Women and Social Signaling

I just had an interesting conversation with a friend about social signaling in the context of dating. A common friend of ours just bought a McLaren. I recon that car is not cheap (Google did not seem to help - 100k? more?). Not that he can't afford it (he's a quant trader at a well-to-do PM group), it's that he bought it to attract women. So it's a signal of his net worth (or over-signal, IMHO). I quote "in todays dating scene you have to distinguish yourself from the competition".

Lot's of questions, of course. Is that really so these days, that women are driven by the net worth more than the personality? More importantly, does one actually want the fish that's attracted by this particular bait? If social signaling is that important (cars, watches, clothing), would you think that someone who does not engage in it is doing himself a disservice?

Comments (41)

Most Helpful
Aug 19, 2018

Yes, symbols of wealth (expensive watches, certain name brand clothes, expensive fancy cars, etc..) will attract women of a certain subset of personality types. There have been numerous social experiments which proved this to be true (you can find some on youtube...they are pretty funny).

Of this subset of women who are attracted to these status symbols,

(a) some % (estimate 15%) will just see the dollar signs, and are planning on getting married for the intent of getting divorced with a nice settlement (this is a minority, but they exist)...
(b) The majority (estimate 70%) will see these symbols as indicators of success and that they should investigate further. They tend to have the mentality of "lemme see if there is more here...in the personality department...because if you fall in love with a rich guy..there's nothing wrong with that if you really like him".
(c) There is also some % (a minority..about 15%) that will think "ugh....this dude is overcompensating...go away".

Statistically, having these symbols of wealth will be beneficial when it comes to attracting women (because group (b) is the largest % of the population), but unless you are with group (a) you will still need to have that confident but not cocky personality with all those intangibles that make people "charismatic" to go from initial attraction to "i really like this guy".

Studies of female evolutionary biology (there are many books on the topic) teach us that the most significant attraction switches for the female brain are

1) physical health
2) Social intelligence
3) compatible sense of humor
4) relative social status
5) wealth / ambition
6) confidence
7) pre-selection
8) congruence

Each switch has a story. Long story short, you want to hit ALL of those attraction switches to attract the "better" girls.

There are long explanations for each. Take #4 "relative social status" as an example. In a bar, the bartender often has high relative social status...everybody at the bar desires the bartender to show them some degree of respect and admiration. This usually makes people feel good, especially in front of their peers. Its "cool" for the bartender to remember your name, and give you a free round of drinks because you are best buds. But take the party elsewhere....say...to a finance industry event like a healthcare investor conference where the drinks are free...and the bartender is no longer the relatively high social status individual. In the bar, the bartender can often have his pick of the women. But goto another environment, and being a bartender becomes lower social status. This isn't to say that the bartender is the only person with high social status in the bar...but the bartender has social status by default in that environment. (the game is his to lose, as they say).

Many of the attraction switches bleed into the others...confidence is an attraction switch because it signals that most likely the confident individual also has some of the other switches in his favor, and thus he has been successful in life, and those people tend to be confident. So, its a psychological signal to a girls subconscious. This bleeds into congruence, and other switches as well. This all goes back to millions of years ago...how did our prehistoric ancestors determine who would be the ideal mate? Only a % of the population survived over the ages...good DNA was a big part of that...and over the years....all species, thru the process of natural selection...evolved to select those with traits that were most likely to survive, and replicate...to populate the gene pool.

You can argue that with the advances in technology and society, what was needed to survive and replicate 500,000 years ago will be different that what allows a person to succeed today. But evolutionary biology teaches us that the wiring in our brains has not caught up to the times. This not a 100% hard and fast rule...its just a preference that we all have wired into our brains from our DNA that survived the process of natural selection. So, if you are alive and reading this today, then congratulations...your DNA lineage was naturally selected to survive and replicate...while others failed to survive and replicate...and they are no longer part of the gene pool. Your ancestors survived,....and they passed on their winning DNA to YOU. That should give you immense confidence.

just google it...you're welcome

    • 12
Aug 27, 2018

The McLaren only helps if you have the other things to back it up but are poor at approach.

