How to mentally reset after leaving a toxic position?

Associate 2 in S&T - Other

Finally got a new position after trying to leave my toxic boss (I refuse to call him PM any more) for the last 9 months. 

However,  I've been carrying a lot of anger/angst/hatred for a while now that's hard to let go and I recognize that this mentality is not helpful in my next role. 

What can I do to mentally reset and re-energize myself for my next job?

Take some time off between roles if you can. Travel. Mentor younger analysts you know. Make friends outside the industry and spend more time with them.

Congrats for getting a new job! I might understand how tough it could have been as I'm in a similar position (still looking) and even thought to leave without another offer at a certain point.

What made me feel better and put the anger away? Do a lot of introspection. Spend time with yourself travelling, doing sports, talking to a therapist. Especially the third one has been extremely important to me to get a different perspective on situations developing around me.

Do something that makes you feel good, like helping others. Not necessarily just in finance, it could be a little cousin, a student of your ex uni, or someone else.

Think that learning how to deal with yourself is more important than how the others deal with you. Sometimes we perceive things to be much bigger than they are in reality - so we need to work on our perception to go through hard times.

Coming from someone who has been in bad working environments:

1. What made it "toxic"? I've worked at places where my Director was super involved, over the edge somewhat, but I understood what he was trying to do because he was basically running his own in house business. I've been at other firms where my boss cared very little about my personal development and therefore cared very little about me. 

2. Just get over it. I mean that bluntly. You got out of your job, no one at your old job wants to hear about it, no one at your new job wants to hear about it, and I can guarantee unless your boss put hands on you, there are worse in the city than yours (not to downgrade your situation, it could be bad, but sometimes you have to go through bad jobs/managers to fully appreciate the good ones.)

I had a similar experience in a prior role and, even though I've been out of it for over a year, I still find myself retaining some of these feelings.  Just a few weeks ago I was making plans with some people and they brought up Sunday afternoon.  Almost automatically, and with some sarcasm, I mentioned that Sunday afternoon is reserved for my crippling anxiety about the week to come.  They asked what I do that causes such anxiety and only then did it hit me that I'm not in that situation, life is good, work is good, and I don't really have a reason to feel that way anymore.  

I felt foolish but it was the prompt I needed to let that shit go.   

Hey man, first job I ever had my CFO basically tried to fight me at the Christmas party bc he was shitfaced. Horrible culture and made me realize that there are actual douchebags out there in positions of power. Took me a while to get over how much of a douche he truly was, but I’ve learned to accept that the best thing I can do is make sure I don’t end up like that one day.

I’ve realized having self-respect is huge. Without self respect, you have nothing. I was only 21 at the time and it was my first job, so I never really stood up for myself. If anyone tried to treat me like that now, they’d get an earful, and I’d be looking to move jobs asap.

Previously worked at a firm so ridiculously toxic that my friends / family didn't believe some of the stories I told them. I don't even care to rehash my experiences there for the sake of providing examples, so just take my word for it.

I'll share the simple advice I got from family at the time:

Leave it at work. Simple as that. Stress, anger at nasty coworkers, etc., all must die the moment you step foot outside the office. It can wait until the morning, and you cannot allow it to impact your relationships with other (innocent) people. Building on this mentality, you should work on making your entire personal life a place of personal life only, and your new role a place of 'new role only'. In other words, this sort of apathetic attitude should apply to leaving a previous position just the same; if you're no longer spending time in that office, stop thinking about that office. Great investors excel at mental compartmentalization, so take this as a prime opportunity to grow on that front.

I know this is easier said than done, but constantly reminding yourself of the above (and that you're only working to collect a check) may help you the way it helped me. For what it's worth, I'm sorry for what you went through and I commiserate. Congrats on the new job... Now let's forget the old one exists.

Just here to say all of this advice is fantastic. I’m in a different industry but very similar dynamic (not angry because the personal was mean to me, but I’m angry at their incompetence and apathy). I WFH so after work I go on a short 30 min walk around my neighborhood as a way to separate work from my personal life.