205) $159
  • Intern/Summer Analyst (145) $101
notes
16 IB Interviews Notes

“... there’s no excuse to not take advantage of the resources out there available to you. Best value for your $ are the...”

Leaderboard

success
From 10 rejections to 1 dream investment banking internship

“... I believe it was the single biggest reason why I ended up with an offer...”