I've gone out of with billionaire kids who was a little similar to Jeb bush. There's a reason jeb ended up with an unattractive immigrant from a laborers family instead of a rich daughter of a trophy wife. Personality and confidence carries a lot more than a bank account.

By the way the greatest life hack in the world is going to Wellington Florida and learning to shovel horse poop. Easiest way to become a billionaire if you have some game. It's basically the dumping ground for Gates, jobs, Bloomberg's daughters and their horses. And a hundred other girls whose dads only made a hundred million.

Array
    • 2
Aug 19, 2018

If his strategy is to pick up 16-25 year old boys, it will work like a charm. Women don't know much about cars generally.

    • 5
Aug 19, 2018
DickFuld:

If his strategy is to pick up 16-25 year old boys, it will work like a charm. Women don't know much about cars generally.

But they sure know about instagram and selfies in sportscars...

    • 1
Aug 19, 2018
Zafrynex:
DickFuld:

If his strategy is to pick up 16-25 year old boys, it will work like a charm. Women don't know much about cars generally.

But they sure know about instagram and selfies in sportscars...

And they're not buying sportscars, boats, and a bunch of expensive trips around the world, so you're expected to provide that. I've heard women only when they're 30+ talking about not chasing dudes for specific material things, whether it's a specific physical look or specific things like cars, etc. 30+ though...

    • 1
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Aug 19, 2018

I think it has more to do with people in general, not just woman, preferring to date people that have their shit together.

Aug 19, 2018
m_1:

I think it has more to do with people in general, not just woman, preferring to date people that have their shit together.

Well, thats obviously true. However, it's unclear if you'd want to spend hundreds of thousands trying to signal that you got your shit together.

E.g. I make more money than that dude. Yet I drive a 10-year old Honda Fit, do not own a watch and do not have a summer house anywhere. Hypothetically, should I change all that if I am putting myself on the dating market?

    • 2
Aug 19, 2018
Mostly Random Dude:
m_1:

I think it has more to do with people in general, not just woman, preferring to date people that have their shit together.

Well, thats obviously true. However, it's unclear if you'd want to spend hundreds of thousands trying to signal that you got your shit together.

E.g. I make more money than that dude. Yet I drive a 10-year old Honda Fit, do not own a watch and do not have a summer house anywhere. Should I change all that if I am putting myself on the dating market?

No, just do what you like and have fun. The women will come.

With that being said, I do peacock like a mofo.

But, just be yourself.

"If you always put limits on everything you do, physical or anything else, it will spread into your work and into your life. There are no limits. There are only plateaus, and you must not stay there, you must go beyond them." - Bruce Lee

    • 1
Aug 19, 2018

IMO no, since a smart girl/guy/whateveryoudate will know better than to assess someone strictly off material possessions.

Aug 19, 2018

I hate that car with a passion because one of the folks that I know owns one practically almost ran me over twice now.

I agree with @DickFuld , I have driven sport cars in the past. When going around town, women tend to only say hi and "nice ride" for the most part (sometimes every now and then one will ask for a quick ride). The guys are the ones who will be the one snapping photos of the car and asking if there are mods on it.

I believe that dressing decent/nicely or having a pleasant outlook/appearance (in this case, working out, etc), will appeal more to women. Having grown up with sisters and unfortunately hear how they and their friends talk to each other, career and profession does matter, a lot. Even if it is potential income (future MBA, Medicine, Law, Engineer), these things do matter.

It boils down to preferences, what kind of a person you are, family wealth, and how much you make (and not necessarily what you drive). Although driving a Lexus/BMW/Benz or a sports car is a huge plus.

No pain no game.

    • 1
Funniest
Aug 19, 2018

Quant buys sportscar to attract women... classic

Absolute truths don't exist... celebrated opinions do.

    • 9
Aug 19, 2018

Truly the most quant thing I've ever heard of now that you mentioned it.

Aug 19, 2018
kayz08:

Quant buys sportscar to attract women... classic

Truly fucking classic.

