The Consultant's Creed
I believe in Consultant,
the advisor almighty,
creator of shareholder value,
and in BCG, McKinsey, and Bain,
who were conceived by the Magnificent Seven,
born of Case in Point,
suffered under investment bankers,
were crucified, dead, and PIP-ed;
They descended to the Big Four;
On the third day they rose again from the beach;
They ascended to the board room,
and sitteth on the right hand of the F500 CEO almighty;
From thence they shall come to judge the high-leverage and the low-hanging fruit.
I believe in the Management Consultant,
the holy target university,
the communion of synergies,
the forgiveness of misaligned logos,
the resurrection of the company,
and fees everlasting.
Amen.
What the fuck is this.
Is this what happens when a man goes to Uchicago?
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