25 Things You Should Know About Dating A Wall Streeter
We always hear about these Wall Street dating horror stories.
There's the rude email cover letter from an investment manager begging for a second date, the alleged stalking bank analyst and the finance guy's spreadsheet comparing his online dating prospects, just to name a few of the more recent ones.
So we have to set some ground rules when it comes to dating the masters of the universe.
That's why we've reached out to both male and female bankers, traders, analysts and hedge funders, etc. to create a definitive guide for dating on Wall Street. Just remember: There are always exceptions to every rule.
1. Don't give out keys to your apartment.
Source: Skirt In Finance ( "Don’t give your banker boyfriend the keys to your apartment. You will forget you gave them to him after his lack of ever using them, and then when he comes over at 4 a.m. after an all nighter, you will end up calling 911 and/or pepper spraying him."https://twitter.com/talktoskirt)
Be discreet about personal things.
"If you're gonna slip him the keys to your apartment at work, roll 'em up in a copy of the FT and plop them on his desk."
Source: M/37/Sellside Tech/Chicago
Make sure everyone knows you exist.
Source: Skirt In Finance ( "For girls: 9 out of 10 of you are a complete secret to your banker boyfriend’s office... send treats to make your presence known...https://twitter.com/talktoskirt)
Stay calm, even though her co-workers are probably making fun of you.
Source: Skirt In Finance ( "Rule for fellas dating skirts: You have to be comfortable with your girlfriend spending the majority of her time alone with a bunch of #WIFs [finance guys] who are likely putting you down to her at all hours of the day.”https://twitter.com/talktoskirt)
(Editor's note: this quote has been lightly edited for clarity).
Know when not to text message.
Source: M/37/Trader/NY "Don’t text or call your trader boyfriend at 8:29 a.m. ET the first Friday of the month. Why you ask? Because he’s about to make or lose a ton of money on the biggest economic release of the month -- change in non-farm payrolls. He’s probably been waiting all week to see how this number comes out and as a result he’ll probably make or lose a ton as a result. Not a good idea to get caught in the crossfire."
Know when you absolutely cannot call.
Source: M/32/Trader/NY "Never call between 9 a.m. and 10 a.m. and 3 p.m. and 4 p.m. Why? The market opens at 9:30 a.m. and closes at 4:00 p.m. The opening and the close are by far our busiest times of the day."
Learn about the business and what drives it.
Source: M/39/ex-IB/NY "If your boyfriend is a trader, learn how to read an economic calendar. Traders lives are ‘event driven’ -- which is why they sometimes say ‘can’t talk’ and then just hang up the phone. While you can’t know everything in advance, you can avoid his bewildered stare and absent apology when he says ‘But you called just before the employment report.’ P.S. Since the Fed basically runs the credit markets now, don’t even think about calling if you see the name ‘Bernanke’ or the letters FOMC.’"
Your Wall Streeter might actually be losing money.
Source: M/34/Sales/NY "Since most hedge fund lose money, chances are, you are dating a loser."
Don't break up before Valentine's day.
Source: M/24/Trader/NY
"If you’re dating someone in finance, stick around until Valentine’s Day -- it’s right after his bonus hits the checking account, and he’ll probably want to show off a little by taking you somewhere nice."
Remember: Banker girls are also alphas.
Source: F/35/Sell-side Analyst/NYC "Let her pay sometimes. We like that we can.
Understand that work and play can sometimes go hand in hand.
Source: M/39/ex-IB/NY "What no banker’s girlfriend can ever believe is this: When a guy says he was entertaining clients -- and the girl accuses him of getting drunk on bottle service with his friends before heading to a strip club -- it’s possible for both statements to be true.”
Beware of the work function.
Source: M/24/Analyst/NY "No good can come out of your significant other attending a work function...People start having strange feelings for each other after 16 hour workdays together and a couple of drink."
Don't touch their prescription pills.
Source: M/39/ex-IB/NY "Don’t take any of our Adderall. We count it: We count everything."
Be careful of stunted emotional growth.
private equity or hedge fund, 2 years business school. Having your core 6 years plotted in advance really doesn't allow bankers to take a step back and reflect on who they are, so don't be surprised if there's an emotional maturity gap that develops as you your boyfriend/girlfriend becomes an associate."Source: M/27/IB/Miami "If you are able to last through his/her first two years, then don’t be surprised that they never got on board the “self-reflection” train. Many bankers have a very boxed mindset because they are provided with a 6 year career path essentially - 2 years banking, 2 years
Dumb.
Oh, that stunted emotional growth...
This reads like Cosmo
ermmm... not that I would know anything about that
Did you learn the 53 best hot sex move secrets?
gold bond does NOT create a delightful tingling sensation for my penis.
Wish someone had told me that earlier...
Man, I have been dating the same woman for 3 years and i don't know 25 things about her. Trust me, it is better that way....
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