Stuck in bad private CRE credit role

I work for a senior and subordinate middle market lender - small shop without discretionary capital.  Our pricing is 100-150 bps wide of real lenders. It sucks and I’ve been trying to leave but obviously can’t land anything.  I do originations and underwriting. I got laid off 3 years ago and haven’t been able to recover and now I’m making less than half of what I was in my previous role.  I’ve gone out to my network several times and now it feels like I’ve exhausted my contacts and have come up empty. Had some interviews but nothing landed- not even sure anyone got hired for those positions. I’m in my 40s so I’m really scared that this is just how it is now- confluence of interest rates, negative leverage, and AI. I am seeing a big increase in newly built assets that are Completely upside down. The pref’s last dollar is at ~95-100% stabilized LTV but the property is fighting 3 months of concessions just to slowly lease up over the next 1.5 years and now SASBs from 3-5 years ago are starting to hit special servicing in droves. Maybe blood in the streets is what we need but I am not that far from tapping my 401k just to survive. This is worse than GFC, we knew we would come out of that. Today it’s hard to see the light.