Rip my Cover Letter to Shreds

Hey all, looking for some feedback on this cover letter template. Rip it to shreds and please provide any relevant information on experience with cover letters. Thanks!

Dear COMPANY Recruitment Team or NAME OF PERSON,

Throughout my college career, I have made it a priority to learn about a variety of career paths and different opportunities. I know it’s critical that I pursue a role that will play to my strengths and work style. As someone who enjoys a challenge and working in a fast-paced competitive environment, CONSULTING/SPECIFIC TYPE OF CONSULTING has always stood out to me as a field where I would thrive.

I will be graduating in May of YEAR with degrees in Finance and Accounting from NAME OF COLLEGE. I am extremely interested in an opportunity with COMPANY as A/AN NAME OF POSITION in CITY and I believe that my experience, skills, drive, and enthusiasm make me an excellent candidate for the following reasons:

  • Double major in Finance and Accounting at top 10 business school with a GPA of 3.7.
  • Work experience and internships that strengthened quantitative, qualitative, collaboration, and communication skills.
  • Consulting intern at COMPANY: I saw first-hand how I can leverage my unique skill set and field-specific knowledge to provide clients with first-rate service. I was assigned to projects providing me with exposure to different parts of the GROUP process which included financial modeling, PowerPoint preparation, and *THIRD REASON*.

I appreciate the time and effort dedicated to attracting new talent at COMPANY and I would be honored to be considered for this role. While I understand securing a position at COMPANY is highly competitive, I am confident that I bring the right skills and mindset to learn, grow, and contribute to the success of the team. Attached is my resume, and I would welcome the opportunity to meet with you or someone on your team to share my enthusiasm for this role and the company. Thank you for your time.

Sincerely,

Name

Phone #

Email

2 Comments
 

Based on the highest ranked content on WSO, here are some detailed suggestions to improve your cover letter:

Structure and Content Improvements:

  1. Opening Paragraph:

    • Current Version: "Throughout my college career, I have made it a priority to learn about a variety of career paths and different opportunities. I know it’s critical that I pursue a role that will play to my strengths and work style. As someone who enjoys a challenge and working in a fast-paced competitive environment, CONSULTING/SPECIFIC TYPE OF CONSULTING has always stood out to me as a field where I would thrive."
    • Improvement: Start with a strong hook that directly connects your passion and skills to the company and role. For example: I am excited to apply for the [Position] at company, as I believe my background in Finance and Accounting, combined with my passion for [Specific Type of Consulting], aligns perfectly with the dynamic and challenging environment at company.
  2. Middle Paragraphs:

    • Current Version: "I will be graduating in May of YEAR with degrees in Finance and Accounting from NAME OF COLLEGE. I am extremely interested in an opportunity with COMPANY as A/AN NAME OF POSITION in CITY and I believe that my experience, skills, drive, and enthusiasm make me an excellent candidate for the following reasons:
      • Double major in Finance and Accounting at top 10 business school with a GPA of 3.7.
      • Work experience and internships that strengthened quantitative, qualitative, collaboration, and communication skills.
      • Consulting intern at COMPANY: I saw first-hand how I can leverage my unique skill set and field-specific knowledge to provide clients with first-rate service. I was assigned to projects providing me with exposure to different parts of the GROUP process which included financial modeling, PowerPoint preparation, and THIRD REASON."
    • Improvement: Be more specific about your achievements and how they relate to the role. For example:

      I will be graduating in May [Year] with degrees in Finance and Accounting from [Name of College], where I have maintained a GPA of 3.7. My academic background, combined with my hands-on experience, makes me a strong candidate for the [Position] at company in City. - At [Top 10 Business School], I have honed my analytical and quantitative skills, excelling in courses such as [Relevant Courses]. - My internships have provided me with practical experience in financial modeling, data analysis, and client presentations, enhancing my ability to deliver high-quality work under tight deadlines. - As a Consulting Intern at [Previous Company], I successfully contributed to [Specific Projects], where I developed [Specific Skills] and gained exposure to [Relevant Processes].
  3. Closing Paragraph:

    • Current Version: "I appreciate the time and effort dedicated to attracting new talent at COMPANY and I would be honored to be considered for this role. While I understand securing a position at COMPANY is highly competitive, I am confident that I bring the right skills and mindset to learn, grow, and contribute to the success of the team. Attached is my resume, and I would welcome the opportunity to meet with you or someone on your team to share my enthusiasm for this role and the company. Thank you for your time."
    • Improvement: Reiterate your enthusiasm and fit for the role, and end with a call to action. For example:

      I am genuinely excited about the opportunity to join company and contribute to your team. I am confident that my skills, experience, and passion for [Specific Type of Consulting] will allow me to make a meaningful impact. I look forward to the possibility of discussing how I can contribute to the success of company. Thank you for considering my application. Sincerely, [Your Name] [Phone Number] [Email Address]

Additional Tips:

  • Personalization: Make sure to personalize the cover letter for each application. Mention specific projects or values of the company that resonate with you.
  • Quantify Achievements: Whenever possible, quantify your achievements to provide concrete evidence of your skills and impact.
  • Professional Tone: Maintain a professional tone throughout the letter, while also showing your enthusiasm and fit for the role.

By incorporating these suggestions, your cover letter will be more compelling and tailored to the specific role and company you are applying to.

Sources: CV Review - please rip my CV apart, Resume and cover letter - a reviewers perspective, Please tear apart my resume - 3rd Year Analyst, ,

I'm an AI bot trained on the most helpful WSO content across 17+ years.
 

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