Would You Want Paternity Leave?

isa2130953's picture
Rank: Neanderthal | 2,694

I am a girl and I often hear people talk about wanting to stay home with the baby. Makes sense to me when your child is a new born and you are in the healing process even though I am a workaholic.

Would any of you want paternity leave? Have you taken it yet? Do you think that it should be provided? What about maternity leave.

Comments (36)

Jul 2, 2019

I took paternity leave when my son was born. It was only 2 weeks but it's worth it.

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Jul 2, 2019

This. I had 1-2 weeks as well after the birth. More would have been really great and helpful to my wife, but ultimately her parents came over and stayed with us for a while to help. Can't say enough about the importance of paternity leave and flexibility in general for working families.

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Jul 2, 2019

Yeah it can definitely be a lot at first. I think a lot of companies are stingy with this

Jul 2, 2019

Definitely some time is better than no time.

Jul 2, 2019

Who wouldn't want paternity leave? What's the downside of having more rather than none / less?

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Jul 2, 2019

A lot of companies and higher management, more specifically in the US, are not big fans. I am all for it tho

Jul 2, 2019

Its honestly ridiculous that some people see it as a burden to business or only financially. I bet any higherups in these corps would say they needed it if their babies were just born

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Most Helpful
Jul 3, 2019

My company didn't allow me to take paternity leave.
It was fucking bullshit.

My wife gave birth in the morning at 8, and I was back on the desk at noon, with my CFO bitching at me.
I'm still bitter.
Needless to say I'm no longer at the company - and this is one of the reasons.

Your wife needs you, if nothing else to commiserate with her, and you want to take a bit of time to get to know this new special person who has just been brought into your life, to hold this new little person, to build a special bond.
We are physical animals, and we bond with skin-to-skin contact, and we bond with body warmth and caring.
That my CFO dragged my ass back from the hospital, and gave me this fucking insecurity is abysmal.

My wife wasn't lactating, and she needed someone to run out and get her a beast pump.
Well, guess who wasn't there to help? Yeah, me.
My baby boy was taken to the NICU because he had irregular breathing and heartbeat problems (he's fine now).
Guess who spent just a couple hours to make sure he was stable, before heading back to the desk?
Yeah, my sorry ass.

Honestly, I don't want to live in a society that doesn't have paternity leave.
I'm not saying I needed weeks (though a couple weeks would have been nice, sure)
But I certainly needed a few days, and the timing of those days is NOT fungible.
Babies come when they do, and there's no project that is ever going to be important enough to supersede that.

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Jul 3, 2019

Going to PM you

Funniest
Jul 4, 2019

I agree 100%, there's nothing like holding your newborn child, all swaddled in FLEX SEAL.

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Jul 7, 2019

Do you like Flex Seal or something? I can't tell.

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Jul 10, 2019

You are absolutely right and that is so upsetting. Glad you aren't there anymore sounds toxic AF. I hope everything with the baby is good now

Jul 3, 2019

Yes I would want paternity leave, if nothing else than to handle things at the house while my wife is recovering and be there for her.

I would be more interested in a company that doesn't mandate facetime though. I can get plenty done from my couch while with my family.

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Jul 3, 2019

Of course I would want paternity leave.

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Jul 3, 2019

I plan to max mine when I have kids. My company offers 6 weeks of paternity leave. If you can't respect that I have a life outside of work, I'm not working for you. Period.

I work in Aerospace, so work-life balance is very important to most firms as we just can't pay as much as other technology industries.

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Jul 3, 2019

Yes - I'd definitely insist on at least 2-4 years of paternity leave.

5 years is an important year for many young toddlers. K5 Kindergarten IB Bootcamp! The building blocks in these classrooms all have greek letters on them for use in formulas and models.

