With a handful of our certified users acknowledging that they are either cashing out or thinking about walking out the door, I thought this would be an appropriate time to remind everyone why we got into finance in the first place. Models & Bottles.
After acing our business classes and killing our interviews, NYC's top clubs is our right of passage. We deserve this. Don't we?
Sorry boys, but this models bottles mentality is nothing more than a misplaced dream.
I should not have to be the one to tell a bunch of over-qualified, finance graduates that spending a 20x multiple on a bottle of Grey Goose is a dumb idea. Though, the clubs certainly aren't complaining.
Just last year alone, the top 100 clubs in the US generated over $1.4 billion in revenue,. Marquee Nightclub in Las Vegas raked in a record-breaking $70 million alone. Of the highest grossing clubs, NYC made the list with hot spots like LAVO, Pacha, 1Oak, and Avenue. Undoubtedly, clubs live off your models bottles fantasy. Even for the most unsociable of willing bankers, club promoters try their hardest to make reality of the M&B facade.
She is not a pimp or a madam, she says. "It's not our job to get anybody laid." What the hosts do is more like placement. They are puzzle-doers, wielding a table chart and making sure the room looks good, depositing models beside Wall Street bankers in a Rubik's Cube of dovetailing desire.
To all the club owners, promoters, and bottle girls, bankers are nothing but "whales". It should come to no surprise to you that a bottle girl's performance is determined by how many whales she has in her phone book. At the end of the night, your business card is still far behind celebrities, athletes, and Russian billionaires.
The celebrities and the athletes and the tycoons are the ones for whom this world is zealously designed. A rung below in after-workare the money guys, the Deutsche guys and the Goldman guys and the no-name hedge-fund guys--the "whales"--guys like that one over there in a Boss and John Lobb shoes, standing beside the table that cost him $3,000...The bigger the whale you reel, the better a bottle girl you are. The more you siphon from the whales, the more you mean to the club.
Even after it all, I know there are going to be some college juniors and seniors ready to vindicate NYC's finest tables. If that is the case, then perhaps it's best to get philosophical with you:
She [club girl] is hooking up with a 20-year-old male model but he's not here tonight and she's got her eye out for something else. Girls like her are either dating older men with money or young and good-looking ones without. There is a stupendous symmetry to this. The rich old men want to be young and good-looking and the young ones want to be rich, but both are sleeping with the same girl.
So what do you say, are you willing to be a whale poppin' bottles at one of NYC's top clubs?