Shit on my cold email

The whole TA in class thing is so cringe. Just cut to the chase. You go to the same school and they already know why you’re reaching out

Agree with the others. Keep it short and to-the-point. No need to open with inauthentic simping - if you're a college student emailing them they'll know exactly why you're reaching out. I would focus more on volume - get as many of these out as you can, it's a numbers game!

I agree with everyone else. Also — just delete the last paragraph. You want it to be as short as possible (greeting, intro, call to action, that’s basically it)

Delete the last line but looks good. I wouldn't go into the specifics of CDD / industry unless you can truly verify that on their LinkedIn. 

I wouldn't go into that level of detail, some folks take that the wrong way when you jump on a networking call with them. They might think you're trying to find out if they have a job opening / internship rather than learning about their experiences. I remember being the only MBA student that a consulting alum blew off for coffee chats. I stupidly was very specific about one of their work experiences in their email and it probably came off way too focused on what I was looking to get out of a 15-30 min chat. Found out later that everyone else I knew who asked this alum for a coffee chat had no problem getting in touch.

Some of the best calls I've had with cold emails was just asking to learn more about their role / company. Granted, this works best when they're in actual corporate companies and mid-sized companies/startups in niche industries than consulting firms.

The opener is not relevant at all. If you spend any time in the conversation discussing classes, you're wasting time and opportunity. 

It is fine to bond over things outside of consulting, but it MUST be something people care about. 

You can look at acethesolve's guide on networking into consulting. There's some tips there. 

Are you gay? 

1. Leave out the first sentence ("hope you've had a great week")
2. "My name is", not "I'm"
3. If they're an alumni, it's enough of a reason to reach out, no explanation needed (so I agree leave out the whole TA thing)
4. No exclamation marks (people in IB aren't happy)
5. Leave out the last sentence, a "Thank you in advance" is enough.
6. This is a general tip for the future, whenever you suggest a specific time for a call, block off that time on your calendar so you don't double book.
7. Rule of thumb for the future, whatever you think could be left out, should be left out. They decide within 10 seconds if you're worth replying to, don't add unnecessary stuff.

Good luck

LOL

You're coming at this from the wrong angle. 

I would follow the rule of three: three sentences read in three seconds. 

"Hello {x}, 

I'm a {x}-year student studying {subject} at school with experiences in [x, y, and z]. I'm interested in learning about your experiences in [area/position] at Firm. Do you happen to have 10-15 minutes for a quick chat? 

Thank you, 
FirstName LastName"

The above opens with a synopsis of yourself, shows you've done some research, not just a spray and pray, and requsts time that can be decided upon when/if you get a response. I also tend to attach my resume for them to skim; I find most people, myself included typically scan the LinkedIn or resume either before responding or before the chat itself. 

I agree with the other comment, it's a bit of an odd-opener. Rather you bring up hobbies in the chat (near the end), or informally down the line. I'd also add that pre-selecting a time without them having responded is not a great first impression.  

Also, an underrated approach is to follow up after 1-3 weeks (first follow up) with something like "Hey x - just bringing this to the top of your inbox." or a "Hey, just kindly following up". So long as you don't pester ((as in send 3-4 follow ups, you should be fine to do this.