Will my poor decisions effect my chances of getting a job?

Hey guys, I am a URM if thats what would you like to call me and always struggled growing up. I grew up in the Bronx and I always dreamed about always wanting to leave out the hood and become somewhat of a rich person. I want to support my family, I want to care for them like how they cared for me.

But I already plagued myself when I was a teenager. I was rapping and dropping mixtapes about the typical. "Murder, Sex, selling drugs" I was placed in Juvie for robbing a 711 on side of that I was even selling drugs to support myself because I was a failure throughout high school I impregnated two girls girl and was to coward to become a dad so I ran away. My own family almost kicked me out. They tried there best with me but im a failure that's why I switched to the crime life. There is even facebook videos out there me fighting people and or starting fights,rapping shouting vulgarities at police officers.

When I was Juvie it was a stressful time. they used to skip me in lunch lines, steal my lunch, and sometimes threaten to take my commissary and clothes I was constantly in trouble by fighting with other inmates to protect myself and not to look weak and pathetic in front of others. The charges slowly racked up in juvie 1 year slowly turned into 3 years it was a complete snowball effect. I saw other kids being gangraped repeatedly in the shower and then when they were finish I was the one who have clean the semen and blood of the walls or else I was next. I was crying to myself every night in my bunk bed trying to be silent or else my bunk mate will lose his temper and break my nose or do things to me. I was in my bunk crying and saying to myself every night "How could I do this to myself I am much smarter than this".

When I got out I was out of prison, I decided to get my GED and later also decided to major in Mathematics at Baruch hearing how rigerours their program was. I started applying to summer jobs but I have yet to heard from one. Please help.

EDIT: Im sorry if I put you guys off with my name.

 

It's people like you that are cancer to this website, instead of giving advice to people you put them down you don't know what it's like to be in my position at the moment, so if you don't have anything appropriate to say I suggest you should stop commenting.

 

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