Divorce: Hedge Fund Style

There are only so many good topics to write about. There are only so many interesting stories. But some things never get old. Reminding young men in today’s day and age that marriage is generally a terrible idea, is such a topic for me. In this particular case it is Martin Coward and Elena Ambrosiadou reminding us that building an empire with the one you love, often means creating a monster in your own home.

Though I am tempted to tell this particular story from a neutral perspective, my prejudices win out. Yes, it does take two to tango… but divorce is the institutionally designed rape and pillage of a man’s wallet. This story is another shining reason why. What this poor bastard is suffering through for merely dipping his PhD. pen in some Brazilian ink is the stuff you young money men of tomorrow should be very finely in tune with. You may think your girl is different and your story won’t end this way. But then again…so did Mr. Coward.

Today’s story is so sadly pathetic that it should remain stickied on the home page of your mind if you are the least bit intent on walking down the aisle at any time in the near future.

What makes this story so tough for me to comment on is that Coward, (great name for a guy losing hundreds of millions to a woman, btw) Math PhD and one of the original quants is not the typical divorced Wall Street whale harpooned by some gold digging hyena. Elena Ambrosiadou was a chemical engineering major with an MBA and senior managerial experience at BP by the age of 27. She was not the type of bird who’d fly the coup with all your cash. Or so the story goes. I can already see Eddie grinning through his snifter…they are all the type, personal achievements notwithstanding.

When the couple launched “IKOS Fund” in 1992 with $600K in seed capital, Coward was their chief strategist and the brains behind the quantitatively driven trading strategy which would go on to earn billions for the firm. He was the brains, the brawn and the balls…she was his secretary. Albeit a highly glorified one who worked as the fund’s chief administrator, paying herself a nice $26 million bonus in 2004.

This is the year the plot really began to thicken. First, Ambrosiadou masterminds the fund’s relocation to Cyprus (always a hmmmmmmm for those in the know). Then a woman named Laura Maria Van Egmond moves to Cyprus and befriends the couple pumping them for proprietary info. Later, she turns out to be Laura Merts, a Mossad chick hired by Ambrosiadou to infiltrate the IKOS faction more loyal to her husband.

In 2008, Ambrosiadou would fire Coward’s 12 deep research team while he was off skiing. She would soon go on to cop a $120 million sail boat called the Maltese Falcon and a new jet… after confiscating his. As of today, Coward has left IKOS and wifey dear is claiming that he has no ownership or equity stake in the fund.

You good folk can stick to promoting equality and silence. I will stick to my foot, her ass and a steady dose of domestic violence.

 

There has got to be more to this story. You can't just claim someone has no equity stake in the fund. This isn't China. His marriage to her alone would qualify for part of her equity stake even if he was dumb enough to put it all in her name.

 
Chicago85:
There has got to be more to this story. You can't just claim someone has no equity stake in the fund. This isn't China. His marriage to her alone would qualify for part of her equity stake even if he was dumb enough to put it all in her name.

You'd be surprised. In some ways (read: arenas corroded by feminism and political correctness) U.S. is a lot worse than China. Midas was only slightly hyperbolic when saying, "Yes, it does take two to tango… but [U.S.] divorce is the institutionally designed rape and pillage of a man’s wallet."

 
Easy:
Chicago85:
There has got to be more to this story. You can't just claim someone has no equity stake in the fund. This isn't China. His marriage to her alone would qualify for part of her equity stake even if he was dumb enough to put it all in her name.

You'd be surprised. In some ways (read: arenas corroded by feminism and political correctness) U.S. is a lot worse than China. Midas was only slightly hyperbolic when saying, "Yes, it does take two to tango… but [U.S.] divorce is the institutionally designed rape and pillage of a man’s wallet."

No, I don't think I would be suprised. In what ways would the US judicial system be worse than China, specifics? If the ownership was structured in such a way that it was all in her name and placed in an Irrevocable Trust that is the only way I can see this making sense. Or, if they have assets outside of this fund in nearly equal value that he would get in the divorce settlement.

 
happypantsmcgee][quote=LancelotLink:
Coward, 52, was (is?) dating a 23-yr old Brazilian girl...niiiiiice.
Relevant: http://i.imgur.com/nLDEH.jpg[/quote]

lol that guy has it made!

I was actually in Brazil when a big divorce case was going on where the wife (a Brazilian) made out with basically everything the American guy owned. So I struck up a convo with a nice Brazilian girl in a bar asking for her opinion (you should try that pickup line). She was quite frank in telling me she was happy for the wife, wished the wife got more, and that she would do that in a heartbeat if she had the chance. Not sure if it's a female thing, cultural thing, or poor thing, but it was depressingly unromantic.