So at 4 years old, its really important for the parent to be teaching these essential greeks. Especially Delta, Gamma, Theta, and Vega. If your kid doesn't have these down by 5 years old, your paternity leave has been wasted. It is all a part of the important process: to gain admittance to a prestigious 1st grade IB training program at age 6 ... because that's when it really begins.

https://www.wykop.pl/cdn/c3201142/comment_3FQVoCM8yzxU8p1lYl6KdAU1VYmparOS.gif

"If you always put limits on everything you do, physical or anything else, it will spread into your work and into your life. There are no limits. There are only plateaus, and you must not stay there, you must go beyond them." - Bruce Lee

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Jul 3, 2019
isa2130953:

I am a girl and I often hear people talk about wanting to stay home with the baby. Makes sense to me when your child is a new born and you are in the healing process even though I am a workaholic.

Would any of you want paternity leave? Have you taken it yet? Do you think that it should be provided? What about maternity leave.

I don't have kids. However, for the sake of my child and my significant other, absolutely. That is a critical bonding time for all. Family first.

Good Luck

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Jul 3, 2019

Many companies offer multiple month paternity leaves at this point. In practice, it's harder to take than the policy would indicate. If you are in a demanding job, it's hard to be completely out for three months. I let my team do what they need to do when they have a kid. Most work from home with a laptop and use the phone as needed. Kids are asleep half the day when they are newborns, so it is usually fine and most people want a break from just wiping asses and giving bottles all day.

I did not have a paternity leave option when my kids were born, but I took a week or two off when they were born. That was enough for me.

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Jul 4, 2019

I took 4 weeks off after the birth, and will take an additional 10 weeks off when my wife returns to work (by that time, my kid is 9 months, so no need for breastfeeding). My boss and co-workers has been nothing but supportive of this.

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Jul 4, 2019

i will play devil's advocate - it depends. if kobe bryant was playing in the NBA finals and his child was born right before the game, i think kobe bryant would still play in the game.

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Jul 11, 2019

A child is born one time but the way he played he'll be back at the finals another time

Jul 5, 2019

TBH the way high finance is its best to not have children at all. There will never be enough time to be with the child as a parent. I mean for some people it can suck i guess but its a tradeoff that has to be made.

Array

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Jul 6, 2019

Oh really? Please tell me about that oh wise college sophomore.

First, you know nothing (and I mean you know literally nothing about working in banking/PE/etc) and second, maybe work a few years and wait for your brain to finish developing before speculating on how easy/difficult it is to have kids and work in finance. You might find that your job is not your only identity, amongst other things.

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Jul 6, 2019

Ok you got me there so now I'd like to hear from you how hard/easy it really is (See you are a PE associate)

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Jul 6, 2019

Think of what your biggest assets in life are. What are the biggest responsibilities you have in life. The human beings that are absolutely dependent on you to exist. Who will love you and admire you beyond understanding. Also who will inflict the most pain, when they look back after having figured out their life without you. Yep, your kids.
Any meaningful minute is worth investing in them, it is an investment in you. Payout /reward incommensurate. The more the better. Sure, we all have other responsibilities, and work and this and that.
In my view you should have kids when you are in a position to view all this in perspective.
Most of the times it is people/ parents that curtail themselves:
Policies are there, teams should be understanding. If not, what's the alternative? them or your kids...
If you have no choice, say hardship or so, then it is something different.
But anything else, you should really look into yourself whether it is an excuse and you can justify to yourself. Is not "them", in most cases is about "you".
A former Director at the bank I worked for was still working on a deal when his wife went into labor, alone to the hospital only to lose the baby. The guy went for maybe an hour and came back to continuing working. In my personal opinion, a complete fail.
We are all free to make our choices, to the extent of our possibilities. With this freedom comes responsibilities and consequences. Choose wisely.

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Jul 7, 2019

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Jul 8, 2019

Hi @isa2130953
I think both the mother and the father of the baby have equal responsibilities in nurturing a baby. Men must also involve in nurturing and that's why leaves are important!

Jul 9, 2019
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