Has to overcompensate. Be yourself, and if yourself ain't good enough it'll show in due time. Never level up or be fake, as soon as you do...it's a ticking time bomb.

Aug 28, 2018
kayz08:

Quant buys sportscar to attract women... classic

lmao. tbh this shit is pretty rare among quants. quants are mostly frugal Asian/Indian/Eastern European dudes who think balling out is stupid and instead play magic of the gathering.

    • 3
Sep 17, 2018

you've described literally 99% of quants and bigtech software engineers

    • 1
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Aug 19, 2018

You guys have no clue about females. Just stop posting.

    • 7
    • 2
  • ij29824DE
  •  Aug 19, 2018

I somewhat gathered that too, but can you please elaborate?

Regards

Aug 21, 2018

brainy is the new sexy

;)

Aug 27, 2018

Wow some of the things being written are a true mindfuck.

Guys, it's not that complicated. If you want to attract flings with smoking hot bimbos who are digging for gold - then floss like there's no tomorrow. Really attractive women are drawn to luxury because they know they can leverage their looks to attain a certain lifestyle level, however temporary. This is 101 shit.

If you'd like to attract a potential long term partner, a relationship presumably based on personality comparability, shared mutual interests, genuine attraction. Then probably best to hide the fact that you're a HNW individual until you're at least in a serious and exclusive relationship, or otherwise don't "lead" with your career.

    • 4
Aug 27, 2018

you own a car in manhattan? guys, all you need is tailored clothes, biceps, and old spice. jeez

    • 2
Aug 27, 2018

Exactly these guys are trying to reinvent what's been done for 100s of years lol. This guy needs a RedPill fast.

Work hard, work clean, & most of all do not give up.

    • 1
Aug 27, 2018

Old spice?? Have you ever even touched a woman??

    • 1
Aug 28, 2018

I think my Subaru is going to attract the wrong type of woman...or not?

Aug 27, 2018

Your friend will be better off getting in good shape than buying a car.

Work hard, work clean, & most of all do not give up.

Aug 19, 2018

i think any guy who doesn't have what they feel is "choice" when it comes to women (choice = the ability to walk into any social situation...a bar, grocery store, walk in the park, wherever there are people...see an attractive girl, flirt with her and get her interested) should watch these videos. You can also find them for free on torrent.

http://pimpingmygame.com/
There are a bunch of others, but this is the best.

just google it...you're welcome

    • 1
Aug 19, 2018
want2trade:

i think any guy who doesn't have what they feel is "choice" when it comes to women

Every married guy does't feel that :)

Aug 19, 2018

lol...my best friend from childhood had mad game...met a great girl in our mid 20's...drop dead gorgeous...really smart (she was working as a programmer at the time)...very cool (we all lived together for 1-2 years before they got married)...and i can't imagine him being any happier. He did all the kindof stuff from these video programs...it really works (and its incredibly entertaining to watch to boot). I laughed out loud, like really hard, when i watched them.

just google it...you're welcome

Aug 28, 2018
Aug 30, 2018

this really depends on the level/type of women you're trying to attract...

Aug 30, 2018

Probably overkill for regular chicks. 95% of women. Doesn't really take much to bang them.

But if she's one of those brand obsessed, gold-digging Instagram snobs, then you'd need some sort of wealth/status indicator. But those women tend to be horrible, anyway.

Aug 19, 2018

you guys should watch these videos

(there are 4 videos in the above series)
And then watch these (another 4 videos)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=shO5ivs_klY

just google it...you're welcome

    • 1
Aug 28, 2018

He sounds like a tool and a fairy...but his observations are not "wrong"

Oct 23, 2018

It is not WHAT car you drive, it is HOW you drive it. The price tag on the car shows the size of your wallet, while your driving style and control of the car at high speed shows your the size of your NUTS and the level of your testosterone. The bigger the latter the better the drive (no pun intended) :) This is what gets women :) IMHO, from a former race driver (privateer BMW team).

    • 1
Oct 23, 2018
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