Then I told her I was Mark Zuckerberg.

yellow t-shirt
 

This is where the go old days of RYU in street fighter would DO A 100 HIT COMBO AND GO SHO RYU KEN AND HAAAAAADOOOOOOOO KENNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ON HER ASSS

All things are possible with Him i have to deal
 
corsaire:
This is where the go old days of RYU in street fighter would DO A 100 HIT COMBO AND GO SHO RYU KEN AND HAAAAAADOOOOOOOO KENNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ON HER ASSS
I bet you're asian.
If I had asked people what they wanted, they would have said faster horses - Henry Ford
 

article sux, first they say the two became billionaires then it states their personal wealth at 313m.

Does not compute.

What pisses me off about this thing the most is that this chick probably thought she was a hotshot co-owning this fund when she really was just a glorified secretary.

 

He probably didn't comment on her new hair cut.

If your dreams don't scare you, then they are not big enough. "There are two types of people in this world: People who say they pee in the shower, and dirty fucking liars."-Louis C.K.
 

What happened here is something that happens all the time--someone got more enamored with something else (money) than she was with the other person. It started out good and went wrong, and it sucks. I don't think you can blame the institution for the failings of individuals within that institution, Midas.

Metal. Music. Life. www.headofmetal.com
 
In The Flesh:
What happened here is something that happens all the time--someone got more enamored with something else (money) than she was with the other person. It started out good and went wrong, and it sucks. I don't think you can blame the institution for the failings of individuals within that institution, Midas.

This is a good point.

If your dreams don't scare you, then they are not big enough. "There are two types of people in this world: People who say they pee in the shower, and dirty fucking liars."-Louis C.K.
 

It sounds like she ran the fund. I mean yeah, a good quant with a good strategy is good, but if he doesn't have people entrusting him with money, then he is gonna keep doing paper trades. Maybe make a mill or 2, but let's face it, a simple quant would not generally be able to build and run a successful fund. These 2 are partners in the fund. If a partnership broke up and partners were dividing the assets, how do you think that would have worked out? With the quanty dude getting the most? I don't think so

More is good, all is better
 
Argonaut:
It sounds like she ran the fund. I mean yeah, a good quant with a good strategy is good, but if he doesn't have people entrusting him with money, then he is gonna keep doing paper trades. Maybe make a mill or 2, but let's face it, a simple quant would not generally be able to build and run a successful fund. These 2 are partners in the fund. If a partnership broke up and partners were dividing the assets, how do you think that would have worked out? With the quanty dude getting the most? I don't think so

Actually I very much think so. The guy with the power at a hedge fund is the one generating the returns. Coward was THE product. You can raise billions but without a way to deploy it, you have nothing to sell.

This is what happens when you get into business with your significant other. From my experience (multiple family members and family friends), this is the worst thing you can do. People have a tough time managing their personal problems. Toss in professional resentment and its a recipe for disaster.

 
Best Response
baddebt88:
Argonaut:
It sounds like she ran the fund. I mean yeah, a good quant with a good strategy is good, but if he doesn't have people entrusting him with money, then he is gonna keep doing paper trades. Maybe make a mill or 2, but let's face it, a simple quant would not generally be able to build and run a successful fund. These 2 are partners in the fund. If a partnership broke up and partners were dividing the assets, how do you think that would have worked out? With the quanty dude getting the most? I don't think so

This is what happens when you get into business with your significant other. From my experience (multiple family members and family friends), this is the worst thing you can do. People have a tough time managing their personal problems. Toss in professional resentment and its a recipe for disaster.

During a group project in college, we were given the task of running a shoe company and performing a presentation on our learnings. The first thing one group said was, "For the love of all that is holy, do NOT GO INTO BUSINESS WITH YOUR FRIENDS."

Metal. Music. Life. www.headofmetal.com
 
Argonaut:
It sounds like she ran the fund. I mean yeah, a good quant with a good strategy is good, but if he doesn't have people entrusting him with money, then he is gonna keep doing paper trades. Maybe make a mill or 2, but let's face it, a simple quant would not generally be able to build and run a successful fund. These 2 are partners in the fund. If a partnership broke up and partners were dividing the assets, how do you think that would have worked out? With the quanty dude getting the most? I don't think so
Michael Burry disagrees with all of your points ;)
 
d993103164:
maybe he was fooling around behind her with the brazilian chick. in that case he deserves it!
Seems like they were both 'over' the marriage, she just pulled the trigger first and being that she handled the paperwork knew where to go for the jugular.

I'm still thinking there's more going on here.

Get busy living
 

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More is good, all is better

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