I was listening to a previous episode of the Content Warfare Podcast when Ryan Hanley mentioned that he's about to have a kid and how that milestone was changing his approach to business. It instantly brought me back to my old stockbroker days because, believe it or not, management encouraged knocking someone up all the time for this very reason.
Don't get me wrong; it's a terrible idea, but you can't argue with the fact that the external pressure caused by another mouth to feed is going to light a fire under your ass. This post isn't about becoming a parent, however; it's about how external pressures can drive you to succeed.
Management at my old firm knew this. That's why they wholeheartedly supported guys getting into enormous amounts of consumer debt. I still remember the smile on Roy's face when I pulled up to the office in a brand new Chevy Blazer after my first decent paycheck. When I told him there was a brand new lime-green Geo Prizm (ugliest goddamned car in the world) in my garage as well, he was practically beaming.
Management understood the correlation between outside pressure and increased production, and you never saw this more pronounced than when one of the guys had some girl pull up pregnant. I had more than one buddy go from borderline slacker to cold-call cowboy overnight when he found out he was about to be a dad.
Likewise, when somebody had a monster AMEX bill due (back in the days when AMEX was a charge account and had to be paid in full every month), you'd see a level of motivation and resourcefulness come out in them that you hadn't seen before.
I myself was no different. I allowed myself to get buried in consumer debt and a mortgage. Every dollar I got deeper in the hole, I worked that much harder to get out. Oddly enough, my first divorce (due in no small part to all the financial pressures of that debt) drove me to work even harder, because now I had all that debt to repay and I needed to get laid once in a while.
My point in all this is not to advocate getting into debt; you guys already know my feelings on that. Nor is it to encourage you to become a parent, which is about the dumbest thing you can do to yourself financially (even dumber than marriage).
My point is to get you to think about what having that kind of pressure would be like, and then act as if. Act as if you spent all last season betting big on the Jets. Act as if you have to finance your parents' retirement. Act as if your regular booty call just texted you that "We need to talk and it's important. #ninemonths".
Rather than actually getting yourself into these nightmare scenarios, try to convince yourself that you had, even for just a week or so, and see what it does to your motivation and productivity. Major life commitments change your approach to business and have a knack for clarifying what is important and what is just noise.
Some of you guys who already have kids can back me up on this. It definitely changes your outlook on business. There was certainly no altruistic intent behind my old firm encouraging guys to have kids, but the end result was the same: increased production.
The trick is to light that fire under your ass without actually lighting that fire under your ass.
Or just knock up a rich chick and avoid the stress altogether.
Part of my career plan definitely involves gold digging.
And that's me gold digging, not the girl.
Is it bad that me acting like I had bet big on the Jets last season was to plug my toaster in next to the bath tub?
One of my very first Sales Managers once told me to go buy a car I cant afford for this very reason
ninemonths has me dying laughing
I hope someday I get a text JUST like that
Classic Eddie post. I like it. Now I know why Back Door Mark was such a Type B person.
I will likely take the coward way out and just run. That bastard is better off without me being there.
This actually does yeild results, and my friends with kids are typically more responsible and focused. Thing is, they're less happy the earlier they started having kids. Compare the friends that got married at 22 ish and those that held off until 30 ish, and it's like night and day. One does things because they're prepared and excited to do something.....the other camp hate life and do things because they have to.
If you're under the age of 25 and aren't financially stable yet, don't do this. The American nightmare, courtesy of your self appointed corporate and political overlords, is to enslave you to debt and personal obligations you're not ready for. This is subtle, thorough, and entirely intentional....check out our foreign policy if you want an inkling of how effective a means of cultural control this is.
With these types of pressures, you take less wellthough out voluntary risk and more risks out of sheer desperation, and when they don't pan out you'll settle for far less than you're capable just to feel some sense of secutiry. I come from a working class town and this is what I saw growing up, it wasn't until meeting middle class folks at college did I see that other ways of life existed. Maybe that works for some, but stop and think about the mindset you're creating for yourself. This is not freedom, it's tyranny of the mind...does making money have that much of a grip over your psyche? For every guy that makes it, there's a thousand suckers, and you might as well not hate every minute of panicking to pay bills you don't need yet.
Our founding fathers are rolling over in their graves. This wasn't the plan. It's what they rebelled against and what they warned us America would become.
Ed, I'm raining on this parade.
Most people here will grow up soon enough.
Well said, UFO. SB for you!!
For those of you on this site who are in High School/College/Recent Grad who are not married and do not have kids (i.e. no real obligations) take serious note of what UFO says about having "personal obligations you are not ready for." This could mean anything: kids, debt, mortgage (a different kind of debt, obviously), marriage or anything else that will have you tied down.
