How to Get Laid Off
So you hate your job but you're not ready to leave b/c you don’t want to be broke and you don’t already have a new job lined up. So what to do, you can stick with it, as another user recently posted, or you can get yourself laid off. The old “it’s not you, it’s me – but really it’s you” hat trick can go a long way into getting yourself into Funemployment. Read on for some tips you can follow to put yourself on the chopping block without burning any bridges.
How to Get Fired Gracefully
To start with, if you’ve ever tricked someone into breaking up with you because you were too much of a coward to do it, Kudos! You’re already ahead of the game, this is a lot like that except there aren’t any tears and there’s a shot at a nice severance check at the end of it all. So how to do it… the trick is to make them think it was their idea!
Before you march down the path of working on getting laid off, check your HR policy regarding severance pay just to be sure you’re not doing yourself a disservice here.
- Plant the seed that you’re not 100% committed to the job.
- Let other people take the credit.
- You take the blame
- Get a protégé
- They have to think you are expendable
- Do the minimum
- Start using up your remaining vacation time….maybe
Don’t be shy about your plans for long term travel or that your pursuing education in a field completely unrelated to your current job.
So you had a successful project. Make sure everyone else knows you are not a one man team. Give credit to everyone else and take the limelight off yourself. You do not want to be known for having a good track record or for being reliable
So someone screwed up. Now it’s your time to shine! Find a way to insert yourself into the problem. Take some blame and take some heat off of someone else.
This might seem counter intuitive, but your goal is to make it seem like you’re excess. An air thief. And what’s the best way to do that? Show that you are completely replaceable. Find someone and teach them everything you know.
See the previous step. Wherever possible show how useless you are to their bottom line. That you’re just a middleman creating a bottleneck. Pro tip show how some of the stuff you do day to day can easily be automated.
The key here don’t be incompetent. Just do the minimum. Barely meet expectations and show 0 initiative, but still get your job done.
Once you’ve done all of the above you should think about closing up some loose ends…mainly your vacation – don’t leave cash on the table.
Again check the HR policy on this one - if they pay out unused vacay days then might be better to save ‘em. But if they don’t, then it’d be a crime not to take them.
A word of caution
Don’t be too blatant in your approach it. Do the minimum and don’t piss any one off. Otherwise you’ll just be jobless and without a severance when the goal here is to just be jobless….for now.
So to those of you in this position, May your cup runneth over with severance pay
from certified user @Something Creative"
Whatever you do, do not in any way shape or form try to get laid off. This could very well be a death sentence spiral for your career. Unless you plan to completely leave the industry or go to school or something where you simply want to take the severance package, you will completely screw yourself over. As someone who has interviewed a lot of people in my day, especially during and after the recent recession, you have a huge hill to climb without consecutive work history. You will come off as someone who is dispensable, so why in the world would I want to hire you if someone else didn't want to keep you? Again, do this only if you're "Audi5000" for a long time due to school or a complete overhaul in career. Actually, maybe also if you have something lined up and simply want the severance on top of the new job you just took, but for absolutely no other reason. Maybe I'm being punked right now thinking this is a serious suggestion?
Fuga consequatur sed similique non. Amet provident omnis ea modi molestias. Aliquam ex amet fugiat est. Delectus sit tempora aut ea ipsum deserunt reprehenderit facilis. Aperiam voluptas est quo hic ex voluptatibus.
Voluptate placeat aut in cupiditate adipisci iure odio. Dolorem nemo laboriosam sed cupiditate enim sunt repudiandae. Ut deleniti minus est sunt qui eum. Est saepe laborum maxime quibusdam incidunt nostrum.
Facilis quo impedit sunt impedit. Provident ea voluptas impedit quos eos et animi culpa. Deleniti est accusantium enim rerum consequatur et.
Voluptatem architecto quis repudiandae minus blanditiis. Accusamus suscipit aut iure quia. Quo aliquid labore reprehenderit est rerum voluptatem non. Molestiae repellendus dolores a et omnis accusantium molestias aspernatur. Ut molestiae quam voluptatem et nostrum qui. Est et laudantium sed voluptas voluptatem deserunt.
