Generation: Hedge Fund / Investment Banking Influencer

I want to puke a little bit here now, because I just can't take this hypocritical anymore. Most of the wannabe Gordon Gekkos are only interested in the prestige of Gordon Gekko. Nothing more. 

Nobody cares if they work at Goldman Sachs in the call center or in structuring. The main thing is Goldman Sachs. Instead of talking about work, everyone just asks for some stupid interview questions, which are asked by useless recruiters, instead of trading somehow. 

On LinkedIn, everyone is the hottest. They always have the coolest jobs, at the coolest companies, but they are not able to change a stupid light bulb. 

I don't know how it is in the US, however Europe is just creepy. More than embarrassing even.

I am finally signing the incorporation papers for my hedge fund vehicle on Monday. Have previously worked at a Bloomberg top-100 SM HF ($8bn, multistrat) as a quant and just know that performance is the most important thing of all. It doesn't matter how you get it, you just have to achieve it, otherwise you're out. It doesn't matter if you're sitting in the pool in a bathing suit or standing on your office chair in a suit.

I am currently trying to establish the same here in Europe in my hedge fund. Problem: All the kids only care about the damn office and whether you have to wear an expensive suit to work. At best with a briefcase. I just can't understand it. Money is secondary, everyone wants a nice office with yoga and other shit.

What the fu** is wrong with all these people? In my team I have good performing personalities, but I notice that this is a dying breed. 

How do you get into a fu**ing hedge fund, you want to know? With skills on the job. I'm not interested in your grades or kindergarten internships. I don't need someone to fill out an Excel for me, we've automated most of it anyway. 

It even seems to me that in Europe everyone just wants to go to PWC or EY instead of working at some asset managers. Why?

It would be really interesting to know how the other HFs set up their recruiting in Europe.

It would also be interesting to know if it's just me? I feel like we have an investment banking influencer generation....

Comments (7)

JediMasterYoda, what's your opinion? Comment below:

What's the point of your topic?

  • Associate 3 in PE - LBOs

Apologies if this sounds crude but from reading this post… if I had to guess:

- did alright/ok at $8bn SM multistrategy fund but wasn't skilled enough (despite all his/her ranting about needing skill) to get better economics

- decided to start his/her own fund in Europe with the idea that running a small portfolio translates into being able to run an investment business

- shocked that actually talented analysts (who understand how risk-reward expected values work) don't want to work for a start-up fund with no name and no desire to provide basic economic/ yoga benefits to its analysts

Funny part is that this poster laments how European analysts only care about prestige when ironically the only incentive that analysts have to join his/her new fund is prestige. At least EY/PWC offer some basic economic / yoga benefits?

I think these analysts are more rational NPVers than you think.

Most Helpful
  • PM in HF - Other

The hedge fund should warm up with €500M in the first year. Otherwise, I would not do the whole thing.

I also have no problem paying people a good salary. 

It's people like you that are the problem. You are calculating a stupid NPV. You could pay me 100 times more than I make now and I wouldn't do the job of an accountant/consultant. Are people so dead inside that they don't care what they are doing anyway? 

I think you spend a lot of your time in your job. Why do you do that? Are you neglecting your family based on a ridiculous job? Have little contact with family and friends because you're alone at night doing some slides for your boss.... You think that money or the NPV can outweigh something like that? Wake up ...

The Big 4 are working for us as administrators. That's what people want to do? Calculate our NAV and guide our customers through KYC.... you think that's cool? What drive do you have for such a job? 

If I hate my job, then no amount of nice surroundings will make me like it. A yoga class is not going to make me happy here! If you need something like that to start at a company, then you've done something wrong. Maybe you should rethink your career choice then. I don't want to buy people. I want to have people who really want to do things. The kind of people who would do the job even if they didn't have any money and weren't successful.

Starting my hedge fund was a conscious decision. I am addicted to gambling in a certain way. I do it because I love it. I love to win. I love winning together with my team against others. It drives me and keeps me up at night. 

I don't even pay myself a salary. I don't care about money. I have enough of it and it doesn't make me happy. I also don't think that a high salary should be an incentive to do a job that you wouldn't do otherwise. 

  • 5
  • Associate 2 in IB-M&A

Ignore title, I work in investing. 

I don't understand the point of this: there are many out there who are performance focused and oriented. I consider myself one. You make it seem like a binary choice: work somewhere you love and screw the benefits, versus work somewhere you hate with all the benefits. In reality, the best candidates can find the best of both - my employer has a gym, yoga service, etc., and we still perform well. Unless the economics you're offering are that stellar + your track record is highly distinguished such that the risk of a startup fund is diminished, you're not going to see the type of candidates that you're referencing. Just play the long game, and the right folks will come. 

  • 1
Mitchy, what's your opinion? Comment below:

Never heard of talented QR who wanted to wear the most expensive suit. Mainly the opposite, they want a good wlb and wear shorts ..

flyfishchad, what's your opinion? Comment below:

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Chucks Feed n Seed, what's your opinion? Comment below:

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