I recently was giving some advice to a top 3rd year associate in our group about whether or not to go the A-to-A route. He wanted to do it, but take a year off in between (which I thought was a great idea). I advised him that a 25 year old with three years as an IB analyst has shown their maturity, work ethic, intelligence, etc. well beyond many of their peers and should not feel the need to permanently stay on that path. I told him that he should spend the next few years doing something that he might not have the opportunity to do once he is 33 and has kids.
Once you have wife and kids, your life changes forever. However, whether that change is mostly for the positive or the negative is mostly up to you. I got married at 30 and had my daughter at 32. Before that, I had a lot of fun, did a lot of drinking, probably had sex too much and generally enjoyed life the way I wanted to. When it came time to 'settle down' I was more than ready. On the flip, side I have seen friends who fell into the marriage/kid trap before age 25 and I think they have a lot of regrets.
Do yourself a favor and spend your high school/college/20s both working hard and playing hard, while staying away from lifechanging entanglements....
I just don't understand the purpose of doing this. Put yourself in more stress that will lead to even more stress so you can try and eliminate the stress?
Why? Find a girl with a trust fund and be done with it.
@EdmundoBraverman: You don't think this thread could possibly blow up, do you?
You gotta wait till at least 29-30 before you tie the knot, there is too much to do before that age and a married life just kills the fun. Too much responsibility too soon. Some people love that shit though, my brother married at 23, he hadn't even graduated at that time but he got married had a kid and that lit a fire under him and now he's a proud owner of a McMansion in Dallas lol. Difference strokes for different folks I guess...
I'm 24, have a 4 year old and 3 year old and have been happily married since I was 19.
I would agree that having kids and a family makes me hungry as hell for my goals and success. I love my family and wouldn't do anything to change what I have.
With that being said, even if I was single I would be hungry as hell. What drives me is the fact that I am chasing the golden carrot and have a goal of being a millionaire well before I am 30. I know and have faith I will get there also!
What drives me is the goals that I have set for myself. I would hope the rest of the people on here have concrete goals they have set and plans in action to get there. I have some important ones besides being a millionaire that are shorter term to get me there. The most important thing is believing in oneself and having the total faith and confidence that you can accomplish anything you dedicate yourself to.
Persistence in carrying out the plans of action is one of the most important characteristics an individual can foster in oneself. Persistence and a constant positive mindset should get a motivated individual anywhere he or she is willing to go in life!
I think some of you may have missed my point. I'm not advocating for you to go out and have a kid. Quite the opposite, in fact. I'm merely pointing out that those sorts of lifetime commitments drive a great many people toward success, so you should do what you can to simulate that pressure on yourself.
For God's sake, don't have a kid in your 20s.
Haha, as I was reading the comments I was actually wondering if I misread the post.
3 years ago I got married and bought a house, 3 months ago I had a son. My wife and I are in a place in our lives where we can take these things in stride financially (emotionally and rationing sleep are a whole different ball game). If I would've done any of these things 5 years earlier, I'd be a disaster.
Because we were both comfortable financially the house wasn't an issue for us. The real kicker, as Eddie eluded to, was the kid. It's sort of an odd psychological experiment - I want to kick ass and provide for him, but also want to leave work early every day and spend time with him.
.
.
Moral of the story is to find that fire and keep it going rather than let someone else light a fire under your ass that might take you to the next level, but leaving you unhappy and worst off in many ways.
I got married in my late twenties and quite frankly it was a fucking life changing experience. Needless to say, shit ain't what I had anticipated and did find out a lot about myself. As much as my asshole statement about running away, it is just my self realization that someone like me shouldn't have kids.
@ Eddie, I probably should have put my point as a caveat to yours. What you're saying holds water, I'm just adding that holding off a bit is a better idea. Considering the average WSO fanboi is about 20, I just wanted the obvious stated.
LOL this reminds me of a college professor I had years ago. The guy had 9 kids starting at the age of 18, truly loved his wife and his life, and encouraged people to start families. Thing is, he was teaching a bunch of 17 year olds an entry level physics course and I remember thinking "dude, consider your audience! these people are highly impressionable and morons are going to go out and have kids now"
I smell Mormon.
I'll do what Jim Rogers did. Get filthy rich, live my life and get that monkey energy out of my system first.
And then, when I'm 50, I'll knock a 30 years old and have kids.
Regarding the point Eddie is making, it is true only to a certain extent. That type of pressure is not healthy and can turn you into a desperate/insane (i.e. zombie like) person.
I use this same technique, but instead of "baby" pressure, I pretend I'm going on a two week vacation starting Saturday. Its amazing how much work I can get done with this fake deadline in the immediate future.
Good post, Eddie.
And, awesome book, dude!!
@LetsGoSailing Your life is a vacation! Glad you enjoyed the book.
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