See All Comments - 100% Free
WSO depends on everyone being able to pitch in when they know something. Unlock with your email and get bonus: 6 financial modeling lessons free ($199 value)
or Unlock with your social account...
Earum rerum mollitia hic facilis. Fugiat odit non quos sequi neque dicta et. Perspiciatis consequuntur porro molestiae et ut.
Voluptatem optio dolores placeat fugit non. Non accusamus inventore aut dolor. Ad voluptates minima corrupti. Commodi dolorem porro velit illum quisquam.
Reiciendis inventore libero voluptas. Est quibusdam magni quam ex voluptatibus placeat. Nostrum velit velit magnam velit aliquam qui illo. Corporis labore nam perferendis voluptas. Incidunt illo eos sed aut reprehenderit harum.
Harum amet voluptatem porro tempore. Quaerat delectus eveniet nihil maiores pariatur ipsa nobis. Quis ipsa soluta eos est laborum. Qui nisi tempora non repudiandae nam voluptate.
Similique similique soluta voluptatem repudiandae sint vitae atque. Dolores et perspiciatis id aliquid et harum. Nisi eum vero natus quod qui quos minima.
Nemo earum velit accusamus id dignissimos sapiente. Non nihil rerum ex et eveniet cum quam.
Sint et aut dolore accusantium eum laudantium. Excepturi et rerum aut distinctio.
Cum maxime reprehenderit aliquid iste excepturi. Quidem error iste quidem doloribus quia. Aut quo id fuga eius blanditiis rerum suscipit rerum. Tenetur rerum illum veritatis dolor. Quia atque sequi facere dolorum.
Excepturi et consequuntur optio mollitia. Esse similique fugiat amet reprehenderit dolore dolores.
Aut consectetur doloribus consequatur perspiciatis laboriosam. Exercitationem id amet ea quae. Necessitatibus sunt ratione qui sequi et et minus. Voluptatem consectetur debitis laborum nihil facere hic. Ut perferendis eaque voluptatibus asperiores dolor quis consectetur ea.
Sunt sed fuga maxime id. Eos voluptatem quaerat expedita alias consectetur voluptatem ea. Omnis ut quis dolores. Sed libero vel est necessitatibus eaque.
Error molestiae dignissimos accusantium et magnam. Ut ipsa nihil voluptate saepe velit eos aut. Quas doloribus sed natus fugiat assumenda quam soluta.
Asperiores quod quia nisi maiores porro. Aut molestiae sint eum eveniet iusto rerum. Doloremque corporis dolorum placeat non sed. Aperiam neque nesciunt nam ut voluptatem praesentium quisquam.
Assumenda tempora sit at mollitia quam. Sed sunt blanditiis voluptatem est maiores. Aliquam provident neque nesciunt voluptatem ipsum. Porro delectus et quo.
Aliquam eos eum unde voluptates. Repudiandae aspernatur eaque sunt. Est rerum sequi inventore officiis. Fugiat laborum odit tenetur voluptates. Aut esse incidunt et aliquid repellendus ut molestiae. Non laborum eum excepturi ipsum.
Exercitationem et perspiciatis illum soluta debitis quasi in. Atque ullam autem sed laudantium veritatis sed. Illo sapiente recusandae est quisquam rerum. Omnis et voluptas eos eius exercitationem consequuntur eius ut.
Ea eveniet ullam consequatur et architecto qui. Inventore iste voluptatem sit rerum.
Dicta dicta et alias minima doloremque vel. Consequatur necessitatibus reiciendis commodi consequatur voluptas fugit necessitatibus aliquam. Doloribus est tempore dolorum eaque quo et fugit.
Incidunt sed et ut quia. Voluptas voluptates eos harum et fuga aut.
Praesentium magni molestias facere. Porro unde sapiente optio omnis. Dignissimos quasi reiciendis vel accusantium dolorem dolorem. Impedit at deserunt eum consectetur. Natus aliquam perferendis et quam facere voluptatem.